To think I’m not the tea bitch?

[Ribrabrob]

Recently started a new job. Fairly basic administration job, although fairly well paid for the role. It’s just a temporary maternity cover role. Not really a job I enjoy or want to do but was rather desperate so took the job.

The job is okay and the people are fine, mostly quite nice. I work closely with the manger in a tiny office, the owner is based in an office nearby but regularly pops in. From the start it’s been made very clear that making tea/coffee for them both is very important in fact in my first interview I asked what was the most helpful thing the previous post holder did for the manager. The manager answered ‘oh it’s so helpful when she gets my drink for me’. I remember laughing thinking it was a joke but it wasn’t

Hints are regularly made about having a drink, at least twice before I get the hint and then I’ll offer. If I don’t offer she’ll then ask outright but always after hunting. It’s annoying, i would rather she just ask. Other people also make little remarks when they visit the office that she (manager) doesn’t seem to drink as much as when the other post holder was here! It’s so weird.

I don’t drink many hot drinks myself, usually just one in the morning and occasionally another later on so it doesn’t always enter my head to make one 🤷‍♀️ But of course I do offer when I am making.

The other day the owner was due in in about half an hour. Manager asked me to have a chat quickly and took ten minutes explaining to me how he’d like his tea and to try and have one ready for him.

Aibu to be annoyed by this or is it just a part of a basic admin role? Aibu to think I’m not the tea bitch?! Aibu to think how I make the tea really isn’t that important? I’ve worked in offices before and the CEO’s would always make drinks like everybody else!

I think it’s sexist and demeaning to expect someone to make the tea just because they’re “admin”

That makes no sense. Sexism is when you expect someone to do something because of their sex, not their position.

😂😂😂 flav are you the boss in this scenario!?

Getting up every once in a while is good for you - seriously!

Taking a 3 minute tea break every now and again will help with your productivity, stress levels etc no matter how busy and important you think you are!

This really hacks me off. I would tell them im employed as an admin not a teas maid. I'm a nursing assistant and part of our job is at suppertime to hand out tea and toast to patients on the ward, fair enough as trained nurses are normally doing their drugs at this time. The other night i was going round asking everyone if they wanted tea/ coffee and a bit of toast. A female patient who was on the phone to her daughter (she had it on speaker phone to the annoyance of other patients) shouts oh nothing for me and then back to her daughter oh its no one its just the tea lady bringing round the crappy toast. To which I replied back actually I'm the nursing assistant for tonight's nightshift. To which then I got back well you girls in the light blue tops (thats our colours nurses are darker blue)never seem to do much apart from make crap tea and coffee. So i turned back and said that's fine If your buzzer rings tonight i wont bother answering it then and then headed off to see to other patients. I really do feel for you OP you need to say something to them like well there's the kettle or swap the sugar for salt

I’m not the boss, and it doesn’t matter what you think of their exercise regime. They’re paying the wage for a service and if they don’t get the service they’re free to hire someone else. That’s the bottom line.

I really do feel for you OP you need to say something to them like well there's the kettle

People on here are mad! They’ll sack her.

OP, don’t do this. Just make the tea. Next job, maybe you’ll be more senior.

I can't believe there's 21 pages on this thread! But I'm on the fence with this one as even though I am often asked to make a tea round, my colleagues all take turns too. I'm the lowest paid member of staff in the NHS so consider myself lucky that I'm almost treated as an equal to the clinicians. But I have voted YANBU as i think in your case they are taking the piss. However I think I'd say stick with it seeing as it's temp.

It is sexist to assume the woman boss is lazy/ can’t possibly be too busy to make her own tea

It is not sexist to request that the person who is paid to make the tea makes the tea

@Mellonsprite and @Sunnymummy77 I’ll ask you the same question I asked up thread: In circumstances where one employee can be charged out to clients at £500 per hour and one employee earns that per week as the assistant, who should make the tea?

OP, don’t do this. Just make the tea. Next job, maybe you’ll be more senior

Trouble is @flaviaritt the people that progress are the people that show initiative and Get Shit Done. The people that moan about making tea are the people that later complain about Katy being promoted when she’s younger and has less tenure but was proactive and made the bloody tea.

Actually flav it DOES matter what the OP and others think of the boss’s regime.

How everyone is treated in an organisation is important. Because once you strip away titles and pay cheques they are all people with feelings, and worthy of respect.

Yes you may believe being treated like a tea slave is respectful but a lot of people disagree.

The view that an employer can treat employees however they wish so long as they don’t fall foul of employment law is very outdated.

If you don’t care about actual human feelings and happiness, then consider that it’s bad for business. A miserable workforce is an unproductive one. And high turnover is expensive.

Sunnymummy77

Of course it matters that people are treated with respect. I see no issue with respect here - hired to do something, agreed to do it, expected to do it. But no, our opinions don’t ultimately matter because - as she has said - she’s desperate for the job and they can sack her for not doing it. I’m a realist.

PegasusReturns

Probably.

@PegasusReturns, ‘no one should make the tea’ everyone should get their own, to their own schedule when they want it - problem solved. Making a drink is a 2 minute job- it’s just attending to your own personal needs, why does anyone ‘need’ anyone else to do that for them? If they’re that busy they can’t spare 2 mins to attend to their own personal needs, the standing up and walk to the kitchen would be good to prevent a DVT.

Flav it’s good to be a realist. But not to accept poor treatment. OP who works there doesn’t feel respected. And I’m glad she got opinions that weren’t just suck it up. If she’s still around that is?

Pegasus - the higher earner should make the tea!! Shocking - well most people now realise the effects of exercise and even small amounts of movement on productivity. Seriously - unless you’re a robot you can’t stare at a screen all day long and work at your best. Getting away from your desk from time to time can only improve your work. Maybe instead of 500 an hour you’ll make 600!

And the lowly assistant on a poorer wage in your scenario? Maybe she stops feeling resentful at being treated like a servant. You even offer her a tea when you make one. She goes over and above to help out because she stops silently hating your guts, and the company is even more profitable!

If they’re that busy they can’t spare 2 mins to attend to their own personal needs, the standing up and walk to the kitchen would be good to prevent a DVT.

Exactly this. Sitting at a desk all day grunting orders at your underlings is just bad for all parties involved!

I personally hate anyone to make tea for me cos I'm a fussy cow and no-one ever does it right.
I wouldn't expect anyone to make tea for me or feel offended if I got up and made myself a cuppa without asking 14 other people.
My current place of work (been here a week and a half and hate it) is like tea wars. Everyone is expected to ask everyone if they want a drink when they have one, if they don't they get moaned at (behind their backs of course)
The manager refuses to make tea but get mardy if people don't make him one in the round.
Can't be arsed, seriously! They need to grow up

I've ended up thinking its not disrespectful or demeaning to be asked to make tea, its a perfectly reasonable task for an office junior to do. The task allocation isn't what determines respect within an organisation. |Senior staff are going to have different tasks to temporary office juniors but can still be respectful.

The more serious issue is someone on a temporary contract being told by others to do their job badly or refuse to do it in a high handed way. Respect is earned not automatic; it comes from doing a job well and with good grace. The idea that a very junior member of staff is seen in some way as being above doing boring jobs or supporting others is the problem. A bit entitled. We don't all get to do exactly what we want at work.

Flav it’s good to be a realist. But not to accept poor treatment. OP who works there doesn’t feel respected. And I’m glad she got opinions that weren’t just suck it up. If she’s still around that is?

It’s up to her to raise this, if she thinks being asked to make the tea is ‘poor treatment’. Personally I’d expect her to move on if she didn’t want to do it, because that is the business need she was hired to meet, but she can say whatever she likes, of course.

@Mellonsprite

the job title is quite irrelevant, full job description vary a lot anyway, but expecting an admin assistant to make tea rounds is perfectly normal and standard

It’s really not, it’s indicative of a poor unprogressive culture.

Why?

I think it’s sexist and demeaning to expect someone to make the tea just because they’re “admin” Even if that request is coming from a woman

in my office the juniors have always been male, I can't wait to tell them that requests for them to make tea are "sexist"

You are the one looking down at "admin" and people "making tea". No one else is. It's part of the job... that was clear and accepted.

It sounds like you have a ridiculous chip on your shoulder. Someone is paid to make photocopies, answer the phone, make tea, bring tea and sandwiches to the office and/or meeting rooms, deal with the post, book taxis...

If you are so insecure and can't handle the stress, don't take that job. Many of us have dealt with junior duties when they started, or still are if they are happy with their current role. So what?

It might be part of the duties of the admin, of the office manager, of the receptionist, or the runner.. who cares. Job titles mean nothing anyway. You can have 3 "directors" in an office of 5 people!

What's next? too demeaning to employ a cleaner so the entire office is put on a rosta to deal with cleaning duties to keep it "equal"?
I am guessing you'd object to the cleaner being employed in my own house...

“Someone is paid to make photocopies, answer the phone, make tea, bring tea and sandwiches to the office and/or meeting rooms, deal with the post, book taxis...“

In this list, all things are activities that support the business except making and bringing to people (except in a meeting context).

Would you expect OP to deal to run to the post to send private parcels for her colleagues, or book a taxi for her colleagues for a non-business related trip? That is the difference. Cups of tea are not necessary for business. If you want one, you make one. The other day there was someone here saying they would hire a bad admin that makes good tea rather than the other way around 😹 absolutely ridiculous. Make your own tea!!!

Would you expect OP to deal to run to the post to send private parcels for her colleagues, or book a taxi for her colleagues for a non-business related trip? That is the difference.*

If she was hired to do that, yes, I absolutely would.

But I don’t agree that drinks in the office is comparable to a personal errand anyway. It’s something the business is providing for staff. It’s part of the office environment and a recognised staff need.

It's fine for them to want drinks, but for them to never ever return the favour is odd management. As much as it might be part of the role, it's just basic manners to offer someone else a cuppa every now and then

Flavia are you joking? Not all places provide drinks in the office, and even if they do provide the stuff to make drinks with, it doesn’t mean that the admin person is meant to make drinks for everyone. OP has been hired to do business support, and making and bringing tea for individuals outside of visitors is not business support. It really is as simple as, make your own drink, when you want it and how you want it. Admins are not there to make your personal little hot drinks day in and day out, just because you’re “too busy” or think your work is more important than theirs.

Pancakeorcrepe

I’m not joking at all. I’m aware not all workplaces do this. The OP’s does. And yes, her manager’s work is probably more important than hers, which is why she supports the manager, not the other way round.

“Respect is earned not automatic; it comes from doing a job well and with good grace”.

No. Everyone regardless of title or pay deserves respect.

The idea that you can automatically disrespect someone because of their position is utterly toxic.