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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I’m not the tea bitch?

685 replies

Ribrabrob · 11/10/2020 21:46

Recently started a new job. Fairly basic administration job, although fairly well paid for the role. It’s just a temporary maternity cover role. Not really a job I enjoy or want to do but was rather desperate so took the job.

The job is okay and the people are fine, mostly quite nice. I work closely with the manger in a tiny office, the owner is based in an office nearby but regularly pops in. From the start it’s been made very clear that making tea/coffee for them both is very important Hmm in fact in my first interview I asked what was the most helpful thing the previous post holder did for the manager. The manager answered ‘oh it’s so helpful when she gets my drink for me’. I remember laughing thinking it was a joke but it wasn’t Grin

Hints are regularly made about having a drink, at least twice before I get the hint and then I’ll offer. If I don’t offer she’ll then ask outright but always after hunting. It’s annoying, i would rather she just ask. Other people also make little remarks when they visit the office that she (manager) doesn’t seem to drink as much as when the other post holder was here! It’s so weird.

I don’t drink many hot drinks myself, usually just one in the morning and occasionally another later on so it doesn’t always enter my head to make one 🤷‍♀️ But of course I do offer when I am making.

The other day the owner was due in in about half an hour. Manager asked me to have a chat quickly and took ten minutes explaining to me how he’d like his tea and to try and have one ready for him.

Aibu to be annoyed by this or is it just a part of a basic admin role? Aibu to think I’m not the tea bitch?! Aibu to think how I make the tea really isn’t that important? I’ve worked in offices before and the CEO’s would always make drinks like everybody else!

OP posts:
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flaviaritt · 15/10/2020 13:36

It’s the act of asking someone to do something that ISN’T or SHOULDN’T be part of their job.

Shouldn’t according to some random person on the internet? What waffle.

PumpkinetChocolat · 15/10/2020 13:36

It’s the act of asking someone to do something that ISN’T or SHOULDN’T be part of their job.

well, it is.

You don't like it, don't include it in your own job descriptions when you recruit.

You are in no position to change the way others are managing their businesses and staff. That's the point, you might dislike it ,rant and complain as you wish, it has as much effect as complaining about a trainee stuck with washing hair, swiping the floor and bringing tea in a hair salon.

You are BU to translate it as "rude" or "lazy", because there's 0 difference with hospitality staff .You don't like it as part of the job, it just happens to be 🤷

Sunnymummy77 · 15/10/2020 13:42

I would love to hear an explanation of why hot drinks are essential to the running of a business? 😂😂 you all owe me a good laugh after my typo!!

And for whoever it was who said I am not important enough to decide. 😂...anyone can call themselves important on MN. We don’t know who actually does what. A lot of very self important women on here who have hours to spend on mumsnet😂 DH runs a small business. He doesn’t have time to sit on MN all day long (I hope or he can come home and help me with the baby 😂). And he has promised me he would never go and ask his admin staff to get his drink in this day and age.

flaviaritt · 15/10/2020 13:44

And he has promised me he would never go and ask his admin staff to get his drink in this day and age.

Nice of him. Still nowt to do with how other people run their businesses.

PumpkinetChocolat · 15/10/2020 13:45

anyone can call themselves important on MN

I didn't call myself important, I called YOU not important enough....
What my employers pay me for is between me and them, MN or not Wink

It's not about drinks being important, any more than popping down Starbucks is important. It's a choice.

The fact that you don't like it is irrelevant.

Sunnymummy77 · 15/10/2020 13:47

Pumpkin and flav - you are both random people’s on the internet to me too. And your opinions are equally ridiculous and irrelevant.

I’ve never claimed to be in a position to change whether people force admin staff to make tea. Just giving my opinion, like you, on an opinion board. That is what they are for.

Mellonsprite · 15/10/2020 13:49

Nice of him. Still nowt to do with how other people run their businesses.

This is a talk board for airing opinions, technically none of us have any right to tell others what to do, you have a different opinion to others that’s all.

Pegasus- None of this is FACT. It’s your opinion too. Your word is not law on this, is simply you’re idea of what you want to do. Others find it old fashioned and are pointing out your staff may be resentful as we have experienced that times have moved in. Your choice whether to accept it or not. I’m done on this now.

PegasusReturns · 15/10/2020 13:50

Plenty of time for Mumsnet though I note

I mainly work for myself these days: I have a small pool of clients whom I service alongside some NED and trustee roles.

I actually don’t drink tea 😂

Nor have I worked in any location other than my home office since March.

flaviaritt · 15/10/2020 13:50

It’s not an opinion, Sunny, it’s a fact: how I run my business (or how anyone who isn’t you does) is not up to you.

Mellonsprite · 15/10/2020 13:50

Don’t bother to point out my typos and get snide either - it was auto correct.

flaviaritt · 15/10/2020 13:53

Mellon: same. I’m not telling anyone what to do. It’s just a fact that people can run their businesses in ways you think are old-fashioned or whatever. Not really a debatable point.

This is boring now.

PegasusReturns · 15/10/2020 13:55

@Mellonsprite not sure why you’ve called me out on the fact v opinion issue, I think you intended to address someone else perhaps?

I’m very comfortable with my opinion. I’ve set up and run successful businesses. Never had an issue with staff attrition or dissatisfaction.

LemmysAceCard · 15/10/2020 13:57

I would feel sorry for whoever asks me to make a brew for them. I have never drank tea and coffee, i cannot stand the taste of them so have virtually never made any. The times i have tried to be nice and make tea for my mum or DP it has not turned out great. Too much milk, to strong, etc, and as for coffee, i dont even know how many spoonfulls to put in.

I would probably have been fired on my first day due to poor skills in brewing up.

PumpkinetChocolat · 15/10/2020 13:58

You are allowed any opinion you want. It won't change the fact that you can get the boot if you accept an admin role and refuse to make rounds of tea and you will be in the wrong.

You can't even pretend it's morally wrong when you'd be happy to accept it from someone in the catering or another department.

Grilledaubergines · 15/10/2020 14:06

I think you’re bit a bit unreasonable. During my working hours I’ll do whatever is required of me. I get paid regardless of the task. About 50% of my job is as per my job description. But I couldn’t work somewhere where my duties had limits according to a strict job description.

reiki21 · 17/10/2020 17:55

Pretty sure if you greet and groan over making some tea for people who in your own words are paying you quite generously for a temporary position you may just find your wee self 'oot on yer proverbial ear' and wishing you'd kept your mouth shut and made the damn tea. Have you thought that there may be a place for you in this organisation down the line of a more permanent nature ? With unemployment rising exponentially you are one of the few in the fortunate position of still being able to pay your bills? Honestly, I can't believe people find so many petty things to bitch about when others are in desperately dire straits ! Read some of the threads here. They would break your heart. (Well they did break mine. ) I'm lucky my husband is working from home but we've had a quite significant fall in his earnings. I'm currently looking for something I can also do from home as we both are in the vulnerable category but I am very grateful indeed that we have a wage coming in at all ? Why are you complaining about making tea ? Put on your big girls panties and see what's happening around you and be grateful for what you have. They made it clear that you would be the tea lady at interview and if that was going to be against all you stand for then you should have clarified your position at the time. I suspect someone else would be doing your job.

KatherineJaneway · 17/10/2020 19:53

I would feel sorry for whoever asks me to make a brew for them. I have never drank tea and coffee, i cannot stand the taste of them so have virtually never made any. The times i have tried to be nice and make tea for my mum or DP it has not turned out great. Too much milk, to strong, etc, and as for coffee, i dont even know how many spoonfulls to put in.

So you'd be the same with any task asked of you in a new job? You'd never done it before so couldn't give a shit if you do it really badly?

ohnothisagain · 18/10/2020 12:07

This thread makes it very clear why most good (very well paid permanent) PAs have a hospitality background. Hospitality is an essential part of many admin jobs, and feeling “too good for it” certainly doesn’t endear you to anyone. There are temps you loath to see go (and bend over backwards to find a position), and some you can’t wait to see the back of.

PumpkinetChocolat · 18/10/2020 12:21

so true. and when you see how many top PA move on to EA or full management senior roles, you easily understand why some people earn top salaries, and others don't.

Unhomme · 18/10/2020 12:24

"I would suggest to everyone to ask new starters to make rounds of tea, at least for the first 2-3 weeks of their probation, even if you never ask them again later on, That should make it easier to get rid of the ones with attitude"

This.

ohnothisagain · 18/10/2020 13:09

I would feel sorry for whoever asks me to make a brew for them. I have never drank tea and coffee, i cannot stand the taste of them so have virtually never made any. The times i have tried to be nice and make tea for my mum or DP it has not turned out great. Too much milk, to strong, etc, and as for coffee, i dont even know how many spoonfulls to put in.
Then you ask and you learn....

VamosAhora · 18/10/2020 13:09

Most PAs don't have a 'hospitality background' unless they actually work in the hospitality industry. Assuming a PA/admin will make tea and coffee for internal staff without anyone ever returning the favour is hugely old fashioned- It's different if making drinks for external visitors.

LemmysAceCard · 18/10/2020 13:16

@KatherineJaneway

I would feel sorry for whoever asks me to make a brew for them. I have never drank tea and coffee, i cannot stand the taste of them so have virtually never made any. The times i have tried to be nice and make tea for my mum or DP it has not turned out great. Too much milk, to strong, etc, and as for coffee, i dont even know how many spoonfulls to put in.

So you'd be the same with any task asked of you in a new job? You'd never done it before so couldn't give a shit if you do it really badly?

What the hell is your post about? I can’t make tea or coffee I am useless at it, and as I said I would probably have been sacked.

Please highlight the bit where I said I don’t give a shit. Stop making shit up you sound like a prick.

shinynewapple2020 · 18/10/2020 13:16

When I first started work in the 1980s this was most definitely an important part of a junior admin role !! I've also worked as a PA where making drinks for my manager and any guests was an expected part of the role

It's certainly not the case where I work now , nor has it been for around 20 odd years, but that may be the environment I work in , rather than what is normal in other kinds of employers

I think the fact that this was mentioned on interview suggests that it is part of your role though, even though it seems really old fashioned to me .

LemmysAceCard · 18/10/2020 13:18

@ohnothisagain

I would feel sorry for whoever asks me to make a brew for them. I have never drank tea and coffee, i cannot stand the taste of them so have virtually never made any. The times i have tried to be nice and make tea for my mum or DP it has not turned out great. Too much milk, to strong, etc, and as for coffee, i dont even know how many spoonfulls to put in. Then you ask and you learn....
No, I won’t thank you. My bosses make their own so I don’t need to learn. And at nearly 50 I am not going to bloody learn thanks.
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