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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To give up driving?

113 replies

Namechange8471 · 07/10/2020 17:24

So I’ve just finished my lesson and I feel dreadful.
I have now done 7 hours and I honestly feel like giving up.
I struggle to even follow the road, I stall at junctions and even managed to puncture my instructors tyre.
My instructor is lovely, kind and patient but I hate every moment.

Has anyone eventually gotten the hang of it?

OP posts:

mynameisnotmichaelcaine · 08/10/2020 06:54

I learned for a year in a manual - I used to throw up before lessons, and I was shit. I swapped to an automatic and passed first time after two months. I am still not a huge fan of driving and I don't drive very far, but I'm really glad I didn't give up.

seayork2020 · 08/10/2020 06:56

It took me 7 years, and I had to take the test 5 times before I passed, I have not driven in the 20ish years since BUT still the best decision I have ever made to get it though

OfTheNight · 08/10/2020 08:14

Please don’t give up, I remember I struggled so much for the first few months(!) of lessons. Then one day, I got in the car and it just sort of clicked. Almost like when you learn to swim or ride a bike. It’s not easy learning to drive, you need to make mistakes to learn in the first place! Keep going but be nicer to yourself about it.

BinkyandBunty · 08/10/2020 08:25

Another vote for auto.

I passed my test first time, in my 30s, after 6 hours of lessons. 15 years down the track I've had zero issues with not having a manual licence.

Redolent · 08/10/2020 08:27

My husband had about 80 lessons (ouch!) before he passed. Funny thing is, his first instructor predicted that he’d need that many within a few hours. But it’s done now and makes life so so much easier. Good luck!

Whatifitallgoesright · 08/10/2020 09:02

Do persevere. I stopped and started due to finances and nerves and just not realising how it would improve my life. It takes longer for some people to develop the muscle memory. I used to get headaches after driving now it's all second nature and instinctive but that's only come through practice. Keep going.

Funkyslippers · 08/10/2020 09:07

Sorry, haven't read the whole thread but it also depends how much you want and need to drive. I learned when I was 17 but didn't really 'need' to drive as I got the bus everywhere anyway and got lifts from my parents. I had loads of lessons but had the wrong instructor for me, so never really got anywhere. I had a break from it, then when I was 20 I was desperate to learn as I wanted some independence so I found an amazing instructor and she got me through. After that, the freedom it gave me was amazing. But if you don't need to drive, then give yourself a break for now.

AriesTheRam · 08/10/2020 09:10

7 hours is nothing! You'll pick it up i promise.Im on around 23 lessons and I can drive now.I still make mistakes but they recommend an average of 40 lessons before you go in for your test so I'm not worrying too much.

AriesTheRam · 08/10/2020 09:11

I'm 40 by the way so much later starting than you

SurreyHillsGirl · 08/10/2020 09:20

Don't give up!

I think learning to drive is like trying to pat your head and your stomach at the same time. There is so much going on, you have to watch the road, other drivers, etc AND control a ton of metal. It's bloody mental!

It very much feels like you will NEVER pick it up, but with repetition and practice, you will get there. I used to look at other people driving and think they looked so natural and that I would never be like that, I would always be practically sitting on the wheel, but one day it all just 'clicks', you GET IT and then you are ready for your test.

I absolutely LOVE driving now and sometimes DH and I flip a coin as to who will drive as we both love to be behind the wheel.

Don't give up, you will regret it so much!

tttigress · 08/10/2020 09:22

You have done 7 hours, that is not much! I think you need 10,000 hours to master something.

I did not really feel confident until I was driving about 400 miles per week!!

Member984815 · 08/10/2020 09:25

Don't give up , I was like you but I got there in the end

Littlejacksmummy · 08/10/2020 09:32

Ive been driving for 6 years and now and again have the odd stall at a junction 😂 and tyres get punctured, it's part of the grim expensive realities of driving.

You will get there. You don't really start learning to drive until after you pass your test anyway. That's when you pick up all the bad habits 😂

CounsellorTroi · 08/10/2020 09:39

I agree about automatics. I passed in a manual 33 years ago after years of lessons, 4 different instructors and 5 test attempts. I had no one to practice with other than my mother who was herself a reluctant driver. I’ve only driven automatics for the last 20 years and they are great. Take the drudgery out of driving!

CounsellorTroi · 08/10/2020 09:42

One good thing about taking so long to pass was that having spent so much time behind the wheel I could not wait to get in the car and drive on my own. I’ve known people who passed first go who were really nervous about it.

Onekidnoclue · 08/10/2020 09:43

Keep going! Try to visualise yourself in a years time looking back and being so proud you kept going. Good luck. X

contrmary · 08/10/2020 09:45

YANBU to feel like this but for some people, me included, it takes much longer than seven hours to even begin to relax.

MeadowHay · 08/10/2020 09:58

I've had about 50hrs of lessons and I'm still not relaxed a lot of the time!! Especially if anything vaguely out-of-the-ordinary occurs like someone trying to cut in front of me or whatever

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 08/10/2020 10:08

Don't give up!!
7 hours really is nothing!

I wouldn't change to automatics.... It limits you massively.

They're more expensive to run.

And, when you're ancient they're MEGA dangerous-lots of deaths through unintended acceleration in elderly drivers.

You CAN do this! Good luck!

safariboot · 08/10/2020 10:10

It's really hard at first. It gets easier.

With no other practice, it took me about 100 hours of tuition in my late 20s. (2 hour lesson every week for nearly a year). But then I don't think my instructor was the best. 7 hours is bugger all though.

If you can have lessons more frequently that will help. But budget may get in the way of course.

DynamoKev · 08/10/2020 10:19

@IamtheDevilsAvocado

Don't give up!! 7 hours really is nothing!

I wouldn't change to automatics.... It limits you massively.

They're more expensive to run.

And, when you're ancient they're MEGA dangerous-lots of deaths through unintended acceleration in elderly drivers.

You CAN do this! Good luck!

That stuff about automatics is total bollocks.

All hybrid and electric cars are auto so there will be loads more autos in future.

There have been very few deaths in the UK from the unintended acceleration issue. There were a few in the USA, now mostly addressed by safety interlocks so you need to have a foot on the brak before you can shift out of park into a a motion gear.

SomewhereInbetween1 · 08/10/2020 10:33

OP this was absolutely me! I was so shit for so long and one day it just clicked for me and I got much better really quickly. Keep it up, your body and mind are still learning how to work together with the controls, spot hazards, be aware of the space around you etc, there's SO much to it and there's no shame in it taking a while to get used to. You're doing just fine 😊

ILikeTrains · 08/10/2020 11:08

"I wouldn't change to automatics.... It limits you massively."

I find what limits you massively is giving up lessons and never driving again because you're finding the process to be too much for you.

Or persevering with a manual, eventually passing and then not driving to certain places because you're fearful.

If an automatic gets you driving when otherwise you wouldn't then do it. It's rubbish that it limits you. We're not talking about the 80's when automatics were clunky, expensive, prone to expensive repairs and hard to come by. I have never found any issue with choosing to drive automatics. (I passed first in an automatic, then later in a manual because everyone told me that a manual would be so much better - I now never drive a manual and never intend to, total waste of time and money on those lessons and test.)

toffeekiwi · 08/10/2020 11:12

Keep at it, I read somewhere that people tend to need at least an hour of lessons for each year of their age so unless you are an extremely precocious law breaking 7 year old I wouldn't worry. I hated driving at first but love it now.

Breakupcharlie · 08/10/2020 11:25

Do you have a good friend/family member who will assist you/let you use their car to go around an empty large car park? To get used to setting off without stalling? Once I realised it was my anxiety making me stall (worried about the people behind me huffing) and not my ability to actually pull of in my own time I got on much better.

As PP posters have said 7 lessons are nothing. I think by that point I was barely getting into 3rd gear!

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