To think I’m not the tea bitch?

[Ribrabrob]

Recently started a new job. Fairly basic administration job, although fairly well paid for the role. It’s just a temporary maternity cover role. Not really a job I enjoy or want to do but was rather desperate so took the job.

The job is okay and the people are fine, mostly quite nice. I work closely with the manger in a tiny office, the owner is based in an office nearby but regularly pops in. From the start it’s been made very clear that making tea/coffee for them both is very important in fact in my first interview I asked what was the most helpful thing the previous post holder did for the manager. The manager answered ‘oh it’s so helpful when she gets my drink for me’. I remember laughing thinking it was a joke but it wasn’t

Hints are regularly made about having a drink, at least twice before I get the hint and then I’ll offer. If I don’t offer she’ll then ask outright but always after hunting. It’s annoying, i would rather she just ask. Other people also make little remarks when they visit the office that she (manager) doesn’t seem to drink as much as when the other post holder was here! It’s so weird.

I don’t drink many hot drinks myself, usually just one in the morning and occasionally another later on so it doesn’t always enter my head to make one 🤷‍♀️ But of course I do offer when I am making.

The other day the owner was due in in about half an hour. Manager asked me to have a chat quickly and took ten minutes explaining to me how he’d like his tea and to try and have one ready for him.

Aibu to be annoyed by this or is it just a part of a basic admin role? Aibu to think I’m not the tea bitch?! Aibu to think how I make the tea really isn’t that important? I’ve worked in offices before and the CEO’s would always make drinks like everybody else!

I'm in the make bad tea camp.

At least you haven't been put in charge of the coffee float like muggins here

I have to admit this rather took me aback. Maybe because I'm not in the UK and things are different there but I'm really surprised that in this day and age anyone expects their 'underlings' to make them tea or coffee. OK, maybe an exception for a really high powered CEO or a celebrity. But not in a 'run of the mill' office.

One of the first things I was told by HR when I was hired for an admin position 40 years + ago was "It is NOT your job to run and fetch coffee for your higher ups. That is NOT what we pay you to do". Now, 40+ years ago I think it may have had as much to do with sexism as anything else as I was young and female and most of the 'higher ups' were male and older.

Can you not just purchase one of them plain white cups for her that say on the bottom 'I'm a test'.

'I'm a twat'*
Thank you for the auto correction iPhone.

Gobsmacked at the number of people saying this is fine - why the f*ck doesn't everyone make their own drink or have a rota?

It's not admin at all. Can you see a man being asked to make tea for the "managers"? it's ridiculously old fashioned and not recognising that everyone contributes to the success of a business.

Just exploit the pandemic and say you're not comfortable touching things others drink from.

Can't believe no one else has suggested this!

Fannies away the time!

Hmm, I don't think it's too unreasonable to make the owner a cup of tea if asked directly tbh.

I'd just bring in a bottle of something cold and not drink any hot drinks while at work I think.

Could you say with Covid advice it probably isn’t a good idea to touch lots of different people’s mugs?

You've got to love the English. I'm just gob smacked at the 'just do it badly' comments. Is that really how you perform your jobs?

Now, this is just a suggestion, and I'm hoping I'm not going to cause a massive culture shift here, but have you not considered talking with the woman?

Can you just not say to her, if she wants a drink, can she just say, please get me a drink? Let her know you understand the duties of the position, and you would prefer it if she just asked for a coffee/tea whatever.

Next time take in the tray with the tea and a bog roll and when the boss asks says it’s to wipe his entitled lazy arse.

Then punch him in the kisser.

YABU because it's been clear from the very start that they hired you partially to be the tea-bitch.

So either get another job if you don't like it, or accept it and start pre-empting the hinting.

@draughtycatflap yeah because I’m sure that’s exactly what you would do if you was asked to do something by your boss 🤔🤔

I had a boss like that, I just used to think I was a very well paid tea lady and what a wally he was to pay me for making tea. Sometimes he wanted something from a local shop and I'd have a wander round town and tell him there was a huge queue in the shop. Still annoyed me but I just made the best of it.

During a pandemic I dont think you should be making colleagues tea! My colleagues and I have stopped making each other tea during this time. Otherwise its nice to make the effort sometimes but similarly a bit rude of her to just expect it

Just to add they did make me permanent and I stopped making the tea.

YANBU to be annoyed OP; this would absolutely drive me mad too. But, like others have said, take your time making the drinks - you're literally being paid to stick the kettle on! Or just start making really crappy teas. They'll soon stop asking

Don't really understand why you'd have a problem doing it tbh. What does it matter if the task you're being paid for is filing, typing or tea making? They've made it clear in the interview that the number one most important part of the role is the tea! You shouldn't have taken the job if you had a problem. Seems a bit churlish when people are losing their jobs from covid to moan about this.

I must be very good at making tea as I’ve been given this role in several of my jobs, and as a pp pointed out, none of my equivalent male colleagues were ever asked to. One of my ex-managers who used to drop massive hints for me to make tea really enjoyed milky weak tea as well so making ‘bad tea’ wouldn’t have worked for him! In some circles it still seems desirable to have a smiling woman coming in to a meeting room with a tray laden with tea and biscuits. I hated it and hated how it was seen as my ‘thing’.

Good luck finding something else OP

It's not rude of the manager to expect tea-making - it was made clear from the start it was part of the expectations they had for the person in OP's role.

Get over yourself. Its a!ways the most junior persons job to make the tea. Male or female.

@Sparklesocks

Could you say with Covid advice it probably isn’t a good idea to touch lots of different people’s mugs?

I agree.

We have all been making our own drinks for months. It was implemented on the first day we went back.

Yes it’s shit this is still going on but do it badly or not at all if you don’t want to keep the job. Otherwise smile and do it with as much good grace as you can muster.

When my boss decided to do away with cleaners a rota was set up so "everyone" had to do some cleaning. I looked at the rota and said it would be interesting when we got to a tribunal as there were no men on the rota. It was snatched out of my hands and ripped up and the cleaners job was saved.

At least you were warned. My first job evolved into me being the tea bitch for the entire office and I hated it. At first we'd take turns but I ended up being bullied by the rest of them and tea making was part of it. I'd get called by one of the others to make sure I hadn't them her.

The consequence of all that is that I have huge problems making hot drinks for colleagues now.