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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be really angry that seeing my parents is illegal?

675 replies

Snailsetssail · 08/10/2020 21:26

My area is very likely to be locked down next week. I am so furious that it’s going to be against the law for me to see my parents, and my children to see their grandparents. We did lockdown properly last time, it was absolutely awful. My mental health plummeted and I don’t think I can do it again. I rely on support from family and friends.

Just feeling so incredibly angry about it all tonight. Poor people in Leicester have lived like this for 100 days so far with no end in site.

I’m so fed up and I know I’m going to be told to just get on it it. But I just need a space to vent.

OP posts:

FractionalGains · 09/10/2020 01:59

@Flaxmeadow I watched the daily briefings and have no recollection of being told we would be having lockdowns for years

janetmendoza · 09/10/2020 02:20

Have none of you who are saying you can't be arsed with the rules actually caught it yet and accidentally killed someone? Ds has caught it, not by doing something against the rules, but by a social contact that was unnecessary and we advised against. He has passed it on to his dad who is now extremely ill. At home still but hospital beckoning. His dad is not vulnerable in anyway either, just a normal guy in his 50s. Ds now very regretful of course and everyone saying it wasn't his fault, but actually it was his fault completely.

BitOfFun · 09/10/2020 03:03

I am terminally ill. Covid has seriously messed with any 'bucket list' experiences. I stay home all the time apart from medical appointments. If beloved friends or family want to visit me, I'm not going to stop them. If I get fined, the authorities can go swivel.

Topseyt · 09/10/2020 03:20

@Lostinacloud

Not going to be told to just get on with it by me. In fact I am willing the whole of the UK population to stop just getting on with it and to push back against this control by fear. How dare any government tell any free individual that they are not allowed to see their own family. I actually cannot believe that people are willingly accepting this no matter what is going on.

I totally agree with this. If my elderly parents have any further health crises and need support then I will be going to them regardless if what any government says.

Witchcraftandhokum · 09/10/2020 03:25

It's a farce. I can supervise 150 pupils in one room, mask-free but can't visit my parents.

Coyoacan · 09/10/2020 03:31

What it is, is these people think Covid only happens to Other People. Be it serious illness, death, or disabling Long Covid

And you think mental illness only happens to other people too. Fortunately I don't live in the UK, but those rules are heartbreaking and do not make sense.

PhilCornwall1 · 09/10/2020 05:33

@Lostinacloud

Agreed. It's as if everyone is just rolling over and submitting to random rules being imposed, many of the illogical.

It'll come to a head sooner rather than later I think. Come November, it may start to be a very different story.

katienana · 09/10/2020 05:46

My parents are in tbeir 60s. Mum has had no health issues, my dad has had cancer and 2 heart attacks. He had his second during lockdown. I hadnt been near him for 2 months and he almost died. He's recovering now but he decided then that he wants to have contact with family, what's the point of him staying alive if he can't have his family round him? He knows the risks involved, we all do.

toffeekiwi · 09/10/2020 05:50

[quote AldiAisleofCrap]@Snailsetssail you need to think of the bigger picture your dc not seeing their grandparents for a while, will mean other children will still have their grandparents alive to visit in the future.
There are thousands of children who have lost grandparents to Covid and would give anything for them to be alive and read them stories over zoom.[/quote]
This.

Codexdivinchi · 09/10/2020 05:56

So crazy -

You must protect the elderly - but not your own, some one you don’t know...

Dowser · 09/10/2020 05:58

@demelza82
I can’t see my elderly parents for a long time Either because they are dead But nothing and no one would stop me if they were still here.

We’ve got to learn to live with this.
Lockdowns don’t work
It will always be gere..well at least for our lifetime anyway
Dh told me it took 184 years for smallpox to be eradicated.

184 years!
Anyone still not going to see loved ones?

Dowser · 09/10/2020 06:01

@Lostinacloud

There’s been dozens of protests.
Have you not heard?
There’s the fb stand up groups, mad about masks, stop the new normal, save our rights, keep Britain free, us for them scotland, england , wales and Northern Ireland

Get yourself in there and fight back

Codexdivinchi · 09/10/2020 06:05

@WombatChocolate

Yes, because there are a lot more Nans in the country than rugby teams! If we all sat with our Nans, more of them will die than if we don’t.

That statement ‘Don’t kill granny’ said it pretty well. Why people think they can visit their Granny and keep her 100% safe I just don’t know.

It’s about the big pirciture isn’t it, not the individual NaN vs the rugby team, but the fact that the choices of thousands and thousands of people make the difference on a macro level. And it’s in a macro level that the virus needs sorting out for life to go back to normal.

How can I kill granny if I’m sat down the path SD with a mask on?

Maybe I should invite her to a game of football, rugby, go hunting and all the rest of the allowed sports. We’d be ok then!

Calledyoulastnightfromglasgow · 09/10/2020 06:11

It’s so hard. I’m in scotland so have lived liked this for longer.

What angers me is that until pubs shut I was allowed to meet my mum in a pub but not my home. The rationale was that pubs manage infection better. Mmmm. Maybe they do but they haven’t met my mother. Anyway we did meet outside in the garden but she is very depressed at the thought of winter. In scotland, you can’t often sit outside in January!!!

However cases are rising and I worry for the elderly so I think we have to do our best here.

But I don’t think cases are rising due to people not complying. I think it’s students being back in halls and mass testing of people for other reasons. I’m not even sure hospital numbers are accurate either as they seem to be testing people in hospitals even if asymptomatic.

People have To trust the government and their numbers. If that truth goes, there is no compliance.

pinkbalconyrailing · 09/10/2020 06:17

it sucks.
but has to be done.
this is a nasty disease and we need to protect ourselves as much as possible to protect vital services in the country.

Wimbledon11 · 09/10/2020 06:25

I'll be ignoring the rules. I complied the first 3 months after then my children's grandmother has said she would rather risk her life seeing grandchildren than life on her own and I agree.

I have a friend whoes mother is crying to see her and grandchildren and she refuses because of virus, I don't understand it's so sad for grandmother

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 09/10/2020 06:25

I agree you have to be pragmatic about it but this happened recently and it's made me re-evaluate my relaxed attitude.

A family I know of - parents in 80s and grown up daughters in their 50s - had a day out together recently. Followed SD rules.
They all live in separate towns mum and dad in one and their daughters in two other different cities. None of these places are in lock down.

Following this all four of them have tested positive for covid and three out of the four have been very poorly and one is fighting for her life in hospital and is unlikely to make it. It has devastated them. Just be careful folks.

ftm202020 · 09/10/2020 06:29

Fuck the the rules basically. If you are vulnerable you need to shield. We have to break the rule of 6 most days as we have a household of more than 6 and there is no way I am not seeing my extended family. I complied to begin with but enough is enough now.

Codexdivinchi · 09/10/2020 06:35

People have To trust the government and their numbers. If that truth goes, there is no compliance

SnackRussell · 09/10/2020 06:38

We’re being made to like like this, for what reason exactly? So sick of the lies and being told I can’t see my friends and family, by governments i didn't even vote for.

Businesses and lives are being ruined. Mental health and well being of the country, plus people with non-Covid illnesses is what’s going to cripple the NHS long term.

I know how to behave in a pub or restaurant. I understand mask wearing and social distancing. And so do most of the population. Yet we are all being punished for the few?

I have no intention of adhering to these “rules” for however many years until a vaccine is found, and I’m sick of existing rather than living.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/amp/uk-scotland-54433305

FippertyGibbett · 09/10/2020 06:39

IF I had grandchildren I wouldn’t stop seeing them.

TwilightSkies · 09/10/2020 06:43

I am terminally ill. Covid has seriously messed with any 'bucket list' experiences.

I’m so sorry ❤️

RancidOldHag · 09/10/2020 06:48

It's on the front pages that shielding is set to be recalled

Shielding was about 100 days in total isolation (not going beyond your house) and then about 4 weeks more with one daily exercise outing.

And wasn't it extended in some regional restrictions?

That's a lot of people, in a lot of places, being isolated to such an extent that it's all too easy to slip into 'out of site out of mind'

Society is asking a fuck of a lot of the most vulnerable.

Chicchicchicchiclana · 09/10/2020 06:50

I haven't rtft, just read back a few posts.

@janetmendoza, how hard that must be for your whole family , wishing your dh a good recovery.

And BitofFun .

PhilCornwall1 · 09/10/2020 07:24

People have To trust the government and their numbers. If that truth goes, there is no compliance.

Absolutely no chance I trust the government or their numbers.

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