Cross that step daughter talked to DP on doorstep - Covid related

[Bananasinpyjamas20]

Just a bit of a rant really. My step daughter has her own family who live nearby. DP told me today that she was coming to collect something. She came around and DP handed her it on the doorstep. She then stood asking him about something for ages and DP kept saying just to look it up on Google, I could only hear bits as I was in the kitchen.

She was there for ages and seemed like she wanted to come in but DP sounded a bit non committal.

Then DP came in after she left and I asked how she was, and he let slip that the whole family are isolating as her husband is a close contact of a known Covid case and they have all been tested.

I’m pretty cross she came around for something unimportant and kept DP talking standing quite close for so long! I said to DP why is she came here when she should be isolating and he refused to talk about it. AIBU?

@emilyfrost

You say she has “her own family who live nearby”, which means you don’t think she’s part of your family.

She is.

So many negative assumptions of me on this thread!

This one... by her own family I mean her husband and kids. It is relevant as this is about them all being tested.

Another assumption:
That I ‘made’ them stand at the step or I don’t invite them around?
Nothing I have said should make anyone assume that.

That I have made up the fact that she had to self isolate.
No step daughter told DP who told me.

I asked DP why they were talking on the doorstep? as yes it is a bit strange. They were talking inside but door was open. That is when and only when DP told me they were self isolating. He admitted today he felt a bit uncomfortable but didn’t want to challenge her, he thought she’d pick up what she came for and leave. When she didn’t he didn’t know what to do as today, he admits he didn’t really want to have a conversation himself until she got her test results back but she kept talking.

That step daughter and her family were all awaiting results of COVID tests.
She told DP this and I clearly explained that.

Yes I am a step mum and no none of you know anything about what kind of step mum I am and if you think you can tell from a short paragraph on mumset you must be psychic. Or just a bit nasty.

I hope everyone else awaiting test restils are covid free and SDs husband gets well soon. FWIW if someone in my close family had been in known close contact with someone with covid theres now way on earth id see my parents in person until I knew my family were all clear.

DD was sent home and has to self isolate for 14 days; although I technically don't have to isolate, she has obviously been with us since she was with the positive person. I have decided not to go to something I would usually do this week, as a precautionary measure. If DD gets symptoms, it could mean I have been out and about infecting others.

Your partner only needs a test if he gets symptoms. Even if he gets a negative test he will still need to isolate for the full 2 weeks if hes told to do so - a negative test doesnt override the isolation. Just FYI.

If your DSD does have symptoms, I understand your concerns. (I have long Covid, which has completely wrecked my life for the last seven months.) I don't think your DP is particularly at risk as a result of talking to her on the doorstep, but if she's been told to self-isolate until she has the test result, then that's what she should be doing.

I wouldn't worry about it, as what's done is done, but it does change my view here. If she has symptoms, it does mean that a positive result is more likely.

Honestly it is no wonder that half the country are experiencing a second wave of Covid if everyone here thinks that someone who was told that her whole family has to self isolate - then doesn’t self isolate and talks to my DP for 30 minutes - is OK.

Or, someone has been given bad advice by the HCP and is following the actual advice from PHE.

Ah, I had this confused with another thread. I got it wrong. I admit that.

Are you going to admit you got it wrong as well?

LastGoldenDaysOfSummer No, because I didn’t get anything wrong. I never referred to him as her husband, that was another poster you quoted. So you’ve got it wrong twice now.

If was over 2 meters away YABU if she was closer YANBU but DP should have asked her to back off.

I’m amazed how many people are spouting the rules from memory but aren’t following common sense. If someone has been tested and is waiting for results they should self isolate as should their household members until it’s received. Doesn’t matter if you’re allowed to go out or not - use your brain! This is why Britain has high COVID rates.

And now OPs son in law does have the virus so let’s hope he and the stepdaughter didn't do loads of social visits while it was incubating.

"Why have they all been tested? Only her husband needs to isolate unless they all have symptoms."

That may be the law, but it would be a good idea for them all to isolate wouldn't it, if they can do it without too much trouble, or to socially distance.
I've been asked not to go to work this week because a colleague's family member has it. Not my close contact, but a close contact of someone I've been in the same room as. I won't self-isolate as I don't need to, but I wouldn't knowingly mix with vulnerable people either.

"unless HE has symptoms he doesn't need to test."

which doesn't make much sense because so many people are asymptomatic. Is this rule just because there aren't enough tests?

@Gwenhwyfar

"unless HE has symptoms he doesn't need to test."

which doesn't make much sense because so many people are asymptomatic. Is this rule just because there aren't enough tests?

Absolutely no idea but that is the rule!

@GhoulWithADragonTattoo

If was over 2 meters away YABU if she was closer YANBU but DP should have asked her to back off.

Definitely not 2 metres away - she was inside the doorway less than a foot away from DP, talking face to face for 30 minutes.

Wicked stepmum alert

I'm sorry to hear about the positive test.

You really don't seem to understand the guidelines at all though. None of his close contacts are entitled to a test unless they develop symptoms, including your step daughter. She does need to isolate though.

If she's already been tested and is positive then your partner needs to isolate but isn't entitled to a test unless he develops symptoms.

You seem to think close contacts are all tested and aren't listening to the people telling you otherwise.

Oh hang on I've just read your post properly and seen that she does have symptoms!

Apologies, my post is wrong in that case.

@withgraceinmyheart no worries. With exception of some posters, most people replying didn’t bother to read my post and just wrote me off as an evil step mother. Most kept telling me I’d got the rules wrong too and didn’t know what I was talking about. It was reported to me that SD was awaiting results of her test, and she had also been told to self isolate. Now I know it was because she had symptoms.

I don’t mind people replying to my post if they’ve bothered to read it. I was surprised by the Daily Mail/Trump style dumbed down attacks!

The fact she actually had symptoms makes it awful that she went and spoke to your DP on your doorstep, she absolutely should be self isolating along either her whole household. I would be fuming OP.