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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cross that step daughter talked to DP on doorstep - Covid related

118 replies

Bananasinpyjamas20 · 12/10/2020 20:16

Just a bit of a rant really. My step daughter has her own family who live nearby. DP told me today that she was coming to collect something. She came around and DP handed her it on the doorstep. She then stood asking him about something for ages and DP kept saying just to look it up on Google, I could only hear bits as I was in the kitchen.

She was there for ages and seemed like she wanted to come in but DP sounded a bit non committal.

Then DP came in after she left and I asked how she was, and he let slip that the whole family are isolating as her husband is a close contact of a known Covid case and they have all been tested.

I’m pretty cross she came around for something unimportant and kept DP talking standing quite close for so long! I said to DP why is she came here when she should be isolating and he refused to talk about it. AIBU?

OP posts:
Cassilis · 12/10/2020 20:41

lacksidaisical

lackadaisical

Disfordarkchocolate · 12/10/2020 20:41

She is family, not just has her only family nearby. Poor woman.

MrsFoggy82 · 12/10/2020 20:44

So you don't know the whole story? And are guessing on half information from The other half?

It seems to me like you're overreacting and are filling in the blanks whilst just winding yourself up.

A daughter wanted to talk to her Dad. Given you didn't know about the self isolation issue it already strikes me as weird she was kept on the doorstep seemingly vying for her fathers attention while you became irritated indoors.

Now you're pissed off with everyone including us because we don't agree with you?

IndecentFeminist · 12/10/2020 20:46

She's his daughter! Not a random.

Lilybet1980 · 12/10/2020 20:55

If they are genuinely supposed to be isolating then YANBU.

Where do you live OP? In England you would only be advised to get a test if showing symptoms and only the close contact has to self isolate, not the rest of their household (unless the close contact develops symptoms, in which case the household isolates unless a negative test is returned).

Everyone still with me?!

CamillasHardHat · 12/10/2020 20:56

Ds was sent home from sixth form this morning as someone from his bubble has tested positive for covid.

He and only he has to stay at home for 14 days, the rest of us are free to work, shop etc. Only if Ds or one of us develops symptoms must we all self isolate and the one showing symptoms gets tested.

We are already in an area of restrictive measures before today's tier system.

I cannot see why they are all isolating. Who on earth have they all come into contact with?

withgraceinmyheart · 12/10/2020 20:56

How do you know she 'had been told to isolate'? This sounds like a misunderstanding to me.

Are you in England? Close contacts aren't tested here unless they have symptoms.

Family of close contacts don't need to isolate unless they or someone in the household tests positive or develops symptoms.

It sounds like they've decided themselves to isolate the whole family (which is fair enough and lots of people do) and to get tested (which they shouldn't, they aren't entitled to tests)

Al1langdownthecleghole · 12/10/2020 20:57

Did you not go and talk to her at the front door?

Justwingingmotherhood · 12/10/2020 20:59

Bless you. Your step kids are very lucky to have a decent one x

AnyOldPrion · 12/10/2020 21:00

Depends whether “standing on the doorstep” means

“standing quite well apart in the open air, out of spitting-while-speaking distance for thirty minutes“

or

“standing within a foot of one another while speaking for thirty minutes”

The first - miniscule risk. The second, risk there, if she is indeed infected.

I’d be pissed off too OP, and asking lots of details. I get that it’s his daughter, but my daughter was quarantined with her dad for several weeks, and though I saw her when we dropped food off for the pair of them, we really did stand far apart while we were talking. I realise the risk isn’t that huge, but why take it unnecessarily?

Justwingingmotherhood · 12/10/2020 21:00

Its mumsnet not an English exam love! You do sound like a typical stepmom get a grip.

LindaEllen · 12/10/2020 21:02

Jesus Christ OP.

It's his daughter and you're angry that she stood on the doorstep for a short time and had a chat.

I mean, really? She doesn't have to isolate because someone in her household is isolating - only if they then get symptoms, or if she had been exposed to the 'contact' directly herself.

You should never, EVER be 'angry' that she wants to see her own dad. Nor angry at him for allowing it.

birdseeder · 12/10/2020 21:03
Biscuit
RainingBatsAndFrogs · 12/10/2020 21:05

My step daughter has her own family who live nearby

And her father...who is her own family.....

turnthebiglightoff · 12/10/2020 21:07

OP. Really think you need to calm down.

DownThePlath · 12/10/2020 21:08

Would you be this arsed if it was your daughter? Get over yourself.

rwalker · 12/10/2020 21:08

Only the person who has been a contact of the positive person need to SI very strange the whole household is.

Lifeispassingby · 12/10/2020 21:08

Depends- Has she or has she not had contact with the person who has tested positive for covid? If she has then YANBU as she should be at home isolating. If she hasn’t and just her husband has had contact then she does not need to isolate and YABU as there is no problem with her turning up on your doorstep

purpleboy · 12/10/2020 21:09

Am I right in thinking she has been tested and awaiting results? That's what you wrote in your op.
Is everyone missing this? Regardless of how you all want to perceive op as a wicked stepmum, the fact is the daughter should be isolating until she gets her test results back.
Yanbu, I would be pissed off at that.

Alfiemoon1 · 12/10/2020 21:10

Only her dh needs to isolate as he was the contact unless he gets symptoms or a positive test your sd doesn’t need to isolate that’s the information on the government website

RUOKHUN · 12/10/2020 21:10

Hold on. Who was this health professional who told her to isolate? A lot of missing and incorrect information here OP. No point in getting defensive, the way you have originally written it, it doesn’t sound like there is an issue!

Perhaps your DSD was embellishing her story a little?

decoraters · 12/10/2020 21:11

Then DP came in after she left and I asked how she was,

The worst part of this is that it seemed normal for him to talk to her for ages on the doorstep. Surely you would be asking WTF he didn't let her in, not how she was Confused

LulaLuna · 12/10/2020 21:14

You are NOT overreacting.i have read the comments and it is an abomination that so many ignorant people fail to understand simple physics.
The virus is spread in an aerosol form... if anyone has ever been near someone spraying a bit of deoderant they will know that from very far away the particles can travel and be inhaled.
I wish people would do the research and educate themselves rather than be sheep who take instruction from newspapers and politicians who lead them like lambs to the slaughter.
I hope you are all fine, the liklihood is that you are, but truly do not feel bad as you are being assertive.

Aragog · 12/10/2020 21:21

Her, her DP and her daughter all have to self isolate. I do know that much. And they are all being tested and at least her DH and possibly her are being tested twice.

Unless they have symptoms or are part of the Nhs studies, then they don't need testing.

If only the DP has had contact then the rest don't have to isolate.

The only way she has to isolate is if she was a close contact, or that she or her household have symptoms and/or test positive.

NC4Now · 12/10/2020 21:21

But the requirements are that only the person who was in contact with the person who tested positive has to isolate.
DS was isolating for 2 weeks while the rest of us carried on, after someone on his course tested positive. Those were the instructions we were given.
Unless SD has symptoms, she’s fine to talk on the step - even in a restricted area like mine. Just keep a distance.