To think I’m not the tea bitch?

[Ribrabrob]

Recently started a new job. Fairly basic administration job, although fairly well paid for the role. It’s just a temporary maternity cover role. Not really a job I enjoy or want to do but was rather desperate so took the job.

The job is okay and the people are fine, mostly quite nice. I work closely with the manger in a tiny office, the owner is based in an office nearby but regularly pops in. From the start it’s been made very clear that making tea/coffee for them both is very important in fact in my first interview I asked what was the most helpful thing the previous post holder did for the manager. The manager answered ‘oh it’s so helpful when she gets my drink for me’. I remember laughing thinking it was a joke but it wasn’t

Hints are regularly made about having a drink, at least twice before I get the hint and then I’ll offer. If I don’t offer she’ll then ask outright but always after hunting. It’s annoying, i would rather she just ask. Other people also make little remarks when they visit the office that she (manager) doesn’t seem to drink as much as when the other post holder was here! It’s so weird.

I don’t drink many hot drinks myself, usually just one in the morning and occasionally another later on so it doesn’t always enter my head to make one 🤷‍♀️ But of course I do offer when I am making.

The other day the owner was due in in about half an hour. Manager asked me to have a chat quickly and took ten minutes explaining to me how he’d like his tea and to try and have one ready for him.

Aibu to be annoyed by this or is it just a part of a basic admin role? Aibu to think I’m not the tea bitch?! Aibu to think how I make the tea really isn’t that important? I’ve worked in offices before and the CEO’s would always make drinks like everybody else!

It’s not the act of making tea that’s degrading obviously. It’s having to stop what she’s doing whenever this women clicks her fingers, just to make this women’s life a little more pleasant.

Her boss is sending her a message that she’s so beneath her, every time she feels like a drink OP has to jump and do it 😩

Having a nice drink is a personal luxury. Like having your nails painted, or having a massage, or Having someone cook you a nice meal.

There’s nothing degrading about painting nails, being a masseuse or a chef, but no boss (surely!?) would dream of asking an office assistant to do any of the above.

Having your assistants make the tea is a hangover from when men ruled the work place. Most enlightened companies surely don’t treat people like this anymore.

Her boss is sending her a message that she’s so beneath her, every time she feels like a drink OP has to jump and do it 😩

She is paying for exactly that. Nobody is being forced. The tasks aren’t inherently degrading. If you take a job and end up doing what they told you it would involve during the interview, I cannot remotely see the problem. Just sounds like someone thinking they’re too good for a junior position to me.

Also - seriously being too sedentary is a killer! It’s in her bosses’ favour to stop being a lazy cow and make a couple of drinks herself!

It’s in her bosses’ favour to stop being a lazy cow and make a couple of drinks herself!

And? It’s not the admin’s job to tell her how to run her company. It’s the admin’s job to make the tea, as was made clear at the interview.

Let’s forget the “made clear in interview” bit for a second.

Because if you were really struggling to make ends meet you would agree to a lot in an interview. Doesn’t make it ok.

Genuine question - why is it an office worker’s job to make tea?

It’s accepted that it is inappropriate to ask staff to carry out other tasks that don’t actually relate to the running of the business, right?

I mean most people just wouldn’t ask staff lower in the food chain to, I don’t know, clean their iPhone, make them a sandwich, Shine shoes and get them dressed before meeting, peel a piece of fruit, clean up a drink they’ve spilled etc... all stuff that they might do themselves in the office. And all stuff that would save time.

But when it comes to making drinks some people see this as part of office work.

Back in the day when men ruled the workplace apparently women were also often told to come in early or later to clean! Thank god this tradition has died down!

It doesn’t matter why the manager wants someone in the office to make tea. They do, the OP knew this, she’s being properly paid, it’s not some sort of weird abuse. If she doesn’t like it, she should leave. This is the most whiny rubbish I have ever heard.

And that’s me done for the evening.

Yeah, no. Making tea is a reasonable admin duty. Shining shoes and peeling fruit aren't. Though you could imagine hiring someone to do both those things - and it would be perfectly fine if you did.

She CANT leave though can she. Because she needs the money.

I bet all the old fashioned men who used to make female office workers do the cleaning used to say “if they don’t like it they can leave” too.

Honestly think some people on here would think Victorian workhouses were completely fine.

I mean they’re poor. They need money. They should just do what they’re told or go somewhere else fgs.

And no I’m not comparing making tea to being in a workhouse. Just hate this attitude of “me higher in food chain. You need money. You do whatever I want”.

Some people can’t wait to have a tiny little bit of power to abuse.

Some people can’t wait to have a tiny little bit of power to abuse

How is it an abuse of power to hire someone to perform duties that include making tea?

Miss Lucy see above 😀 I’m done for the night too.

I’d make the tea as you were told about it in your interview. What’s the big deal? You’re lucky to have a job in this current economic climate. You sound far too precious and think the task is demeaning. Sorry but I think you are far too wrapped up in yourself.

At my workplace, since Covid, everyone has to make their own drinks. It's bloody bliss.

When I first started as an administrator assistant in the Civil Service, lower grades were expected to make tea for the whole office. Mid morning & mid afternoon, any other time staff made their own drinks. In the morning some staff liked coffee & we had to warm up a massive pan of milk ( this was before microwaves) we had a district Inspector who was terrible to work with, a couple of the administrative were rumoured to have spat in his morning coffee (not me) After a few years the whole admin staff revolted & refused to do the drinks run, this caused uproar, it was mentioned that this was how it had always been done, the admins had calculated that it took the equivalent time of one full admin per week to make & deliver drinks to the whole office of 200 staff. Within a week staff were told to make their own drinks.

If you are responsible for having to buy the tea & coffee, buy the cheapest, nastiest stuff for them & small jars of good stuff for yourself. Serve them with a smile, hopefully they will make their own before too long.

It’s making tea.... you’re basic admin.... get over it. You’re being paid do wtf is the problem. As long as they ask, say please and thank you, just do it.

Always make a bad cup, even if they start trying to train you how to make a good cup of tea, just keep getting it wrong. They'll eventually get the message.

Exceptionally poor advice. This unprofessional attitude will get you let go.

Genuine question - why is it an office worker’s job to make tea?

Because sometimes it is. You have a board member in back to back meetings all day, most days it is likely their PA gets their drinks and probably lunch too. Some jobs have that level of support. I knew an EA earning £50k who'd get drinks, lunch and sometimes even breakfast for her boss. Her view was they pay the board member a huge amount to do their job so its better they get on with that and she gets them a coffee.

I always done admin and PA work and always made drinks for bosses. Feel its like part of my job as well as admin to look after them. They are always busy with meetings and a drink in between always gratefully received. I gone to costa and get lunches for people too. I always ask the people pre lockdown who go in to meetings with them too if they want one. One person said a drink made their day when so busy rushing about a big building to diff meetings. A lot did say no as had water etc. I do work with one PA who thinks its below her. I suppose i am lucky that all people work for dont expect it and are polite and never ask me direct unless desperate.

And no I’m not comparing making tea to being in a workhouse. Just hate this attitude of “me higher in food chain. You need money. You do whatever I want”.

You hate reality. There are laws preventing workplace abuse and bullying. Aside from those, yes, you do what your boss hires you to do. That’s how “I pay you, here are your duties” works. I get it, you’d prefer everyone to be the same. But they’re not.

😂 I don’t hate reality.

People may not be equal in that some jobs pay more and are more important. But every single employee deserves to be treated with respect.

There’s a world of different between a busy executive rushing between meetings who wants the odd drink to keep going, and an entitled women in a small office hinting at how thirsty she is constantly as OP described. Latter is on a power trip and should treat her staff with more respect.

For what it’s worth I’ve been on both sides of the coin. When I was really busy doing a difficult professional job I would never have asked the admin staff to make me a drink. And when I was lower down the best bosses were definitely the “only get me one if you’re making it yourself type”.

Surely if he manager was "on a power trip", she wouldn't hint, she'd just say or she'd be sharp with the op about it. The hinting suggests she is trying to prompt op without throwing her weight around.

But every single employee deserves to be treated with respect.

She is treated with respect. Nobody is saying, “Oi, fuckface, get the fucking tea.” It’s what she was hired to do and they are politely asking her to do it.

As for “entitled woman”, I don’t know where to start. Yes, she is entitled. Entitled to hire someone, make their duties clear and expect them to do it, or leave.

Complete power trip YANBU
In the 80s I was the Fruit n Fibre bitch! Doesn't seem like things have moved on

Think some of us will have to just agree to disagree!

But to me , the hinting is a power trip thing as it’s kind of taking the p1ss out of OP “I’m so thirsty haha, where’s my drink”. Not cool.

Personally I think a clear “please can you get me a drink. I’m too busy right now to do myself” would be way more respectful. And maybe she could even offer to make OP one once in a while too - just to show a tiny bit of kindness.

And yes - I’m this day and age demanding that your office staff fetch you drinks all day long at click of a finger is entitled. EVEN if you pay them to do it and EVEN if they accepted because they need the money.