To give up driving?

[Namechange8471]

So I’ve just finished my lesson and I feel dreadful.
I have now done 7 hours and I honestly feel like giving up.
I struggle to even follow the road, I stall at junctions and even managed to puncture my instructors tyre.
My instructor is lovely, kind and patient but I hate every moment.

Has anyone eventually gotten the hang of it?

After seven hours you're probably already better than 50% of people on the road already

I punctured my instructors tyre on the way to my first test another 4 tests later I passed, and have been driving over 20 years. 7 hours of lessons is still beginners stuff. You can do it!

Completely normal to go through I felt like that till around lesson 20 (and those were 2 hour manual lessons) when it suddenly clicked and I could drive. My instructor said that a lot of people go through this.

I passed my test after 10 lessons and an hour after passing my test, I drove from Manchester to Birmingham down the M6.

Guess what, I stalled my car twice last week.

It happens to everyone. Please keep going. You will look back, once you have passed and be so pleased you carried on. Good luck OP

It took me 10 x 2 hour lessons to successfully manage basic junctions on small estates before my instructor would even allow me near a small roundabout!

I passed first time in 50 hours of lessons with 2 minors and was also one of the most confident drivers out of my circle of friends as I’d spent so much more time on the road than those who passed in 20/30 hours. My parking skills are legendary with those that know me and I’m sure it’s down to all the extra practice.

It may be frustrating but it will probably make you a better driver in the long run, stick with it!

Even the most experienced driver stalls...my DH has been driving 30 years, drives for a living...we went on holiday recently and one part of the road he just couldn't get the gear right and stalled every day we left the holiday home for 3 days running!!!

Don't give up, I learnt at 32 and really wish I had learnt earlier. I don't have to rely on anyone else and local buses aren't great. There's no buses to the next village so I couldn't meet at baby groups or soft play unless I went into the next big town and back out again (it would take a hour on 2 buses for what is a 5 mins car ride)

Another very nervous learner here too. I'm a lot older than you - 46! - but have made it easier by going for an automatic. It does cut down on the sense of overwhelm. I also accept that it's going to take a long time. I've given up too many times before. Not this time.

Keep going! I started lessons at 31 and hated it. I used to cry after lessons and plead not to go. I had a nervous tummy so had to take endless diarrhoea tablets, tried stress remedies, tried everything..! It will click and like pp have said it's all practice, practice, practice! It's good that you have a good instructor. It might help if you can practice with family/friend who will give you a bit of tough love too - my instructor was patient and kind but also pushed me to achieve my full potential (which was what I needed to gain the confidence).

I had 65 lessons in total!! I hated driving at first and was so nervous. Fast forward 10 years and I absolutely love driving through the country side and can't imagine life without a car!!

It all takes time. You will get there :)

It took me 5 times to pass and I was the most anxious driver for years afterwards because I would hardly ever drive. I was too scared to go in to 5th gear, avoided turning right at junctions and avoided roundabouts

Then I had to start driving long distances and motorways, I am now very confident and even enjoy driving.

Hated every second of my driving lessons. I love driving now! Keep at it, I promise it isn't this crap forever. Once it's done it's invaluable

I learnt to drive when I was 45. Keep at it, you will get there.

In France it's 20 hours, then 3000km of accompanied driving with another driver (eg parent). So 7 lessons is just the beginning. Big girls pants and you'll get there.

I passed first time and after not many lessons - but I had lots of time driving in the family car. At my test, the tester commented that I had "tried my best to fail, but you've passed".

I never liked driving afterwards until post university I got a job which meant I drove about 10k miles a year. It was only about 10,000 miles into my driving career that I felt comfortable.

Now it's easy and I have driven across the country and down Europe. Grit your teeth, you'll get there. I have friends who had 70 lessons so I wouldn't get stressed about 7.

My teenager is learning to drive and needed 10 x 1 1/2 hour lessons before she felt comfortable with me in the passenger seat. Honestly 7 hours is nothing and it is such an important life skill so don't give up. Does it matter how long it takes to pass your test, apart from cost obviously.

I keep telling my DD traffic is so much busier now days than when I learnt to drive, 30 years ago, and some drivers are so impatient!

Keep going OP you will have so much freedom when you can drive. Good luck.

I learned when I was in my late 30s. Had to do my test 3 times. I don’t know how many lessons I had. Maybe 60 over the course of 2 years. The man said that you need an hour for every year of your age. I think I needed 2x.

I passed 5 years ago and it’s been brilliant. I love driving. I drove to France last year, through Holland and Belgium. Blasting the music on the stereo doing the speed limit on beautiful European motorways.

What I am saying is, if I can do it, you can too. It takes a while. Just let it. You’re learning.

Please don’t give up! It’s practice just like a PP said. Think about what your brain is trying to do - you have to learn SO many new things at once. It’s a lot to take in. When people talk about getting the knack of something, it’s because the movement (say balancing the clutch and accelerator at junctions) has to be practiced a lot. After enough practice, that balancing movement on the pedals will get stored in your brain (in the cerebellum). Once it’s stored, you don’t need to think sbout it any more - it just happens. It’s so much easier when you get to that point!

Your driving instructor should have explained this to you.

If you can bear it, I would suggest doing a ‘fun” activity like go-karting that will feed into driving practice skills without the stressy feeling of a lesson.

Kieth Code has written a brilliant book about riding motorbikes explains it as “having ten dollars worth of attention”. You’re using three dollars on steering, three dollars on the accelerator and five dollars on the clutch and gear change = you’re running out of attention, you can’t do everything at once. Once you’ve got some of the skills stored as automatic movements you won’t be using up your attention currency on them.

FWIW I learned to drive at 17 and passed my test after five lessons (this was ages ago). Learning to ride a motorbike at 30was SO MUCH hazarded but I got there and the difficulty taught be a lot about how the brain assimilates new skills.

Good luck!

NB: consider getting an automatic licence at first then upgrade to a manual licence later.

@Dillo10

Just learn on an automatic - much easier

This

7 hours is nothing, girl! I spent years doing bouts of lessons before I finally was forced into taking the test by moving rural. My husband loves driving and really didn't encourage me to take the wheel when we were urban. To any non-drivers out there planning a family, do it now. Practicing driving with a toddler and infant screaming in the back seat as you curse at your husband in the driver seat is the kind of misery that really had me questioning my I.Q. given the self-inflicted nature of that misery. What helped me a lot was taking lessons in my own car. Your instructor needs to be really good. I found a great one who treated every lesson like a test. Also, consider doing the intensive courses - like 10 hours over one weekend. Trust me, it will become second nature if you just stick with it to get through the test and your first few months of driving. I forbid you to give up after 7 lessons! I also encourage you not to switch to automatic.

YABU. Get in an automatic. 7 hours driving is nothing.
After 23 years of driving manuals I now drive an auto. Best. Decision. Ever!
In this country you sit in traffic, start, stop, start, stop, junction, park.
Automatic is your answer.

@BubblyBarbara

Learn automatic every decent car (land rover Mercedes even Porsche) is automatic nowadays anyway. Then think about all the fun places you can go in a years time

Yes to this.

I passed in an automatic (a Land Rover).

In my first lesson (with instructor, not my Land Rover), I was on 40mph within 30 mins.

I had tried with a manual.

Automatic is 1000 times easier. Takes so much stress away - rolling back on hills, gear changes, stalling - all gone.

So many cars are automatic now. All electric cars are - and this is probably what we’ll all be driving in years to come.

Go automatic!

Automatic is definitely easier. I learnt and passed my test in a manual so can drive either. With automatic you can concentrate on the road as the car almost drives itself. I would never go back to manual. Hope you do change OP then you will feel more confident with driving.

What is your age? I passed when I was 17. I think it's easier of you pass when younger I don't know why. A friend passed in her 30s took her 60 lessons and 3 tests but she still done it.

OP, it took me 6 tests and over 2 yrs of lessons before I passed. Id all but given up then my mam decide to take me out in her car and I was much more relaxed. I felt more confident as she didn't stop me every time I made a mistake, she sort of let me figure it out which was great.
Took my last test in my mams car and passed with only one minor.

Driving is such a weird thing when you first start, but much of it becomes muscle memory. Id have to stop and think before describing how to change gear for example but I do it millions of times a day with no issue.

Don't worry, it's a very useful skill to have but not the be all and end all. I'd keep going and see if it clicks, if not, no worries!

I’d recommend persevering with a manual. Yes automatic is easier to learn...but it limits which cars and other vehicles you can drive. You’ve only had 7 lessons and gears are probably the hardest thing to get your head around...it does come eventually.
I really struggled to learn to drive....I was 39 when I passed my test on the fifth attempt. I had moments like you in which I just wanted to ditch the whole idea too....but no, I knew I had to keep going. Just kept thinking of all the numpties I knew who could drive and decided if they could do it, so could I.
Best thing I ever did!

7 lessons is nothing. Keep going.