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Original poster

To give up driving?

113 replies

Namechange8471 · 07/10/2020 17:24

So I’ve just finished my lesson and I feel dreadful.
I have now done 7 hours and I honestly feel like giving up.
I struggle to even follow the road, I stall at junctions and even managed to puncture my instructors tyre.
My instructor is lovely, kind and patient but I hate every moment.

Has anyone eventually gotten the hang of it?

OP posts:
TheExecutionOfAllThings · 07/10/2020 18:36

I hated every single lesson I took. I’d absolutely dread leaving work knowing I’d have to sit in the car. It got better, but I still hated going.

Then I got my own car and still dreaded driving for the first few weeks, and suddenly everything fell into place. Now I get this immense feeling of freedom once I’m sitting behind the wheel and I love it!

Stick with it - it’s worth it once you get there!

Unsure33 · 07/10/2020 18:40

Definitely go for automatic. I still don’t like driving but I manage so it’s worth it in the end .

Elai1978 · 07/10/2020 18:44

I learned to drive a car when I was 12 so never really experienced issues actually driving when I had lessons, I needed to learn about using roads and reversing round corners etc which was fairly easy and passed first time. No doubt you have learnt things in life which have come naturally, we are all different. Get as many hours in the driving seat as you can and it will gradually become second nature.

BubblyBarbara · 07/10/2020 18:45

Learn automatic every decent car (land rover Mercedes even Porsche) is automatic nowadays anyway. Then think about all the fun places you can go in a years time

LillianGish · 07/10/2020 18:45

Do you get any practice between lessons? Otherwise have you thought of doing an intensive course where you drive for about five hours a day over a week? It will take you longer learn at 30 than it would have done when you were 17. I also think you need to be really motivated - why do you want to learn? I learned at 21 because I needed a licence for my first job - I never bothered as a student because I had no need to drive and I couldn’t have afforded a car anyway.

StringyPotatoes · 07/10/2020 18:48

I learned in my kid 20s after years of lessons and nearly gave up so many times. I spent a long time being afraid of traffic and then being so overwhelmed with reading the road and the car and changing gears and reading signs and and and..... It was honestly the hardest thing I have ever done.

But every moment was worth it for the freedom and joy that driving gives me now. It will get so much easier, I promise. When you pass it may get harder again as you navigate new places and situations but stick at it and it will be worth it!

Bethiboo40 · 07/10/2020 18:52

Don't give up xx
I started to learn at 22 took about a hundred lessons and 7 different instructors (no lie!) Failed 5 tests and fucked it off after failing the 5th time and gave up completely.
10 years later I got a job that was a 12 minute car journey to get to but took 2 buses 1hour and 20mins. It really pissed me off having to leave for work at 7.15 to start for 9.00 and so was determined to get back to learning. Was the best thing I ever done (after giving birth of course) No more wading through the sweaty pits of other miserable faces going to work. The best thing for me now is not having to hang around waiting for DH to decide when he's ready to take me shopping, if I want to go at 6.00 in the morning or 9.00 at night that's my choice. The freedom will be sooooo worth it hun xx Keep at it

steppemum · 07/10/2020 18:52

my son learnt to drive last year.
He was 17 which is optimal time.

We took him out to a disused airfield and let him learn to start up and drive off in the car.
he did something like 5 hours with us. Once he could do the basic car control then he started lessons.
Between each lesson I took him round and round and round the quiet roads near us, practising what he had learnt.

So, only 20 lessons, but about 40 hours practice in between.

7 lessons is nothing. Just take it one step at a time.

Original poster
Namechange8471 · 07/10/2020 18:53

Wetweekend99

Sorry to sound dumb but what’s the deal with automatic? Is it not gears involved at all?

OP posts:
titsbumfannythelot · 07/10/2020 18:53

Keep going, you will have a moment where it all clicks.

Driving is one of the best things I have ever done, it gave me so much independence.

You can do it.

WFHWF · 07/10/2020 18:55

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Nousernameforme · 07/10/2020 18:59

I couldn't get the hang of a manual car I had loads of lessons years ago but was always stalling and the changing gears thing threw me. I am now doing lessons in an automatic and it's so much easier all you have to do is steer and keep to the right speed.

Topseyt · 07/10/2020 19:00

You don't need to change gear in an automatic. There is no clutch pedal, just a brake and accelerator. You can't stall them.

It is the gearbox that is automatic. Therefore the car effectively does the thinking for you with regard to what gear is required.

You just put it into drive and when you release the brake it will immediately start to putter slowly off. You then just control it using the accelerator or the foot take.

QuestionableMouse · 07/10/2020 19:01

www.croftcircuit.co.uk/experiences/new-starter

Something like this would probably do you good because you can learn to drive the car without the stress of other drivers. This one is for junior drivers but it might be worth ringing your local track to see what they offer.

Topseyt · 07/10/2020 19:02

Foot brake, not take. Ridiculous autocorrect!!

doublehalo · 07/10/2020 19:12

Keep going OP! This is how I started.

They pass you if they feel you're safe on the road so remember that. Just don't do anything silly in a stressed out moment. You'll get the hang of it eventually.

Good luck!

Whatsmydoggy · 07/10/2020 19:17

Don't give up it took me 18 months and 4 tests before I passed. It was extremely frustrating I just couldn't get the hang of it all. I was exactly like you to being with (probably worse)! I passed at the beginning of this year and can honestly say I didn't fully understand driving and feel confident until I went out on the road myself.

HandfulofDust · 07/10/2020 19:19

7 lessons isn't much at all. It took me a year of 3 hours of lessons a week to learn. I hated every lesson. I'm so glad I persisted. You could always switch to automatic though to make life easier.

Merryoldgoat · 07/10/2020 19:19

7 hours?! Come on. You’ll get there.

I nearly hit a cyclist on my first test!

StayCool · 07/10/2020 19:22

Honestly, keep going.
7 lessons is really early days.
I had 24!

Learning to drive is one of the BEST things you will ever do. It's worth it.

The80sweregreat · 07/10/2020 19:23

' you only learn to drive properly after you've passed your test!' Lots of folk told me this and it's so true. Keep at it!

BrumBoo · 07/10/2020 19:29

I was utterly rubbish when I first started. First instructor made me feel terrible, he didn't last long. Second was brilliant, but I felt like giving up at every wobble (and there were some stinkers - did a full 180 skid in the middle of a dual carriageway). Unfortunately, personal circumstances meant I had to give up until very recently, and funnily enough when I got back behind the wheel after many years, it just clicked. OK, not perfectly and still took a good few months to pass my test (including lockdown), but it seems stepping away (and having a few more years of horrible buses) gave me the push I needed.

Dont give up, once it 'clicks' then you'll be fine. Anything worth doing takes time.

willstarttomorrow · 07/10/2020 19:40

As others have said, 7 hours is nothing. I started to learn in my early 30's and after several lessons chuked it in. On reflection my teacher at the time was not the right one for me, knocked my confidence, insisted on 2 hour lessons which suited him but I was not ready for and was also was not really a very nice man.

However.... Several years later I really had no choice but to learn to drive and those lessons must have taught me more than I thought. I had an assessment lesson with my (fantastic) new teacher who told me I would only need 15 hours! So lesson number 1 he instructed me to drive to the ring road around our very busy city which is a dual-carriage way and it was fine. He was so calm and just had an amazing ethos of getting stuck in. So reversing around corner meant quite difficult ones on a hill because 'what is the point of doing an easy one when you just need to be able to reverse around any corner'. It worked. I took my lessons over a few weeks building up frequency and length towards my test date and passed first time.

One thing I would recommend, particularly if you have no one to practice with between lessons, is trying to make sure they are not too spaced out. Just doing a lesson once a week means you forget too much inbetween. Get your theory test booked and passed so you can book a practical test, there is a long wait and you do not want to be in a position when you are ready but have to wait weeks because you have left booking until you feel ready.

A good instructor will be able to give you an idea of how many hours you need rather than string you along (instructor number 1). Get your test booked and then book in the hours required up until this date. Most people have something they struggle with but finally it will click and you will be fine. Good luck.

ILikeTrains · 07/10/2020 19:45

Another vote for switching to automatic, honestly it's a dream. I've never understood why people are so precious about learning to drive a manual. An automatic will allow you to concentrate on the road and what the traffic is doing rather than being in a constants state of angst every time you have to move off in first gear.

Good luck.

granny24 · 07/10/2020 19:52

I was nearly seventy when I went to live in another country. I was never a happy driver, but loved the freedom and independence it gave me. After three years of not driving I realised that if I was widowed in a foreign country I would be really stuck. I bought myself a car and drove it home alone, on the “wrong” side of the road. I was terrified, but forced myself to do it. I am now a confidentish driver, and love having my freedom back. Stick with it sister. You will never regret it.