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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask is anybody truly happy with their lives?

156 replies

Friedbanana · 09/10/2020 18:53

(Before covid too) I just sometimes really wonder if anyone is truly happy as everyone around me seems to have so many struggles/stresses, and the general state of the world is so helpless with global warming, hunger, backwards politics etc.. I’ve had this mindset before covid but obviously things are even worse now for many..
I’ve always wanted children at some point in the future (I’m only mid twenties) but sometimes I wonder whether I want to bring a child into this world in the state it’s currently in :(

So yes, just asking if anyone is truly content, and maybe if you are could you give some background eg work/family situation etc. And what you think has contributed to your content life!

OP posts:
Plmoknijb123 · 09/10/2020 18:57

I am! Because I’ve basically achieved everything I want from life. That’s not to say I don’t want to achieve more, but I am completely contented with what I have and very fulfilled. I came from a poor background and graduated from an excellent uni in a challenging course. Have a great career, have a truly wonderful husband who supports me in every way. I have sufficient money and savings now and am on track to fund a comfortable retirement for myself. I also had a child which I always wanted and she is an absolute dream. I really want for nothing.

Plmoknijb123 · 09/10/2020 18:59

I think the main contributors to my happiness are definitely getting a good job/career and meeting my husband. Having an amazing partner truly changed my life.

ComicePear · 09/10/2020 19:05

Me! I'm happily married with a lovely DH and three amazing DC. I have a job I find interesting and rewarding, and I work part time (three days a week) so I have a good work life balance.

Perhaps more importantly, I'm a natural optimist and have a generally positive outlook on life.

I do feel concerned about climate change etc, but on a day to day basis I am very happy.

ScrapThatThen · 09/10/2020 19:06

Yes, I hit the jackpot of a happy childhood and good health. On that basis I have been able to build a fulfilling and happy life. There is a lot of hardship in the world.

Catnuzzle · 09/10/2020 19:09

No. I've realised recently i'm probably autistic (DD2 has been diagnosed this year) which explains my anxiety and depression. I have a wonderful DH, 2 amazing DDs but it all seems pretty pointless really.

Leaannb · 09/10/2020 19:11

Me. Been happily married for 25 years with 4 kids and 1 grandchild. Retired from 1 career, started a second. Just living the life

KetoPenguin · 09/10/2020 19:11

Not 100% happy in life, but it's Friday I have the weekend off, I've just eaten a mince pie and my dog is cuddling up on my lap so I am pretty happy with right now.

CrappleUmble · 09/10/2020 19:11

I'm pretty happy!

pigcon1 · 09/10/2020 19:16

I’m pretty happy. Life is not perfect but regardless of pressures we are ok.

FrothyB · 09/10/2020 19:17

The World will do what the world is going to do, as it always has done. Regardless of how the future looks, we're living in possibly the best time of human history right now. People have always suffered, unfairly and without sense or reason. People have also always endured, they've lived, they've found happiness even if the darkest times.

If the world is to take a step backwards, all you can do is try and make sure you and your family/children are ready for it in whatever way you can.

I'm generally happy in my life. My job is just a job, my house isn't anything special, so I often get serious house/wealth envy. I am lucky though, I have a brilliant partner, I have a daughter who is my world, we have our dog. We're not wealthy, we're not even really comfortable, but we don't worry about the "small things". I think the ability to let things wash over you is something that's useful in becoming content.

DynamoKev · 09/10/2020 19:18

Happy being grumpy thanks for asking

pigcon1 · 09/10/2020 19:20

@FrothyB

I think the ability to let things wash over you is something that's useful in becoming content.

This works for me.

Louise000000 · 09/10/2020 19:24

I feel happy in my own skin, there are life stresses and struggles for sure and things I want and want to achieve but I am content with who I am mid 30s and I was no where near this in my 20s, insecure, put myself down alot etc
I left my dh last year and feel like I'm finally being true to myself after years of living in my head and living in fantasy!!

Emancipated · 09/10/2020 19:27

No. Childhood trauma, cripplingly low self esteem and poor mental health contribute to me spending most of my time worrying about the future, regretting past decisions and generally feeling like life is just so fucking hard.
Anti depressants help but rarely raise me into the happy category.
Despite the fact I have so so many good and lovely things in life.
I wish I was more optimistic and resilient and just generally more content.

riotlady · 09/10/2020 19:27

Yes! Lockdown and ill health are grinding me down a bit currently but prior to this yes, I was very happy with my life. I had a miserable childhood, teens and early twenties- abuse, rape, bullying, severe mental health issues, the works. I had a breakdown and tried to kill myself age 21 and spent a few years after that in treatment and finally starting to heal.

During this process I met my partner, we were friends (occasionally with benefits) for about a year. One day he confessed his feelings to me while he was staying at my house and he just never went home lol. A few months later I found out I was pregnant with DD and she just lit up our lives. I started a masters at university to train in a health profession and I love it and I’m doing really well. I have a small group of very close friends who live nearby and we support each other through everything.

It’s not all easy- I’m a student and DP is on minimum wage so we don’t have much money. But we have a lot of love and a lot of fun.

The two common themes I always see on these threads are

  1. Being grateful for what you have (which is why it’s often people who’ve been through trauma and hard times saying they’re happy with their lives now)
  2. Enjoying the little things
Louise000000 · 09/10/2020 19:30

This always resonates with me

To ask is anybody truly happy with their lives?
AuldFox · 09/10/2020 19:30

I’m quite happy. I’m also in my forties with no health issues, a fantastic family and no money worries. I’m not sure I’d like to be a young person starting out independently now. I think it’s going to be much harder for them compared to several decades ago. Whereas I had an easier time and better quality of life compared to my parents. I’m a bit sad on my children’s behalf to be honest.

BewilderedDoughnut · 09/10/2020 19:32

My life, even during this pandemic is pure bliss. I attribute that largely to the fact that my husband and I are childfree (by choice). No matter what happens in life, no matter how horrible, it’s MILES easier without having kids to worry about.

We’re a great team. Best friends. We laugh constantly. Hang out. Long, lazy days eating snacks and watching movies. Prior to lockdown we used to travel all the time.

Bad things still happen to us but we’re a team against the world with next to no responsibilities.

hilariousnamehere · 09/10/2020 19:33

Yes, me :) and the main reasons are self employment in a creative industry I love, and staying single and childfree, much to my younger self's surprise! (Always knew I didn't want children and wanted to work for myself, had no idea I'd find my greatest happiness on my own)

My cats and my friends play a massive part in my everyday contentment, I'm close to my Mum and although I miss my Dad I know he'd be proud of the life I've built.

Ridiculous things that also contribute - living near the sea, I had a little sports car for years which made me happy every single time I drove her, and I'm currently looking at getting a kayak so I can go and play on the water.

daisychain1620 · 09/10/2020 19:35

I'm happy, I'm easy pleased and very low maintenance! I'm grateful for my health, family, few good friends and enough money to not have to stress at the end of every month. I'm no means rich but I don't feel I need much. I think if you're happy and content with what you have then anything extra that comes along is a bonus

BlueThistles · 09/10/2020 19:36

Yes💕

Sparklyring · 09/10/2020 19:40

I am! Incredible marriage, wonderful family and friends, job I love and beautiful home.

uglyface · 09/10/2020 19:41

I have a brilliant partner, a hard won through IVF toddler who we adore and we are ok financially. I love my job, even at the moment (teacher) and we have plenty of family and friends around.

I’m so happy that I often cry at the thought of time passing, and my partner (he’s older than me) and daughter getting older.

flossletsfloss · 09/10/2020 19:46

Omg yes. I am deep down truly happy. I have struggles and worries but I am honestly content.

ssd · 09/10/2020 19:48

@flossletsfloss

Omg yes. I am deep down truly happy. I have struggles and worries but I am honestly content.
That's me too.

If only I didn't worry so much. Its my default setting.