To think I’m not the tea bitch?

[Ribrabrob]

Recently started a new job. Fairly basic administration job, although fairly well paid for the role. It’s just a temporary maternity cover role. Not really a job I enjoy or want to do but was rather desperate so took the job.

The job is okay and the people are fine, mostly quite nice. I work closely with the manger in a tiny office, the owner is based in an office nearby but regularly pops in. From the start it’s been made very clear that making tea/coffee for them both is very important in fact in my first interview I asked what was the most helpful thing the previous post holder did for the manager. The manager answered ‘oh it’s so helpful when she gets my drink for me’. I remember laughing thinking it was a joke but it wasn’t

Hints are regularly made about having a drink, at least twice before I get the hint and then I’ll offer. If I don’t offer she’ll then ask outright but always after hunting. It’s annoying, i would rather she just ask. Other people also make little remarks when they visit the office that she (manager) doesn’t seem to drink as much as when the other post holder was here! It’s so weird.

I don’t drink many hot drinks myself, usually just one in the morning and occasionally another later on so it doesn’t always enter my head to make one 🤷‍♀️ But of course I do offer when I am making.

The other day the owner was due in in about half an hour. Manager asked me to have a chat quickly and took ten minutes explaining to me how he’d like his tea and to try and have one ready for him.

Aibu to be annoyed by this or is it just a part of a basic admin role? Aibu to think I’m not the tea bitch?! Aibu to think how I make the tea really isn’t that important? I’ve worked in offices before and the CEO’s would always make drinks like everybody else!

And yes - I’m this day and age demanding that your office staff fetch you drinks all day long at click of a finger is entitled. EVEN if you pay them to do it and EVEN if they accepted because they need the money.*

We do everything because we need the money. If you start moaning because your boss wants something ‘right now’ when you are in a junior temp admin role, don’t expect to keep it, is all I am saying. Because yes, you are employed to do what they ask you to do in that position.

Nah, I don't believe the hinting is the issue or that if the manager said it directly it would magically be OK. It's the task itself that op doesn't want to do and resents, and claiming it's the way it's asked is bollocks. If the manager asked directly, she'd still not be happy about it.

"If you just asked in the right way" is such cobblers.

I agree with OP that the task itself is the problem!! The hinting just makes it worse!

And Flair on the flip side, I think if you’re the kind of boss that demands tea all day and never offers one back, don’t expect your staff to stay very long!! Or to ever go above and beyond for you.

Have a few coughs here and there, blow your nose etc. No one is going to want tea from you then.

And Flair on the flip side, I think if you’re the kind of boss that demands tea all day and never offers one back, don’t expect your staff to stay very long!! Or to ever go above and beyond for you.

Maybe they don’t mind her leaving if she doesn’t want to do the job they pay her for.

Nah, when you're annoyed about doing something, however it's asked is going to "make it worse". Because you just don't want to be asked to do it. People always bleat it's the way it's asked, but there are zero ways they would be happy for it to be asked.

And I really don't get why hinting is a "power trip" - to me it suggests avoiding confrontation, which means she isn't putting on the "big I am" boots.

Sure, it's annoying and I do get that, but it's only as demeaning as you give it headspace.

@OVienna

I said it because I've been there.

I no longer do that type of work because it is very hard to command respect even as PA to the Chief Exec. People assuming I wasn't busy because the Chief Exec was out of the office. People assuming I 'had a lot of letters to type' when I said I was busy. Everyone trying to delegate their shitty little jobs to me because there are no other admin staff. One boss wanted me to jump up and offer every single visitor (including internal staff) to his office a cup of tea. I think I made tea every 30 minutes in that job.

It very much depends on the role but a lot of PA and admin jobs involve tea making. It's very difficult to push back on that without being viewed as a stroppy cow hence the reason that you either get on with it or look for another job.

I’m stunned by how many people feel that the OP shouldn’t be making tea despite the fact this was mentioned as a requirement at interview

As for those saying make it badly, are you also the people who complain that you don’t get opportunities to progress?! Again really shocked.

In my world admin assistants/executive assistants are charged with making the bosses life easier.

They make coffee; fetch lunch; pick up dry cleaning; schedule flights; print documents and annotate as required; book restaurants; manage diaries both personal and professional and generally make work a better place.

They make themselves indispensable and are worth their weight in gold so paid accordingly. I suspect their understanding of “fairly well” is significantly different to yours though.

@murakamilove

Is this really what an efficient company spends its money on?

God help us! This is the very definition of efficiency. If you have two people in an office, one who you can change out at a rate of £500 per hour and one that you can’t, who do you want to be taking time making the tea?!

I no longer do that type of work because it is very hard to command respect even as PA to the Chief Exec.

Well, yeah. If I want to command respect I’ll look for something high-powered (I have never commanded respect, to be fair).

There’s a world of different between a busy executive rushing between meetings who wants the odd drink to keep going, and an entitled women in a small office hinting at how thirsty she is constantly as OP described. Latter is on a power trip and should treat her staff with more respect

Yes, how dare a woman expect to be to be given a drink by someone she has specifically hired to do so?

And why is someone running a small company assumed to be less busy than someone in a larger organisation? IME (have worked in both), it's the opposite way round.

Masses of internalised misogyny on this thread.

Yes, how dare a woman expect to be to be given a drink by someone she has specifically hired to do so?

The entitled, uppity cow.

Don’t forget lazy and self important too!! 😂

Would seriously take her 3 mins to make herself even 1 a day!

Would seriously take her 3 mins to make herself even 1 a day!

Same to do her own photocopying (once) or send an email. She pays someone to do those things because she believes that’s a better use of time and money. That’s up to her, and it’s up to others whether or not to work for her.

Personally I think a clear “please can you get me a drink. I’m too busy right now to do myself” would be way more respectful. And maybe she could even offer to make OP one once in a while too - just to show a tiny bit of kindness.

However the manager could be thinking 'we told her tea making is part of the job, why isn't making them at decent intervals, it's very frustrating having to hint.'

'we told her tea making is part of the job, why isn't making them at decent intervals, it's very frustrating having to hint.'
They didn't tell her that explicitly, just that it's 'helpful'. And what's a 'decent interval'? And why, if the manager finds the 'intervals' unacceptable, can she not ask clearly if the OP could make tea, say, first thing, at 11am, and after lunch? Then no one needs to hint and no one needs to try to read minds.

It’s probably more frustrating to be hinted at! By a lazy women who should do it herself.

I hope OP does manage to find another job soon. For a progressive forward thinking employer who doesn’t expect waitress service from office staff.

And I’ll bet the lazy cow who sits on her entitled bum expecting tea to be brought to her all day long will be spending a lot of time interviewing replacements, training them etc.And she’ll probably be surprised when they leave after all her polite hinting.

Sunny: Do you know you’re coming across as very sexist?

She's not a lazy woman, she's the manager. She gets paid more to do more demanding tasks and decision-make, and employed op to perform admin tasks and assist around the office, with an expectation that would include tea-making.

You do know that individuals can hire "private" PA firms to help out don't you. Probably not to make tea as there's a practical issue here, but you can pay someone to sort your photos out, manage your medical appointments, book your holidays...

Since when is it demeaning to do the job you are employed and paid to do? The OP is paid to make rounds of tea, among other things, the cleaners paid to clean, someone will be dealing with the post.

If you don't like it, you don't have to - move on. That's absolutely part of the job. She could be asked to bring back sandwiches every day too. As long as it's paid with petty cash or the company credit card obviously, that's ... normal. It doesn't matter if other managers don't have the same requirements!

Nowadays you'd think they'd have a machine for this ? Perhaps you could suggest one ? But if they want to pay you a decent amount h tv o make tea I would take my time get your phone out have a little browse while it's brewing etc . You must be a highly paid tea lady ! It's only temporary so just work it to suit you !

If you don't like hints, how about being proactive, grasping the nettle and asking how to know when best to make drinks?

• Regularly on an agreed schedule.
• Anytime the last cup is empty.
• wait to be asked etc

Stepping up like that, taking control, will make you feel much better about this aspect of your role. It's a way of showing that you don't like hints while still getting what your boss considers your job done

Overall, this is about the culture of the organisation, the way we do things around here. Jobs in organisations where we like the culture are usually much more enjoyable than ones where we don't.

I would have thought the Covid thing would give you a good reason to not have to make them a brew. I’m not allowed to make drinks for customers now because of it, I didn’t mind doing it as I’m not expected to, I offer. I think the hints would wind me up rather than the actual duty.

Having your assistants make the tea is a hangover from when men ruled the work place. Most enlightened companies surely don’t treat people like this anymore

This exactly, and no most decent companies do not do this.