To ask is anybody truly happy with their lives?

[Friedbanana]

(Before covid too) I just sometimes really wonder if anyone is truly happy as everyone around me seems to have so many struggles/stresses, and the general state of the world is so helpless with global warming, hunger, backwards politics etc.. I’ve had this mindset before covid but obviously things are even worse now for many..
I’ve always wanted children at some point in the future (I’m only mid twenties) but sometimes I wonder whether I want to bring a child into this world in the state it’s currently in :(

So yes, just asking if anyone is truly content, and maybe if you are could you give some background eg work/family situation etc. And what you think has contributed to your content life!

I'm happy with my life.
I think - extremes aside - this is FAR more to do with your attitude / /outlook on life than what you actually have.

Like everyone else, we've had all the ups and downs in life - bereavement, illness, work stresses, as well as the highs, but life is about finding the goodness and happiness that is all around you.

I once read somewhere that, as a parent, "You can only be as happy as your unhappiest child." That makes perfect sense to me; if either of my sons has a problem, I feel it - and would do anything to help or even take it away from them if I could.
So - as they are both in jobs for which they have aptitude and are in stable, happy relationships - I am happy mum.

I, myself, am retired with no mortgage, have enough to live on comfortably but not lavishly, am best friends with my DH and have hobbies and interests to keep me busy.
I would love to win a lottery to afford an extension but not enough to remember to buy a ticket!

I was. Before lockdown we were happy, fostering a toddler and a baby and enjoying life. During lockdown we moved the toddler on to their forever home and took in a second baby, life was busy but good. Seems a lifetime ago. Then in June the shit hit the fan and now I am scared and anxious all the time but trying to be happy still but life has thrown us a curve ball (or ten)

Yes I love my life. I've had extremely difficult life traumas, fathers suicide, husband dying. I've had shit loads of counselling and dedicated years to healing.

I'm 5p now single own house by the coast. Everyday brings me joy as I have developed a core that is not swayed by outside circumstances. Of course I get crap days but I feel a deep contentment in general.

I worry because I've been unemployed for ages and can't find a job, so there are money issues, but otherwise I am pretty happy with my life. I am content with a simple life, have never wanted an actual career, am separated, no desire to find another partner. My health is good, I have my lovely pets, and I take each day as it comes and enjoy it.

I think @daisychain1620 has put it well. Being low maintenance is a blessing when it comes to being happy!

I'm really grateful for what I've got but really unhappy for what I haven't got

What a great thread. I hope that it brings comfort to people who are going through dark times and not feeling content/happy now. There are people out there who can help you come to terms with what has happened to you. The bad times don't lasts forever. Life is tough but there are times where we get to sit in the sun and enjoy it.

I've written a long answer, which I'm keeping just for me - far too identifying - but the briefer answer is that yes I am in a good place now, and I realise that I couldnt have got there without many of the more difficult times. I'm grateful for living in a good community, for relatively good health, food on the table, a roof over our heads and for my dh and kids. We've probably driven each other mad over the years, had dark periods and challenges, but we have grown to appreciate and enjoy each other's strengths, and to overlook the other stuff. No-one's perfect.

I was happy until I separated with my husband at age 36, twelve years ago. Now I live in a one bed flat with my son and two dogs, no garden and not very good health (nothing specific except GERD but generally fatigued). I was diagnosed with autism six years ago. I also have GAD and depression. My son is also aspie.

I’m lonely and anxious because I have no garden, two dogs and rubbish health but however I feel I have to take the dogs out twice a day. I would like to find a man but I’ve had an early menopause so I have no libido. I can’t see a way out of the situation at the moment.

Very

It's perfect

Me. That’s not to say that I haven’t been through tough times (I most definitely have) or that my life is perfect or stress free but, on the whole, things are pretty good.

No- Chronic poor mental health since I was a child and autism. I have no quality of life and reading this thread has made me realise this even more. I have just started the process for assisted suicide via Dignitas.

I often feel that I am the luckiest person in the world as I have two amazing grown up children, lovely family and friends and since leaving a DV relationship I have somewhere safe to live.

I still feel sad sometimes about what has happened to me, that I lost my chance at a career and good relationship, but you choose your own regrets.

I still feel incredibly lucky, and I also feel we are lucky to live right now and have all these little luxuries like chocolate bars, shower gel and Netflix. That might sound a bit ridiculous, but it’s just a nice life, isn’t it?

The poster - Hilarious- who gets to live by the sea with her cats and is buying a kayak. That just sounds an amazing life.

If our basic needs are met then it is a state of mind.

I dont think that "happiness" is a state we can find ourselves in constantly.
We can only appreciate happy times when valued against times when we find it tough.
Most of us have challenges - but we can choose how to deal with them.

Imagine this-

1. A woman nearing retirement age, hasn't worked for 20 years while raising children, a carer to both an elderly parent who lives with her, an adult son with severe MH problems, incuding suicide attempts- she is only able to work from home, bears the brunt of housework and almost no free time.

1. A woman in her 50s, excited at finding peace with herself. Has a blossoming business working from home, prioritses self care, daily yoga, meditation. Cares for others but not at her own cost. Takes time to plant flowers and paint her toenails. Nurtures herself and finds joy in life.

Both are accurate descriptions of my life.

Guess which life I choose.

@Tobythecat I'm so very sorry to hear your not well and so unhappy. I haven't anything helpful or constructive to say. I want to give you a hug and be able to make you feel better somehow

Yes very.

I have an amazing husband who lights up my life. The 3 most beautiful children and a beautiful home. We’re not super well off but we have a nice comfortable life and I’m 100% satisfied with where I am.

I had an awful childhood and my 20s were hard as a single mum but it’s really turned around the last 4 years.

What a fascinating thread! I agree with what someone posted about living through hard times, makes you extra appreciative of the good. Incidentally, I have had Covid and treated Covid patients - just remember your best defence is looking after yourself physically and remind yourself the majority of those infected will recover.

I am generally very happy - the key for me is being around nature, doing meaningful work and maintaining fitness and health. My young life was spent flitting around overseas, raving and abandoning university in favour of awful men. I have been married and divorced twice (I am 50) and I am now (extremely) happily single - I love independence and would never relinquish it.

Three very different kids whom I absolutely adore - youngest is uncomplicated, bright and strong, middle one very focussed, just attained A*AA in A Levels, oldest just about to leave a Cat B prison for making his own explosives - schizophrenia, not terror related - I have produced a real mixed bag!

Above all health, being comfortable in your skin and nuturing the positives in your life are what I consider most important to achieve happiness.

I would say I'm pretty content and happy with my life. I'm 40 now though - I sure as hell wasn't when I was mid 20s, so it does come with time. I think that happiness comes with having good relationships and good people around me, a lovely husband and children who were well planned and much wanted and fit into a life I very much wanted. I also have an interesting career doing something I love, a good work/life balance, and a lot of support to pursue my career. Dh and I have shared interests and values and longterm plans and things we are looking forward to. Life has not always been a walk in the park though. Dh and I both have horrific childhood experiences and not good relationships with our parents (LC/NC) due to abuse and other issues. There have been some really painful times. But you can't dwell on things you can't change. I can't make my family be functional and healthy to have in my life. I've had lots of therapy and come to terms with it. But it's something I've had to let go. There are much more important things to take up my time and emotional energy, and I've tried to make those my focus in life. I think having a loving supportive partner and a purpose in life, whether that is a career or something else, is key. I didn't find all of that until I was 30 ish though. I was definitely kind of miserable in my 20s.

Yes. But I think I only really felt that truly deep, completely fulfilled happiness when DS arrived. He lights up my life in a way nothing else ever has, and I've been lucky to have had a great career and a lot of opportunity to travel beforehand as well.

I think the thing that has been most important for me has been having choices. I was lucky with the parents I got and the opportunities I had as a child, including a great education. I've always worked hard to give myself the widest range of options and it's made it easier to be able to choose a path which makes me happy (and change path if I've chosen wrongly).

It's so complex isn't it?

I am happy yes, I have absolutely everything I could wish for. Lovely DH, incredible children, nice home, great job and pretty well off. I have loads of other things as well - lovely extended family and parents, good health. I really have everything.

The only thing that brings me down is the state of the world. Since I've had children I find that impossible to deal with. I worry constantly about pretty much everything, almost exclusively things I can't really do much about

In my moments of being content and happy and grateful, thoughts of various awful things in the world (real and imagined, that may or may not happen) come into my head uninvited. I'm sure that wasn't the case before I had children.

I've always felt very fortunate to have a mindset that tends towards contentment. It really helps, and it's luck just as much as having circumstances that wouldn't push most people into being unhappy is.

Im very content.
Dh is lovely, not perfect and hw is not his strong point but he keeps me steady.
2 dc. Ds is thriving in mainstream school with 1-1. Dd has her issues but is v sweet and funny.
I have wonderful PILs.
I have a job Im good at which pays well and doesnt leave me exhausted. My boss is wonderful.
I make my own goals and measure success against that rather than comparing with others on social media.
I am much less social these days so its also fewer expectations. When I do see friends I really appreciate it. Less is more.

Danish culture has helped. Its really hard to make friends but youre not expected to be friends with your colleagues but rather personable. So much less pressure there. Also strong trade unions result in good pay and working conditions.

I’m sometimes happy and sometimes unhappy. I flirt between the two. I always seem to want more in life despite on paper having everything.

Flit not flirt!!

Bloke here. Despite quite a bit to be fed up about, I’m actually quite a happy bunny.

I put it down to knowing my mum loved me a lot - people knew she did and I found a few clues in her belonging after she went. She’s been gone with breast cancer 27 years now, but you know, her love was the perfect springboard.

Basically yes, despite the obvious problems of the moment I'm pretty content and mostly that's because at risk of sounding daft I've learned to appreciate the things I have and not to compare myself with others.

There are many things about my life that are imperfect, and if you'd asked 20 year old me if this is where she wanted to be she would probably have said no. But I am healthy, have a happy and healthy child, a job that supports me financially and generally interests me, friends who look after me and a nice boyfriend. And I'm hugely grateful of these things.

Having come through an abusive marriage and had various other setbacks, and now approaching 50, I've learned that being content and surrounded by people who love you is about the best you can hope for.