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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask is anybody truly happy with their lives?

156 replies

Friedbanana · 09/10/2020 18:53

(Before covid too) I just sometimes really wonder if anyone is truly happy as everyone around me seems to have so many struggles/stresses, and the general state of the world is so helpless with global warming, hunger, backwards politics etc.. I’ve had this mindset before covid but obviously things are even worse now for many..
I’ve always wanted children at some point in the future (I’m only mid twenties) but sometimes I wonder whether I want to bring a child into this world in the state it’s currently in :(

So yes, just asking if anyone is truly content, and maybe if you are could you give some background eg work/family situation etc. And what you think has contributed to your content life!

OP posts:
Aldilogue · 09/10/2020 21:29

Tobythecat I’m so sorry you feel like you do. There is always someone that cares FlowersFlowers

NancyBotwinBloom · 09/10/2020 21:38

I'm happy but I'm a worrier.

I ruin my happiness by worrying about what will go wrong.

OhTheRoses · 09/10/2020 21:38

I am cheerful.
I have a lovely husband and two wonderful children. We have two wonderful homes one in the UK; one in France. We want for nothing.
23 years ago DS 2 died in my arms shortly after being born.
A little bit of me died with him and although I have much to be grateful for and much to be happy about, true joy left me that day.

Flackattack · 09/10/2020 21:41

Happiness is the gap between expectations and reality - get them aligned - get happy Smile

Holothane · 09/10/2020 21:47

I’m jumping for joy because after a and e yesterday for gyne problem long story two years worth, I’ve a scan on the 16th next week, I’m thrilled because hopefully I’ll get answers and finally get the hysterectomy I’ve asked for for months, in pain again tonight but next Friday gives me hope, also for me it’s a good omen I celebrate that day as the date is very special to me in my love of medical history. So yes tonight I’m very content.

Lavanderrose · 09/10/2020 21:57

Life seems quite pointless sometimes which gets me down. I sometimes feel lonely and spend large amounts of time sitting in front of the TV.

MuchTooTired · 09/10/2020 21:58

I think so, yes. I’ve got the usual worries, but feel I’m generally very lucky and blessed. Bad things happen but they’ll pass soon enough. I think it’s the little things that bring me happiness - my toddler DD who can’t sleep is sat on the sofa with me and patted the seat for me to scoot over and sit next to her.

I try not to think too much about all the bad things out there as I find it overwhelming (I have ocd, depression and anxiety) and focus more on my little world that I can manage/control. I try to squirrel as much money away as I can for the DC as I suspect they’ll really need it when they reach adulthood.

Between now and the end of the world though I’ll keep enjoying the little things in life!

Emmapeeler2 · 09/10/2020 21:59

I am happy but I wasn't in my twenties OP as life felt so uncertain, and I think that's common. The future is scary and I do what I can but we still live in a wonderful world.

Ellapaella · 09/10/2020 22:07

I think happiness is a transient emotion but I would describe myself as content and optimistic. I have always been a glass half full kind of person and look for the positive and good in every situation.
I have a happy marriage, my children all seem to be content and thriving. I have a job I enjoy. I feel blessed. If any of my children had health problems or were unhappy then I expect I would feel differently.
This last year hasn't been great - we've had a family bereavement, I had a health concern which lead to having to have fairly major intervention, Covid meant my husband and I were both redeployed front line NHS and have seen some awful things and had some tough times at work. But I still feel fundamentally happy and content with my life. I have emerged form a health scare intact, my children and immediate family are healthy and seem content with life. I couldn't ask for more.
Since Covid I have been living in the moment more than ever, just taking life one day at a time.

Onxob · 09/10/2020 22:07

Ah... I knew I shouldn't have read this!

My marriage is not happy. I hate where I live and he will not even contemplate moving. So as it stands I've got a plan in place that will allow me to move back to my beautiful hometown by the sea - but it will take 18months to achieve this and will mean I become a much worse off (financially) single mum of two. Sad I can't believe my life is turning out this way. I always had such high hopes for my future...

I have been content in the past and I thing it mostly boils down to the quality of your relationships - be that romantic relationships/family/friends and being engaged in something that meaningful to you - for me that was my job which I was persuaded to leave to indulge my husband's ambitions. Follow your own path OP and don't compromise when it comes to romantic partners!

Ellapaella · 09/10/2020 22:10

@j712adrian that's lovely. My husbands Mum died unexpectedly this year - he has had so much comfort from the fact that he always felt so utterly loved and that he couldn't have asked for a better mum. What an amazing legacy to leave behind.

CoalCraft · 09/10/2020 22:10

I mean I could think of improvements... Like magically not having to work and instead devoting my life to the extremely expensive passion that is horses.

But on the whole I'm happy. I have a job I'm content with, a husband who I just adore, friends that I really gel with, a supportive family, a much wanted baby on the way, enough money that I don't need to stress about it... I'd have to be an awfully ungrateful sod not to be happy with my life.

PinkAndFabulous · 09/10/2020 22:11

Me. Mainly because of my wonderful DP but I also have a great relationship with my siblings and mum as well as my partners kids. Yes covid is making life difficult but before this, we had a very active social life with our amazing friends and lots of holidays/mini breaks away.
Even losing my job doesn't make me feel any different. I am very lucky but it's not always been that way. I am just lucky enough at the moment to be very happy.

Ellapaella · 09/10/2020 22:14

@Onxob ThanksIt seems like a long way away now but 18 months will soon be over. Good luck on your journey to having the life you want and deserve. You are absolutely right in what you said, so much of our day to day contentment lies in our relationships with others. Good luck.

Tunnocks34 · 09/10/2020 22:15

I am.

Great family, great child hood.

Husband who is gorgeous, kind, funny and my best friend,

Children who, quite frankly are amazing.

Career I love.

I have troubles, and worries. I have OCD which is a real bummer but I manage it fairly well. Most of the time anyway

KnightsofColumbusThatHurt · 09/10/2020 22:18

Yes, I am. There are many things I hate about myself, but in terms of external stuff, my DH, children, my wider family, our home, jobs, our finances, friends etc - it's definitely pretty much as good as it could be Smile

SuperCaliFragalistic · 09/10/2020 22:19

I am very happy. I definitely think it's the ability to be optimistic that helps. When my partner left me for another woman 3.5 years ago I experi a lot of sadness and uncertainty but I've discovered that being a single parent to my two lovely children has been the absolute making of me. It was him that was holding me back and it quickly felt like a weight had lifted. I don't have much money but I'm lucky to have a well paid part time job and a small mortgage. We can go on holiday from time to time. I have a few close friends, my family nearby. I know it wouldn't suit everyone but my life right now happens to be perfect for me.

IrishMumSW19 · 09/10/2020 22:20

I vary. A breast cancer diagnosis five years ago has left me with a lot of anxiety and a great sense of loss. It took my hair, my fertility, my sense of innocence. I feel very sad about it.

RiseoftheSeahorse · 09/10/2020 22:21

Yes, I’d say my life is 9/10 on the happiness scale (always room for improvement!)

I’m happy in my marriage, I enjoy my job (part time and low stress), I feel like I achieve the things I set my mind to. I’m healthy and we are lucky to be financially comfortable. I don’t put much stock into what others think of me and I try to do what I want in life (within reason!)

I spent many, many years suffering from depression and anxiety, and then I experienced a horrible trauma at 16 that made things very bleak for a long time. So I’m incredibly grateful to be so happy with my life now. Of course I still get stressed and I have bad days but on the whole, my life is wonderful.

tigger001 · 09/10/2020 22:21

Yes, i am. I have worked hard and achieved what i wanted by now in my career, i have a great husband who just adds to my love of life. We have our amazing son, (3) who is just magic, genuinely magic. My friends are fun and kind.

The only thing that would be amazing would be if my best friend who was also my beautiful mum was here to see it all develop but i lost her 2 years ago. But i am truly content, more so than i ever expected to be.

SuperCaliFragalistic · 09/10/2020 22:22

There are only 2 things that could make me happier and they are for my brothers incurable terminal illness to go away and if I could afford a full time housekeeper. Otherwise I am 100% happy.

anormalperson · 09/10/2020 22:25

I am. I almost died last year and I hate to be one of those people who say their life has changed after a near death experience but it has. I truly enjoy the small things and don't worry about the unimportant things anymore.

Echobelly · 09/10/2020 22:25

I'm pretty happy, which I put down in large part to not comparing myself negatively to other people. I just have no inclination to, and I'm not really sure why other people do it.

And also, let's not beat about the bush, I have the advantage of a reasonable amount of family money so I bought property when young and I have inherited chunks over the years, and even in times when I've been low on money I've always had family who could help me out if I ever got to a point of emergency, which has never happened fortunately. So I've never had the base worry about getting by. It's much easier to feel happy in life if that's the case.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 09/10/2020 22:27

Yes! Two lovely kids & Dh, parents and siblings who are supportive.

Key: happy family childhood.
Good education & job
Good work life balance.
Well paid

This doesn't mean everything has always been perfect. I was bullied & didnt fit in at school, as an adult I've had 3 miscarriages and DD was seriously ill last year. But I'm equipped and resilient enough to cope

Shxx · 09/10/2020 22:28

no

Londoner

received 40k