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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cross that step daughter talked to DP on doorstep - Covid related

118 replies

Bananasinpyjamas20 · 12/10/2020 20:16

Just a bit of a rant really. My step daughter has her own family who live nearby. DP told me today that she was coming to collect something. She came around and DP handed her it on the doorstep. She then stood asking him about something for ages and DP kept saying just to look it up on Google, I could only hear bits as I was in the kitchen.

She was there for ages and seemed like she wanted to come in but DP sounded a bit non committal.

Then DP came in after she left and I asked how she was, and he let slip that the whole family are isolating as her husband is a close contact of a known Covid case and they have all been tested.

I’m pretty cross she came around for something unimportant and kept DP talking standing quite close for so long! I said to DP why is she came here when she should be isolating and he refused to talk about it. AIBU?

OP posts:
SunShinesStill · 12/10/2020 21:23

@Bananasinpyjamas20 I’m sorry you’re getting such a hard time. Of course 30mins less then 2m even if outside would put your DH at Rick if she does turn out symptoms in the ne t few days. Being outside isn’t a magic force field, you still need 2m. It’s just less likely but can still happen (Cheltenham outdoor races anyone)

Aragog · 12/10/2020 21:26

Am I right in thinking she has been tested and awaiting results? That's what you wrote in your op.
Is everyone missing this? Regardless of how you all want to perceive op as a wicked stepmum, the fact is the daughter should be isolating until she gets her test results back.
Yanbu, I would be pissed off at that.

But it depends on why she was tested.
Did she get a test because she has symptoms? If yes then she should be isolating.

Did she get a test as part of one of the research studies, but has no Covid symptoms? No she doesn't have to isolate unless told to be T&T due to being a close contact.

Did she get a test with no symptoms and not being part of a research study? Waste of a test and still doesn't need to isolate unless told to by T&T

I've done two research tests and did not need to isolate.

My Dd is currently SI due to being a close contact. Only she isolated, me and Dh don't.

SandyY2K · 12/10/2020 21:27

@AlwaysLatte

I thought only the person in close contact with the infected person had to self isolate until test and the other members of the household to Isolate if they had symptoms?

That's my understanding too.

WitchesNStuff · 12/10/2020 21:28

If she was supposed to be self isolating then YANBU but she doesnt need to self isolate unless she actually came in contact with the person who has tested positive. Also you are only supposed to get tested if you have symptoms. Someone is bullshitting here.

Aragog · 12/10/2020 21:29

Those thinking the SD was wrong - are you missing that only the DP is a close contact, based on the OP? If this is true then the daughter and child don't need to at all.

It really does depend on whether the SD was a contact or not, which the OP hasn't said that she was.

yawnsvillex · 12/10/2020 21:36

YABVU

Hope that helps

Arthersleep · 12/10/2020 21:37

The first thing that struck me about your post was that she has family near by, which gives the impression that you didn't consider her to be family (although this could just be down to the way that it's been written). In any event, she is allowed to talk to her own Dad on his doorstep at a distance. Only her husband needs to isolate and not her.

Asterion · 12/10/2020 21:43

@Bananasinpyjamas20

Honestly it is no wonder that half the country are experiencing a second wave of Covid if everyone here thinks that someone who was told that her whole family has to self isolate - then doesn’t self isolate and talks to my DP for 30 minutes - is OK.

It’s not OK. It’s that kind of lacksidaisical ‘oh it’ll be alright even though a health professional told me clearly to stay home and not see anyone’ thinking that means the virus spreads.

I give up.

If you're so certain, and are now "giving up" because you didn't like the answers, why did you bother posting?
burnoutbabe · 12/10/2020 21:45

I'd be pretty hacked off if someone who knew they were a potential risk came and chatted for ages to my other half. Isssume they were not wearing masks and weren't shooting at each other along the drive?
It's just an unnecessary risk isn't it? And given you no choice in potential exposure unless you stay away from your partner.

springiscoming12 · 12/10/2020 21:53

FFS OP, find some real issues to worry about.

BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze · 12/10/2020 21:56

The details are a bit vague. But if she’s actually been told to isolate then I’d be annoyed to that she came to visit. There’s not much you can do now though.

BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze · 12/10/2020 21:57

too

Sweettea1 · 12/10/2020 22:04

Only husband needs to isolate an no one needs testing if no symptoms.

Thurmanmurman · 12/10/2020 22:12

OP you clearly don’t think you’re unreasonable, so why ask and then get shirty with people who think you are?

feistyoneyouare · 12/10/2020 22:31

@Justwingingmotherhood

Its mumsnet not an English exam love! You do sound like a typical stepmom get a grip.
What is a 'typical stepmum' like, then? Do enlighten us.
seayork2020 · 12/10/2020 22:35

Op what do you want people to say on this thread?

Yes you are being unreasonable but do you want to hear that?

HeckyPeck · 12/10/2020 22:41

OP you made the mistake of admitting to being a step mum.

You should have said it was your MIL then the responses would be very different!

Dinosaurpooped · 12/10/2020 22:43

Sounds like you’re using coronavirus as a reason to keep your step children at bay.
Her father is her family too even if you don’t count her as part of yours.
You sound like an utter delight!

slashlover · 12/10/2020 23:12

All I know is that they have ALL been asked to self isolate. Her child cannot attend school, she cannot go to work and nor can her DH. They are all being tested. She talked about close or casual contacts to DP, as he told me, but yes I have no idea I’ve not heard of that either.

Who told her to self isolate? Track and trace? A GP? The school?

Elsewyre · 13/10/2020 04:31

I'm so curious for people like the OP what is your plan for the rest of your life?

I mean when will you give up on this stuff, or in 50 years will you still be isolating?

emilyfrost · 13/10/2020 04:34

You say she has “her own family who live nearby”, which means you don’t think she’s part of your family.

She is.

BritWifeinUSA · 13/10/2020 04:36

Would you react like this if her husband had been in contact with someone who had norovirus? Or the flu? Are you at high risk of developing severe symptoms? If you are that paranoid, don’t open the door and speak to people on the phone only.

seayork2020 · 13/10/2020 04:46

There are some posts I wonder what the thinking will be when the Virus cannot be used as an excuse anymore - this is one of them

LastGoldenDaysOfSummer · 13/10/2020 05:38

Some of the ridiculous "no issue" responses on this thread are the reason we are back in semi-lockdown.

Being related to someone really doesn't make them less infectious.

Some really daft people seem to think that's the case.

Elsewyre · 13/10/2020 05:56

@LastGoldenDaysOfSummer

Some of the ridiculous "no issue" responses on this thread are the reason we are back in semi-lockdown.

Being related to someone really doesn't make them less infectious.

Some really daft people seem to think that's the case.

Ok so in your world where everyone followed the rules 100% do you just carry on like that forever? Or do you have an exit strategy?

I mean if you think lockdown will eradicate it fuck it whole hog and lose a year and ditch the cold and the flu from the population too?

Swipe left for the next trending thread