Partner would prefer I got the tube with my 5 year old rather pick us up by car to visit him.

[Lolly19842015]

Now I've never minded getting the tube to his and have done so from the beginning of our relationship but since the pandemic I've been scared to take my 5 year old on the tube and have asked him to pick us up. He has but not before suggesting the train every single time first. I feel bad asking him but I feel even worse thinking he doesn't care enough to pick us like it's such a big effort and he would rather spend an hour each way to get us on the train rather than drive 45 mins each way. Am I being unreasonable or does he just not care enough?

Suggest he visits you instead?

Unless you're extremely vulnerable, you should get the train.

So it’s takes him longer to pick you up from the train station?

I think it depends how often it is.

I understand how you feel though. I’ve not been on public transport since pre lockdown and certainly wouldn’t do so with the kids in tow.

An hour and a half round trip twice in a weekend? Nope, I wouldn't do this for any man. You're being very U.

Wait, he comes to your house to pick you up no matter how you get to his?

I've had no issues on the tube with my 2 year old. It's very quiet when we've been on (most days as we go out every day), sometimes we get the whole carriage to ourselves.

If you don't want to use public transport you could suggest he visits you instead.
When you say 45 minutes each way, do you mean 45 minutes to yours to get you, then 45 minutes to take you to his house, then 45 minutes to take you back then 45 minutes for him to get home?

I understand your reluctance to use the tube but you can both wear a mask and use sanitiser. Unless either of you are medically vulnerable, there’s little issue using public transport right now.

I think asking him to drive so far every weekend just to see you for a day or two is asking too much.

But him picking you up (round trip) takes longer!

Can you invite him to yours?
Or learn to drive?

The Tube's empty (outside of rush hour) and super clean at the moment. It doesn't worry me at all to use it.

How often do you go? I would suggest taking turns at least.

I know a lot of people are scared of taking the tube but if you're going to school, shops, seeing other people, it's not really any more dangerous.

Anyway London will probably be in Tier 2 by the weekend so you won't be able to visit him anyway, if I understand the rules correctly.

I don't understand this. Which journey takes longer?

Which journey is longer it's not clear?

If he's driving to yours why don't you just stay there. Making him do four journeys is cheeky. You could at least use public transport one way.

I would say tube is relatively safe as outside of rush hour it is quiet and even in rush hour it is busy but no where near previous levels. The roads however are as busy as ever

Ime it can get very frustrating providing lifts every time
..

Of course you should get the train!

Are you vulnerable? If not then yabu

but since the pandemic I've been scared to take my 5 year old on the tube

The science has been pretty clear that the risk to children is minimal. YABU to expect your boyfriend to collect you.

Stop visiting, see what happens.

Have you previously taken it in turns, I.e. you took the tube one week, he drove to you the next week?

If you were always the one tubing it to go and see him, he is being a dick by now refusing to reciprocate now.

Sounds like you are the one facilitating the relationship?

Do you never get the tube for other journeys? If you do, even without your child, I don't know what your issue is.

So it's takes an hour for you to go by tube but 1 hour 30 minutes for the round trip for him to collect you and take you to his? I think you have to get the tube sometimes or he comes to you and hangs out with you there.

We’re on the tube a fair bit, I’m in two vulnerable groups, due to being five my son is very low risk to any complications.

If you don’t want to use the tube why not book an uber rather than relying on him everytime.