To think I’m not the tea bitch?

[Ribrabrob]

Recently started a new job. Fairly basic administration job, although fairly well paid for the role. It’s just a temporary maternity cover role. Not really a job I enjoy or want to do but was rather desperate so took the job.

The job is okay and the people are fine, mostly quite nice. I work closely with the manger in a tiny office, the owner is based in an office nearby but regularly pops in. From the start it’s been made very clear that making tea/coffee for them both is very important in fact in my first interview I asked what was the most helpful thing the previous post holder did for the manager. The manager answered ‘oh it’s so helpful when she gets my drink for me’. I remember laughing thinking it was a joke but it wasn’t

Hints are regularly made about having a drink, at least twice before I get the hint and then I’ll offer. If I don’t offer she’ll then ask outright but always after hunting. It’s annoying, i would rather she just ask. Other people also make little remarks when they visit the office that she (manager) doesn’t seem to drink as much as when the other post holder was here! It’s so weird.

I don’t drink many hot drinks myself, usually just one in the morning and occasionally another later on so it doesn’t always enter my head to make one 🤷‍♀️ But of course I do offer when I am making.

The other day the owner was due in in about half an hour. Manager asked me to have a chat quickly and took ten minutes explaining to me how he’d like his tea and to try and have one ready for him.

Aibu to be annoyed by this or is it just a part of a basic admin role? Aibu to think I’m not the tea bitch?! Aibu to think how I make the tea really isn’t that important? I’ve worked in offices before and the CEO’s would always make drinks like everybody else!

This exactly, and no most decent companies do not do this.

Rubbish. I am assuming a man could have applied for and got this post. This isn’t a manager just looking round for a woman to make the tea (that is sexist, and awful). This is hiring someone to make the tea and the OP showing up for that.

But she’s not hired to make the tea - she’s been hired as an admin assistant aaargghh!!
Drinking is an ‘activity’ to sustain yourself personally, not an admin task, like eating and going to the loo!
I know most contracts say ‘any other reasonable duties’ this generally means you may get asked to answer the phones, or cover a colleague, or look after a database etc not jump up and abandon your own work every time someone fancies a sodding brew!

They didn't tell her that explicitly, just that it's 'helpful'. And what's a 'decent interval'? And why, if the manager finds the 'intervals' unacceptable, can she not ask clearly if the OP could make tea, say, first thing, at 11am, and after lunch? Then no one needs to hint and no one needs to try to read minds.

Still they wouldn't have mentioned it at all at interview if it wasn't expected. Clearly the boss hints and mentions rather than be clear which is annoying but hey ho.

Mellonsprite

She very clearly says it was made clear from the start. It’s part of the role. Whether or not you think it’s admin or not isn’t relevant. She doesn’t have to do the job.

not jump up and abandon your own work every time someone fancies a sodding brew!

She’s abandoning her work every time the manager has to hint repeatedly for her to do it.

flaviaritt I’m starting to think you’re the boss in this scenario (make your own sodding drink )

No she wasn't told it was her role, she was told it was ‘helpful that the last person made drinks’ and thought it was a joke.
It might be helpful if someone brought me my lunch everyday, held doors open for me and wipes my backside but it’s not reasonable to expect that in this day and age!

"She very clearly says it was made clear from the start. It’s part of the role. Whether or not you think it’s admin or not isn’t relevant. "

No, she says the opposite. She says she thought it was a joke in the interview.

Still they wouldn't have mentioned it at all at interview if it wasn't expected. Clearly the boss hints and mentions rather than be clear which is annoying but hey ho.

Why 'hey ho'? Why should bad communication and management be shrugged off? I don't get it.
People on here are telling the OP to be 'proactive' and sort it herself, but who's getting paid more and has a more responsible job, her or the manager?

"Rubbish. I am assuming a man could have applied for and got this post. "

You don't know if they would have hired a man though, do you? You also don't know if he'd have been made to make the tea. Some people treat men and women differently in the same job. Fancy that!

I've only very rarely seen men do this kind of thing, though of course I can accept that others have different experiences.

We do have an idea of the proportion in this kind of job who are men and it's very low.

"I know most contracts say ‘any other reasonable duties’ this generally means you may get asked to answer the phones, or cover a colleague, or look after a database etc not jump up and abandon your own work every time someone fancies a sodding brew!"

I made this point higher up in the thread. Other reasonable duties as requested by manager need to be in the same kind of area e.g. you can't ask you secretary to go plough a field or a farm worker to write your will for you.

@Mellonsprite

But she’s not hired to make the tea - she’s been hired as an admin assistant aaargghh!! Drinking is an ‘activity’ to sustain yourself personally, not an admin task, like eating and going to the loo! I know most contracts say ‘any other reasonable duties’ this generally means you may get asked to answer the phones, or cover a colleague, or look after a database etc not jump up and abandon your own work every time someone fancies a sodding brew!

the job title is quite irrelevant, full job description vary a lot anyway, but expecting an admin assistant to make tea rounds is perfectly normal and standard

You are taking the word "admin" far too literally. Focus on the word "assistant" instead and clarify the role when you apply because it really is reasonable.

You don't know if they would have hired a man though, do you? You also don't know if he'd have been made to make the tea. Some people treat men and women differently in the same job. Fancy that!

There is absolutely no reason here to think that’s the case. Nobody surprised her with this expectation - it was clear. If she thought it was too ‘little woman’ or whatever, she should have turned it down. As it is she took it, is taking the cash, and needs to just get on with it IMO.

"I would have thought the Covid thing would give you a good reason to not have to make them a brew. I’m not allowed to make drinks for customers now because of it"

We have to take out own cups to the dishwasher so yes, I do wonder whether this employer is following Covid guidelines.

"Nobody surprised her with this expectation - it was clear. "

We've noted many times that OP thought it was a joke in the interview. I presume it was not in the written job description.

Other reasonable duties as requested by manager need to be in the same kind of area e.g. you can't ask you secretary to go plough a field or a farm worker to write your will for you.

You can if, when the farm worker was interviewed, you made it clear will-writing was a really important part of the role.

"You can if, when the farm worker was interviewed, you made it clear will-writing was a really important part of the role."

I'm pretty sure he (or she!) would consider that to be a joke (as OP has here)!

We've noted many times that OP thought it was a joke in the interview. I presume it was not in the written job description.

Then she was wrong. It was explained to her, she wrongly thought it was a joke, that’s on her. She should do it or expect not to have a job.

Gwenhwyfar

Maybe so. But if the employer didn’t mean it to be a joke, they’d be perfectly within their rights, if the well-paid farm worker who wasn’t prepared to draft a will refused, to get rid of them. Making tea is a normal assistant’s task anyway. It’s not scrubbing the bogs. This is silly.

the job title is quite irrelevant, full job description vary a lot anyway, but expecting an admin assistant to make tea rounds is perfectly normal and standard

It’s really not, it’s indicative of a poor unprogressive culture.

It’s really not, it’s indicative of a poor unprogressive culture.

Which the temporary admin assistant isn’t going to change by moaning. All she can do (if that’s her view) is go elsewhere, if she can.

It’s really not, it’s indicative of a poor unprogressive culture.

Which the temporary admin assistant isn’t going to change by moaning. All she can do (if that’s her view) is go elsewhere, if she can.

Moaning?? Its a good job women ‘moaned’ for equal pay back in the day isn’t it.

I stand by my first posts that making tea is usually and historically a task left to women, and we shouldn’t be ok with letting it persist.

Anyway I’m off to get my own lunch and brew now.

Mellonsprite

And she has equal pay, and the choice of whether to do this job or not. She has nothing to complain about at all. It’s only because - despite admitting she couldn’t get anything else - she thinks she’s too good to make her boss tea that she’s moaning now. So no, I don’t think that’s reasonable.

I don't mind making people tea, but I would have to nip that passve aaggressive hinting in the bud.
I would tell them outright that if they want me to make thema drink they need to ask me properly, like they would with any other office task.

I think it’s sexist and demeaning to expect someone to make the tea just because they’re “admin” Even if that request is coming from a woman

I work in a professional environment where senior directors make the tea in meetings everyone takes their turn no one is expected to do it as a “job”.

This was part of my job role years ago. I don't take hot drinks so hadn't made tea or coffee before. I made them it twice before said they would get their own.

I didn't mind making them tea or coffee but it must have been awful