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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cross that step daughter talked to DP on doorstep - Covid related

118 replies

Bananasinpyjamas20 · 12/10/2020 20:16

Just a bit of a rant really. My step daughter has her own family who live nearby. DP told me today that she was coming to collect something. She came around and DP handed her it on the doorstep. She then stood asking him about something for ages and DP kept saying just to look it up on Google, I could only hear bits as I was in the kitchen.

She was there for ages and seemed like she wanted to come in but DP sounded a bit non committal.

Then DP came in after she left and I asked how she was, and he let slip that the whole family are isolating as her husband is a close contact of a known Covid case and they have all been tested.

I’m pretty cross she came around for something unimportant and kept DP talking standing quite close for so long! I said to DP why is she came here when she should be isolating and he refused to talk about it. AIBU?

OP posts:
Bollss · 12/10/2020 20:19

Why have they all been tested? Only her husband needs to isolate unless they all have symptoms. And she was on the door step. You're over reacting.

OwlBeThere · 12/10/2020 20:20

What’s ‘ages’? If they were outside then I can’t see the drama tbh.

EdwardCullensBiteOnTheSide · 12/10/2020 20:21

Crikey she's his daughter, and she was outside!

MrsPworkingmummy · 12/10/2020 20:21

It sounds like you're over reacting to me. Are you looking for an excuse to limit contact? She does not need to isolate unless her husband has a positive test

notanoctopus · 12/10/2020 20:23

She doesn't need to isolate, but if I was in her position, I wouldn't be at close range with a loved one I didn't need to be near to.

Original poster
Bananasinpyjamas20 · 12/10/2020 20:24

DP didn’t say who the contact was but they are all being tested as her husband is a close contact and they are casual contacts - or something to be honest it wasn’t very clear.

I don’t want anyone who is supposed to be isolating anywhere near me or DP, doorstep or not. It is airborne and talking face to face for nearly 30 minutes is also the definition of another close contact.

OP posts:
Bollss · 12/10/2020 20:25

She doesn't need to isolate op unless she has symptoms. Casual contacts isn't even a thing! You're being ridiculous.

Original poster
Bananasinpyjamas20 · 12/10/2020 20:25

@notanoctopus

She doesn't need to isolate, but if I was in her position, I wouldn't be at close range with a loved one I didn't need to be near to.
Her, her DP and her daughter all have to self isolate. I do know that much. And they are all being tested and at least her DH and possibly her are being tested twice.
OP posts:
CeibaTree · 12/10/2020 20:26

Ok OP you seriously need to get a grip if you can't handle your partners daughter talking to him on the doorstep. Do you have health anxiety or are you extremely vulnerable? If so I guess just don't answer the door to anyone for the foreseeable!

Bollss · 12/10/2020 20:26

Why are they supposed to be isolating op? Considering you only know this all second hand?

Original poster
Bananasinpyjamas20 · 12/10/2020 20:28

@TrustTheGeneGenie

She doesn't need to isolate op unless she has symptoms. Casual contacts isn't even a thing! You're being ridiculous.
That is what she told DP so yes I’m sure it probably isn’t a thing but that’s her words not mine.

All I know is that they have ALL been asked to self isolate. Her child cannot attend school, she cannot go to work and nor can her DH. They are all being tested. She talked about close or casual contacts to DP, as he told me, but yes I have no idea I’ve not heard of that either.

However it was very clear to her that she needed to self isolate and they are awaiting the results of tests. So I don’t think it was on that she visited at all, and certainly not that she talked for 30 minutes. Especially as no one told us I could have invited her in if it had been me at the door.

OP posts:
OwlBeThere · 12/10/2020 20:28

Why are they being tested twice?! Sounds like nonsense.
But the fact is your DP is an adult who can talk to his daughter if he wants. He chose to, so that’s on him

AlwaysLatte · 12/10/2020 20:29

I thought only the person in close contact with the infected person had to self isolate until test and the other members of the household to Isolate if they had symptoms? In which case nothing was wrong here.

Howlooseisyourgoose · 12/10/2020 20:29

YABU OP. Get a grip.

Bollss · 12/10/2020 20:29

Why are they being tested?

She doesn't need to isolate unless she was a contact and like I said you're getting this info second hand so you actually have no idea what's going on.

AlwaysLatte · 12/10/2020 20:30

Maybe it's different to rules where you are.

Justwingingmotherhood · 12/10/2020 20:30

Typical stepmum.

Jellycatspyjamas · 12/10/2020 20:30

And they are all being tested and at least her DH and possibly her are being tested twice.

That may mean the first test was inconclusive maybe because the swap was contaminated in some way - it doesn’t mean they are more “infected” or whatever you were implying.

Original poster
Bananasinpyjamas20 · 12/10/2020 20:30

As DP isn’t forthcoming on his original information to me, I do not know they they all have to self isolate - perhaps they all have symptoms.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bananasinpyjamas20 · 12/10/2020 20:31

@Justwingingmotherhood

Typical stepmum.
Typical lazy offensive AIBU comment
OP posts:
Bollss · 12/10/2020 20:31

@Justwingingmotherhood

Typical stepmum.
That's not fair!! I'm a step mum and I think this is bloody ridiculous
Original poster
Bananasinpyjamas20 · 12/10/2020 20:34

Honestly it is no wonder that half the country are experiencing a second wave of Covid if everyone here thinks that someone who was told that her whole family has to self isolate - then doesn’t self isolate and talks to my DP for 30 minutes - is OK.

It’s not OK. It’s that kind of lacksidaisical ‘oh it’ll be alright even though a health professional told me clearly to stay home and not see anyone’ thinking that means the virus spreads.

I give up.

OP posts:
Bollss · 12/10/2020 20:36

@Bananasinpyjamas20

Honestly it is no wonder that half the country are experiencing a second wave of Covid if everyone here thinks that someone who was told that her whole family has to self isolate - then doesn’t self isolate and talks to my DP for 30 minutes - is OK.

It’s not OK. It’s that kind of lacksidaisical ‘oh it’ll be alright even though a health professional told me clearly to stay home and not see anyone’ thinking that means the virus spreads.

I give up.

No we just don't think she needs to be isolating unless she was the close contact or has symptoms neither of which you can clarify!!
hedwigismyowl · 12/10/2020 20:36

@Bananasinpyjamas20

Honestly it is no wonder that half the country are experiencing a second wave of Covid if everyone here thinks that someone who was told that her whole family has to self isolate - then doesn’t self isolate and talks to my DP for 30 minutes - is OK.

It’s not OK. It’s that kind of lacksidaisical ‘oh it’ll be alright even though a health professional told me clearly to stay home and not see anyone’ thinking that means the virus spreads.

I give up.

As a pp said, only the close contact has to self-isolate and their household only needs to self-isolate if the close contact tests positive, which they haven't yet, so nowt wrong here.
eatsleepread · 12/10/2020 20:38

YABU.