To not think watching my husband push the toddler on the swings is family time.

[uisage]

We had a wee walk earlier which culminated in the park around the corner (2 mins from my house at toddler speed). I said to my husband I would go home and do something useful with my time, and DH got upset because he wanted to spend some time as a family.

Watching a 2yo being pushed on the swings (DS requires at least half an hour, he really loves the swings) isn't really quality family time in my opinion.

It's boring enough pushing a swing for half an hour (and I have done a lot of that since the parks reopened), let alone watching someone else push.

I went home, did some tidying and then read some of my book.

Wibu?

@keeprocking

Then what is your definition of 'family time'? If the post were from a woman whose partner left her ta the swings to go and watch the Grand Prix would you be supporting him? Poor man!

This x1000. Joint swing pushing time. You all sound wet.

I think that if I was in the park with my husband and our niece and he decided to go home and suit himself because he was bored, I wouldn’t be happy about it.

Oh diddums for the man, having to push the toddler on the swings for half an hour on his own.
Of course you weren't unreasonable, and I'm so glad my days of doing that are over!

Put yourself in his shoes and ask yourself how you would've felt if he'd have sodded off home to tidy up a bit and read a book. YABU

Yabu

@supersonicginandtonic

There you are Prize for being the most smugly annoying poster on this thread.

I'm with your hubby on this one, YABU. You seem not to enjoy the idea of not being with either your hubby or DC which is strange. How would you react if he bunked out part way through doing something you wanted to share with him and the family?
I understand that alone time is precious especially during Covid times but there is certainly a better more reasonable way of accomplishing this than walking off from them going to the park.

@GabsAlot

youve asked the wrong aibu op

it should be why cant my dh give me a half hour break from looking after our ds all week

Yes, exactly this.

I didn’t think you WNBU until your second post.

Have a conversation with your dh, make sure you get a break every now and again.

Also, try not to mind all the leaf rubbers on the thread. Swings are dead boring.

The ‘swings’ is a poor substitute for family time. He just does not want to parent on his home. Spect he’ll need a lie down when he gets back too.

I agree it's pretty boring watching a toddler being pushed on a swing. I think you were a bit cheeky and selfish to go home though.

this is exactly my problem - my husband isn't used to having DH alone. Even if he's supoosed to have him, I get shouted for all the time. He calls me if DS has done a particularly large poo, for example, because it's easier to change with 2 people there.

I hope you’re telling him no OP?

Oh my God all the people posting without having read OP’s second post is really annoying! They’re defending a learned helpless knobhead!

why did you have kids?

Who invented 'family time' as a thing? They should be shot! (I bet you've clocked up more hours of swing-pushing than your husband!)

You ask whether urbu. For me that would depend on whether you get as much break time as your dh. If you do, then it seems a shame not to hang out together at the park when you get the chance, enjoying your son's fun time together. If your dh gets time to do his own thing, away from his work and child centred things and you do not, then I think it would be reasonable of you to expect a little time to yourself while dh entertains your son.

I have never, ever seen a family at the park.

I live across the road from the park. It is right outside the room where I work from home so I’m pretty much looking out at it all day. I rarely see a family there. Most often there are mums, occasionally there are dads, I can’t remember the last time I saw a family.

Yesterday we went to a farm park and then for food at a child friendly pub, today we went for a long walk, leaf and chestnut picking, then did leaf rubbings and had a Sunday roast.

Ooh, well wasn’t that just smashing. Jolly good for you all, were there lashings of ginger beer?

Yesterday I sent my husband out for a walk with my daughter after lunch because her incessant wittering was really getting on my nerves and she hadn’t stopped since she got up at 7am. I spent the time playing a game on my computer. It was lovely.

Because being a parent does not have to take up every waking minute of your day and just sometimes you need some time to yourself to do something that isn’t just for someone else. And it doesn’t make you a bad parent or a bad person to be that way.

I think it depends...you say you are on your own with DC all the time. I can see why you want some alone time with a book.

If you don’t get much time together with DC, maybe you could have stayed...it’s a nice thing to do together.

I don’t think either one of you are right or wrong. I wouldn’t worry too much about it though, your DC isn’t going to be scarred by it.

Perfectly reasonable
Sometimes I take the kids out
Sometimes dh does
Every weekend we at least go out together once.
Sometimes in town 1 person takes the kids to park allowing other to buy something from shop or run an errand. Sometimes 1 parent takes the kids out for a walk, like walking 2 hyperactive dogs, so the other person can have a little peace or prep Sunday lunch.

We dont necessarily split the childcare 50/50, we both work full time but different stress levels and hours through different periods.

Also, park isnt everyone's cup of tea, just like my DH doesnt like to read or draw but I do. So I do alot of reading stories and drawing with kids without DH but the playground is tiresome. Similarly, I don't enjoy swimming with kids (I love lane swimming alone). I do take them, on my own, and yes it is a bloody chore. I get so bored I start holding my breath under water. You can find some activities a chore and love your children, you know. I refuse to do is childrens arts and crafts, I hate it with a passion. I do baking with kids and DH doesnt. DH does trampoline, horse play and board games, i don't.

For us 'family time' = trips e.g. national trust, town, meals, walks, movie together, horsing around at bedtime or weekend mornings, or simply some moments when we share a joke.

Before you look around you will be pushing your grandchild on the swings...trust me, take in every second with your child, it passes in the blink of an eye...

@supersonicginandtonic

Aww your poor little boy. I bet your one of those mums who sits on her phone, rather than play with her kids.

Yesterday we went to a farm park and then for food at a child friendly pub, today we went for a long walk, leaf and chestnut picking, then did leaf rubbings and had a Sunday roast.

Of course i would have loved to have more me time and read a book but I chose to be a mum so family time it is.

Yes but perhaps OP doesn't have a nanny for throughout the week like you do for little Hermia and Achilles. Leaf drawings and searching for chestnuts can get a little dull when you do them every single day of the week, darling.

@lljkk

I am curious what OP considers quality family time if hanging out pushing child on swings isn't it.

You're more succinct than me. Some people aren't so lucky to have a DP that likes family time. Treasure it OP. Don't spoil it ♥️

God I agree, I can never get anything done because the kids are always here and then we all have to go out for fucking family time.

these are children you chose to have, right?

@Hopoindown31 - you seem to have weirdly confused me with somebody you actually know.

@Monty27 -
Some people aren't so lucky to have a DP that likes family time. Treasure it OP. Don't spoil it

Good grief. What a low bar to set. It's not 'lucky' that a man agrees to spend time with his wife and child. It's a most basic expectation.