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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To give up driving?

113 replies

Namechange8471 · 07/10/2020 17:24

So I’ve just finished my lesson and I feel dreadful.
I have now done 7 hours and I honestly feel like giving up.
I struggle to even follow the road, I stall at junctions and even managed to puncture my instructors tyre.
My instructor is lovely, kind and patient but I hate every moment.

Has anyone eventually gotten the hang of it?

OP posts:

LavenderQuartz · 07/10/2020 17:26

most of us feel like that in the beginning....persevere it will get easier

Original poster

Namechange8471 · 07/10/2020 17:29

LavenderQuartz Thank you for your comment, I am just so fed up I feel useless, I dread the lessons and wish I never started.

OP posts:

br1anmay · 07/10/2020 17:29

Don't give up! It's a lot to take in at the start but you've only had 7 lessons! Give it time to sink in - the more lessons you have, the more your confidence will improve.

Northernsoullover · 07/10/2020 17:32

7 lessons is nothing! I know many take 10 and pass their test, then there are others like myself who probably took about 40 lessons! I failed a fair few tests too. I just had to keep going. I try not to use the car a great deal for environment reasons but its a fact that driving offers far my choices when it comes to work and leisure.

Northernsoullover · 07/10/2020 17:32

*more choices

vanillandhoney · 07/10/2020 17:32

Honestly, I think everyone feels like that at first!

I stalled a LOT and got really anxious, especially at roundabouts! I know a lot of MN'ers seemed to pass their test within five minutes but according to the RAC, the average person needs 45 hours of lessons plus 20 hours of practise on top.

www.rac.co.uk/drive/advice/learning-to-drive/how-to-pass-your-driving-test/

Please don't worry, you'll get there!

Topseyt · 07/10/2020 17:34

It is simply practice, practice, practice.

I've never taken naturally to driving and don't particularly like it so I can really understand how you feel.

If it really doesn't settle down then you could perhaps try learning in an automatic, although if you do pass your test on one then you will only be qualified to drive automatics so it depends whether or not that bothers you.

CheshireDing · 07/10/2020 17:36

No don’t give up, keep going for a while longer yet. Yes some people never get the hang of it but if you can it gives you so much more choices for work locations, holidays, independence etc.

I didn’t pass until my 4th attempt and I am a bloody amazing driver 😂🤷‍♀️

Mittens030869 · 07/10/2020 17:37

It’s like that for most of us at the start, but we do get the hang of it eventually. It’s like learning to swim and ride a bike, once you’ve learned how to do it you’ll be fine. Do hang in there.

I found it hard at the start and failed the first time I took the test. I’ve now been a qualified driver for 27 years and it’s now second nature.

TabbyStar · 07/10/2020 17:38

Learning to drive was one of the most difficult things I've ever done, I learned in my mid-30s, and I think I found it harder than my 17 year old DD is. I drove a lot in a job shortly after I passed my test though and I love driving now.

stayathomer · 07/10/2020 17:40

It takes so longa nd then suddenly you'll be sitting there and it'll be nothing to you. We were all there (except my dh who seems to think he was born in the driving seat!)!

ginghamtablecloths · 07/10/2020 17:49

You've only just started so don't give up yet. Driving can be a difficult thing to learn as it doesn't resemble anything else in your life which you do naturally. When you're a learner it's like multi-tasking overload but honestly it will get better.

Read all you can about the theory of driving - 'A Girl's Guide to Losing Your L-plates' by Maria McCarthy is a good place to start. Could you go out with others as a passenger so they can give you a 'demonstration drive' even if it's just a short distance. They can tell you what they're doing and why which might help with your thought processes.

It's all about perseverance and practice OP. If I could learn you can learn and you're probably a good deal younger than me. Good luck.

MynamarisBurma · 07/10/2020 17:54

Another one saying don't give up. It's a life changer and especially important if you have DC and a car !
MADE (yes not very PC but really pushed it for all of my kids. Youngest took 4 attempts at test and wanted to give up after the second..) She is now out doing the weekly shop and can see friends whenever she fancies rather than stick to when I am free and in the mood to take her ..

It's a real life changer AND makes you more employable.

DynamoKev · 07/10/2020 17:54

I stalled during my test - still passed. Stick with it - it's not easy but it will fall into place.

RincewindsHat · 07/10/2020 17:56

Would learning to drive an automatic help? They're so much easier, take away all the stress of thinking about changing gears, stalling, pulling away fast enough at roundabouts etc. You would only be qualified to drive an automatic after passing your test, but if it helps your confidence I would consider it!

FatGirlShrinking · 07/10/2020 17:56

If you've got anyone who's willing to take you out in their car it's really worth visiting a big empty car park and just driving around, negotiating turns and practicing parking. You'll get more comfortable with driving over time but it's really hard to get comfortable with a stranger watching you for an hour a week on roads you don't know.

Dillo10 · 07/10/2020 17:57

Just learn on an automatic - much easier

MeadowHay · 07/10/2020 17:59

7 hours!! I don't think I was even allowed to drive out of the car park until around then I have additional needs so driving is taking me longer than the average person of my age. I have done...about 50hrs of lessons so far. I had a 4 month gap due to lockdown. My instructor says he wants me to start doing mock tests soon, but I'm not sure I'm ready. I still find it pretty scary sometimes and obviously the lessons are bankrupting me, but I am making progress. My instructor has warned me I will likely need another 15-20 or so hours of lessons to be totally test ready. I'm actually envisaging it to be a lot more purely because I'm unlikely to be able to get my test booked in without a massive wait due to covid backlogs. I have my theory test next week which I had to wait 3 months for, so I really really need to pass or it will mean putting back my practical for god knows how long whilst I wait months to resit the theory test.

I have a friend who had 100 hrs of lessons and then stopped counting the hours but had many more after that. She was a nervous driver. Passed on her 4th attempt. She bought herself an automatic immediately after passing (on a manual). A few years later she drives all over the country alone. If she can do it, we can

Batshittery · 07/10/2020 17:59

Don't be too hard on yourself.
Give it a while longer before you decide. 7 lessons is not much. It's not your fault the tyre got a puncture. It will eventually click into place.
Your life will be so much easier in years to come if you can drive.

The80sweregreat · 07/10/2020 18:10

I was like this, but I had to just persist with it. We didn't have the theory test back then so it is a bit harder I know but driving does stump the best of us at times! Not everyone is a natural driver. I'm not.
Keep going , you will get there. Don't give up. (Other drivers make it horrible as they forget that they had to learn once too! )

Original poster

Namechange8471 · 07/10/2020 18:24

Thank you for all your kind replies, it really makes me feel better!

I’m still in the industrial park, just got up to third gear today, although I still drive like a granny.

It just frustrates me, I’m 30 now and really wish I’d done it years ago.

OP posts:

seriousandloyal · 07/10/2020 18:26

Keep going! It took me ages but I love driving now x

sashagabadon · 07/10/2020 18:28

Keep going! One day it will click and be there forever. Muscle memory will click in one day like swimming or riding a bike. Keep practising and you will get there. Could you do 2 hour lessons? Might improve quicker

Wetweekend99 · 07/10/2020 18:30

Spent years and loads of money on manual driving to finally give an automatic a go passed within 3 months. So much more relaxing!

imissthesouth · 07/10/2020 18:31

Please don't give up, that's why i'm in such a mess now. I gave up before my test when I was 17 and now in my 20s i'm really struggling. Stick at it and it will get easier x

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