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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this pandemic has provided deep insight into people's character?

320 replies

rosesbloom · 08/10/2020 10:37

I have found it quite illuminating seeing people's reactions. Friends and family members I have known for years have surprised me. It is like this situation has acted like a catalyst to reveal people's true nature, values and character.

A friend I had known for years and thought was a kind and empathetic person said the vulnerable just need to accept that they will die if they catch it and everything needs to carry on as normal. I have an underlying health condition she doesn't know about. I just sat there in stunned silence.

It has even shown me things about myself I didn't realise. It has shown me how anxious I am about my health, usually all those worries are internal and I keep them to myself but they have had to be brought out into the light when I explain to friends/family why I don't feel comfortable going for a meal in a restaurant at the moment despite it being "allowed" and "COVID-19 secure". Even though I know I engage in risky behaviours all the time like driving a car, crossing a road, etc it is like I have a blind spot with accurately assessing COVID risks.

Have any of you had any surprising revelations from people?

OP posts:
SoUtterlyGroundDown · 08/10/2020 17:31

I see those against local lockdowns and restrictions blaming the public sector. That makes no sense

Who is blaming the public sector?

SoUtterlyGroundDown · 08/10/2020 17:31

Looks like the private sector and public sector are dependent on each other then

Well yes. That’s how society works. That’s the point being made.

BeNiceLikeIRL · 08/10/2020 17:31

Glad we cleared that up.
The public sector do contribute to the economy as well as the private, both directly (taxes) and indirectly (facilitating the private sector).

TheKeatingFive · 08/10/2020 17:33

BeNice is there another thread that you’re getting mixed up with? Because you don’t seem to be following the argument made here.

Gettinggrumpier · 08/10/2020 18:36

@Serenity2020

Yes. And in most cases, sadly, it hasn't surprised me. It's not the virus that scares me so much as the response to it and all of the things being done in the name of COVID-19.

The people I thought were kind are still kind. The people I thought were nasty curtain twitching little Nazis or Stasi recruits in the making are still nasty little Nazis or Stasi recruits in the making though many do it in the guise of being good, obedient little citizens (the Good Girls' Club syndrome, I call it. Or Boys.) And the people I thought would blindly follow whatever the BBC and the Daily Mail, or the Guardian and the New Statesman, tell them to think without checking out the evidence for themselves still do so.

It's also been interesting to see how the health professionals I know have handled it, which is generally with professionalism, kindness, and common sense. Some held back a little in the first wave as they knew that this (so-called) second wave would almost certainly have more of an impact, and they didn't want to go into it exhausted from the start. They'll be able to be of more use now, and help support or take over from those exhausted in that first rush.

They tend to be the more experienced ones, though. It's not that they didn't help at the start, they just didn't rush to be on that very first frontline. This applies to people I know who have nursed patients through Ebola and Dengue Fever, although not in this country, or have worked on ICU wards (in this country), so I kind of figure they know what they're on about when it comes to infection control and PPE and not overstretching yourself.

I also know a couple of nurses with an excellent knowledge of history (it's practically their hobby), including various recorded plagues all the way back to the plague of St Justinian. And pretty much everything they have said is likely to happen, based on those historical precedents, has happened.

For me the pandemic has also revealed the true nature of our governments (especially in the US and the UK) and those who support their policies no matter how much human suffering they cause. It has especially revealed, once and for all. the true nature of the slithery little subhuman creatures behind the acceptable masks of the likes of BJ. (And I suspect there are even more slithery things behind them.) They always had this reduction in freedoms and various other fates for the Proles planned, this has just accelerated it beyond their wildest wet dreams.

Like others here, I've also been beyond angry and upset at how many people think they're untouchable because until now they've always had security in jobs, and homes, and food. And those people are perfectly happy for others, that they regard as inferior, to suffer, and head towards destitution. And I do mean destitution.

It didn't have to be quite as bad as this, if only people hadn't enabled this bunch of Austerity loving monsters 10 years ago. The mental health repercussions of this thing are only just beginning, but the "I'm all right Jack brigade" won't give a monkey's fig, since initially it will only affect the poor or non-Oxbridge educated Caucasians, and what do they matter. Time to get rid of a few of them, they're a drain on society, anyway. Camps, did you say? What a splendid idea..

I've also been beyond incandescent to see the likes of Bezos get richer and richer and richer while his employees, in the early stages, didn't even have the most basic of surgical masks and are being run ragged. And I'm as hypocritical as anyone; while I try to use smaller companies, local wherever possible, sometimes we have to resort to Amazon. But how can that immense gap in wealth possibly be right, morally? (Rhetorical question. I just don't know what we can do about it, practically, as I certainly can't see him setting up a humanitarian fund to help with education and healthcare any time soon, or many of the others.)

If you look at it from a traditional occult/religious point of view though then there are two main forces that motivate humanity/most living creatures, when you come down to it: Love, and Fear. And right now, the rulers of the world are most definitely feeding on our Fear.

I sometimes can't help feeling the aforesaid subhuman creatures most definitely have more knowledge of the occult than is safe in such hands. I'm almost at the stage where I'm seriously considering trying out the technique in A Wrinkle in Time (the book, not the film, which I haven't seen). In the story, the main character can't love the evil force working through her brother, but she CAN stand there and love her brother.

So on that note, I'm going to go and see if I can find a cuddly BJ or a cuddly Orange Wotsit. Failing which, I might have to make them and keep them on my computer and tell them every day how much I really, really, really love them. Right before I smother them in a hug or give them to the cats to play with for practice.... ;)

So much vitriol from yourself. Don't you see that you are also part of the problem. Your immense denigration of others for not thinking the same as you is very abhorrent.
Cloudhopping · 08/10/2020 18:40

God, who the hell do you lot mix with?! I can honestly say that I have seen only the best of people over the last 6 months.

SharpLily · 08/10/2020 20:11

@Peregrina

"this was all Bill Gates, he's planning to kill six billion people". hmm I never got a real answer explaining why Bill is planning this.

By cleaning up patenting a dud vaccine - to make more money, I suppose. DH leans towards this persuasion.

No no, he means Bill developed the virus to kill six billion. Vaccine development and the subsequent money to be made (or otherwise) don't figure in this particular conspiracy theory. Apparently he has some other chemical weapons up his sleeve to finish the job should this one fail.

While I have already admitted to a fair amount of disgust at some people's behaviour, I have also been suprised and delighted at the creativity, generosity and valiant making the best of I have seen. While these situations do bring out the worst in many it's also true to say it can bring out the best in many others.

HeIenaDove · 08/10/2020 21:00

Its ok @IrmaFayLear i get it. Public health issues not helping the Covid situation is only worthy of blame when its the public thats causing it.

Quaagars · 08/10/2020 21:04

@SoUtterlyGroundDown

Yes I’ve been surprised at how many people have curtain twitcher tendencies, and how easy it has been for people to turn against each other. I’m also surprised how many don’t seem to understand that other people have circumstances different to them.
Totally this
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 09/10/2020 06:46

I've stunned by the number of people who are insanely terrified of germs/have huge health anxiety. Before you say "oh but they may have a condition you don't know about" lots dont and have said as much. A few friends have said to me the rational part of them knows they are being OTT but their anxiety is out of control. I find this worrying for society as a whole, as well as the individuals.

AuntieStella · 09/10/2020 06:50

It's shown me how ready a lot of people are to shut away other people.

The level of selfishness which permits that sort of heartless mindset is usually well concealed.

KatherineJaneway · 09/10/2020 07:28

I'm amazed at how some people will use any excuse to gain 'permission' to do what they want.

IrmaFayLear · 09/10/2020 09:35

I think a lot of people have never encountered death. People can live to a ripe old age now, so sometimes you can get to 50 and have grandparents still around (I know someone with a full set at this age!!) and if you are lucky not to have had illness in the family either then death is something that happens to other people.

It is incomprehensible to me all this bellowing about deaths in care homes and of the very elderly. People die constantly in care homes because they are, well, old. Yet it seems that a good amount of people seem unable to grasp this.

Elderly people are rarely like Captain Tom. If you are in a care home it means you need care and are likely to be frail or/and have dementia.

toobloominghot · 09/10/2020 17:52

Yes this! A neighbour went on holiday to a country that required quarantine once back. They did not quarantine and furthermore they had guests over within the quarantine period and were overhead telling said guests they "only went down the coast". They absolutely didn't !! No adherence to lockdown either at the start.
Really see people for what they are now. Selfish!!

Mmpip · 09/10/2020 17:59

I always thought that during a crisis everybody would support each other and 'pull together. For instance during really bad winters we always had neighbours and locals digging out their neighbours cars from banks of snow and clearing people's driveways who couldn't manage it themselves. I therefore have been astounded at the self- absorbed, critical , nosey and harsh behaviour of a lot of people dealing with this crisis. It seems it's now sod everbody else and I'll just do as I please or shop as I please or not wear a mask if I please or stand close to you if I please, curtain twitchers, house parties.....etc.....Thousands of people have already died but you really wouldn't know it by the behaviour of some people....

Elsewyre · 09/10/2020 18:07

@rosesbloom

I have found it quite illuminating seeing people's reactions. Friends and family members I have known for years have surprised me. It is like this situation has acted like a catalyst to reveal people's true nature, values and character.

A friend I had known for years and thought was a kind and empathetic person said the vulnerable just need to accept that they will die if they catch it and everything needs to carry on as normal. I have an underlying health condition she doesn't know about. I just sat there in stunned silence.

It has even shown me things about myself I didn't realise. It has shown me how anxious I am about my health, usually all those worries are internal and I keep them to myself but they have had to be brought out into the light when I explain to friends/family why I don't feel comfortable going for a meal in a restaurant at the moment despite it being "allowed" and "COVID-19 secure". Even though I know I engage in risky behaviours all the time like driving a car, crossing a road, etc it is like I have a blind spot with accurately assessing COVID risks.

Have any of you had any surprising revelations from people?

The average age of death from covid in the UK is 84 ffs.

Unless your underlying health condition is extreme old age you arent dying.

Twinkled · 09/10/2020 18:12

Your friend sounds horrendous. Awful.al least you have an accurate measure of her and can begin to give her a width birth. I have found it disturbing how some think for their pleasure and service others should risk their lives . Whereas others I have seen do care and help out in the community making and delivering masks.

anon666 · 09/10/2020 18:13

It's polarising, isn't it?

If I look on the bright side, I've realised and expressed how much I love my parents and how awesome they are.

Ditto my bothers and sister - I didn't realise how much they meant to me, I took them for granted. Not that I ever disliked them, but there have been occasional rifts between different siblings. I detect a much warmer tone all round towards each other, and I've started talking to them much more often.

It's made me fonder of my in-laws. Again, instead of taking them for granted I've realised I really care deeply about them.

I've seen some wonderful behaviours, my neighbours are beautiful people. Initially I think it brought out the best in people.

However, in terms of random strangers on the internet, it feels like civilisation is collapsing. The fascism towards vulnerable people, the idiocy of the conspiracies. The crass stupidity of a lot of comments online.

I'm hoping that there is an element of ignorance and genuine stupidity about it rather than malice. I think some people are very easily led and are being led. They don't have the critical thinking skills to really understand what they're saying. I hope that if push came to shove, in person they would be mainly compassionate.

I think there's quite a bit of bravado - who can be less bothered - who can claim to be "getting on with it". In my more charitable moments I'm able to think that there must be an evolutionary reason and advantage for having people who are able to disregard risk and keep buggering on regardless.

165EatonPlace · 09/10/2020 18:16

Yes. I am so disappointed to learn that the taxpayer/VAT payer has been defrauded to the sum of £ 26 billion as a result of all the financial assistance measures offered due to Covid. I am shocked, saddened and so disheartened by it. What has happened to so many people's moral compass?. Shame on all those that are guilty

user1472151176 · 09/10/2020 18:22

I agree. I am shocked my the behaviour and comments of friends and family. More worryingly it's created a massive rift between myself and my husband. I genuinely can't believe I've been married to this man for over 10 years. Our views and values are so different. It is seriously making me question my marriage and the longevity of it.

user1472151176 · 09/10/2020 18:22

*by

Elsewyre · 09/10/2020 18:54

@165EatonPlace

Yes. I am so disappointed to learn that the taxpayer/VAT payer has been defrauded to the sum of £ 26 billion as a result of all the financial assistance measures offered due to Covid. I am shocked, saddened and so disheartened by it. What has happened to so many people's moral compass?. Shame on all those that are guilty
Did you expect organised crime to take th pandemic off?
ddl1 · 09/10/2020 19:15

I have on the whole had positive rather than negative surprises about people in real life. The reason is undoubtedly that I have always had mild invisible disabilities, and the sort of people who might have surprised me negatively about Covid 19 would have already shown that, even if they were Good People in certain ways, I could not fully trust them in my own situation. Those who won't accommodate other people's needs, or just the needs of an unusual situation, in a pandemic would already have been unwilling to accommodate my special needs in certain other specific situations (e.g. not being able to drive; generally poor co-ordination). Those who think that people are either totally vulnerable or totally invulnerable in a pandemic would have already shown intolerance toward people with mild disabilities. Those who (on either side of the issue) consider that there can be nothing in between full lockdown and no restrictions at all would also have been the type of person who might treat me to the Worst Words in the World for a person with mild invisible disabilities: 'Well, if you can do X, why can't you do Y?'

On the other hand, several people whom I had regarded as grumpy. 'ditzy', empty-headed or unreliable in various ways have surprised me favourably in various ways, by the ways in which they have risen to the occasion, and their consideration and helpfulness toward all sorts of people affected by the pandemic.

That's people I know IRL. I suppose that, although I already had lowish standards about what happens on the Internet, I had a few shocks with regard to some of the conspiracy theories, as well as some of the generational warfare: 'Let the old die; why should we have to make any accommodations to them?' versus 'This pandemic is all the fault of irresponsible young people!'

Belladonna12 · 09/10/2020 19:17

I haven't been surprised by any of the reactions among people I know. Most people are being careful not to get infected, including my teenage children and their friends. Everyone accepts that there needs to be some sacrifice and hopes that there will be a vaccine soon.
The attitude that older people or vulnerable should die so that everyone else can carry on as normal is only found among random strangers on the Internet. I'm glad I don't know anyone with that attitude in real life.

DontBeShelfish · 09/10/2020 19:23

I discovered quite how self-centred one of my former friends is. Runs their own business. Laid off staff at the start of lockdown. Continually posted pictures on social media throughout about artisanal beer deliveries to their house and expensive foods. Had their whole garden redesigned. Has recently declared that they've had their "busiest year yet". Completely tone-deaf and it's made me reassess entirely my dealings with them.