To wonder why its become ok to be so overtly cruel and unprofessional to overweight patients, and why do we (overweight patients) tolerate it?

[PasstheBucket89]

Its something ive experienced first hand, i know others have experienced over and over again, i used to work in a community role dealing often with alchoholics and ex drug users and other forms of 'bodily abuse' and they didnt recieve the same level of contempt either. from us or higher up medical staff.

Im currently expecting, due to a raised BMI i took the glucose test, i don't mind i understand why (to test for GD) ive never ever had it in past pregnancies and dont have it this time. I don't mind taking growth scans as i do understand why, the baby is actually small, likely due to my hypermesis.

Well, ive had many microaggressions that i braved out but this was totally over the line. At the growth scan i was asked why my Glucose test wasn't on the system, i said id definitely been but not sure why, i wasn't angry just assumed a system error., but i was concerned that i could have a bad result and not know. She seemed annoyed (midwife A), Midwife B appeared who actually did my test and had written it down and seemed miffed. She said must have been a system error and she launched the notepad on the desk and said "i dont know how but its normal" gesturing at me and left. Im ashamed to say i said nothing, my face i think said it all, i quickly got up and left, i was also angry at midwife A for not saying anything, that could be U. Ive made a formal complaint, but truth is I imagine there will be little said and buisness as usual. when i go back im likely to see her again. , but i wonder why on earth its got this bad and what should i say if it arises again??.

I know you feel op. When I was pregnant on my 3rd child I had the 20 week growth scan. Midwife was very rough, didn't talk to me during scan. I asked was everything OK and she said, well from what I can see, bearing in mind there's about 10cm of fat between your abdomen and uterus. I was shocked and so embarrassed. I was 18 stone, obese yes but not super obese. She finished, left some photos on the bed and said I could only get the top of your babies head and walked out. My DH and two dd were waiting outside and I just wanted to run away. I never reported her, I should have in hindsight. I had no problems during my pregnancy because of my weight and all my children were born over 9lbs and very healthy.

Yes OP i could have written this myself!
I've always been overweight and I have to say the rudest medical treatment I have ever received was during both of my pregnancies.

My first midwife would not believe the blood pressure readings she was doing were correct (normal bp) and sent me to hospital/ GP five times during my first pregnancy, with comments such as "women like you..." and "women with issues like yours"... I had no issues, my bp was always normal.

The same with GD, I had another midwife who seemed genuinely annoyed that I didn't have it as I was "in such a high risk category" (apart from BMI I had no other risk factors).

The first time I ever had my bump measured was at 36 weeks with my second pregnancy and even then the midwife said "it's not as accurate as it would be if you were smaller".

I do understand they need to put safety first and I am willing to go along with anything required but it makes me feel so sad, as if I was just irresponsible to be fat and get pregnant.

You should try being young and/or single - I am neither, but I saw those who were spoken to very differently when I was in hospital with DD. One woman was given a 'use contraception properly' lecture, but when I asked the midwife which contraceptives were suitable when breastfeeding, she couldn't answer; none of the midwives addressed me (or DH) in the tone I saw with some of the others - DH noticed it too.

I had my first dc at 19 i know a too well!! @bathorshower

[quote PasstheBucket89]@VinylDetective, thats terrible, sadly someone in a
due date group im in was told similar, its always an unforgiveable thing to say.[/quote]
Yes, it was a dreadful thing to say. It’s beyond awful to hear that it’s still going on.

Op I totally agree and I’m glad you complained please if you can update with the result of the complaint.

I was very very slim until I had my daughter in my late 20’s. With my family history I firmly believe this is due to a particular thyroid condition which in my family certainly seems to be triggered by pregnancy and birth (and there’s research that supports this)

While pregnant I was very slim, was only a size 6 when I got pregnant. I too had GD - again there’s a family history of this and indeed it’s KNOWN to have a largely GENETIC factor, I actually had to push to be tested!

Since gaining weight after having dd (and I do mean “after” As like the other mothers in my family pregnancy and the 1st year isn’t when I gained but in the 2nd year) I’ve grown heartily sick of hcps blaming pretty much every condition on the weight

Even when the conditions are ones I’ve had since childhood and there’s no reason they are related to my weight:

Asthma/eczema/hay fever
Endometriosis
Ibs (misdx I think, I know there’s endo scarring on bowel and stomach which is what’s probably causing symptoms)
Sinus issues (prob related in part to the asthma but also a facial bone issue)
My physical disability (spinal condition likely caused by car accident I was in when I was again very slim)

Also every run of the mill infection that most people get on occasion (colds, flu, chest infections, stomach flu) the chest infections if anything are down to a combo of asthma and parents who smoke like chimneys! They’re far less frequent since I left home - aged 17 and a size 6!

At the moment I have a RELATIVELY good gp who doesn’t berate me about my weight because she knows

I barely eat
I’m on several meds that increase weight
I can’t exercise much due to the disability

@mitzik - I’ve had the same crap with hcps trying to make out normal test results were poor because of my weight! That’s deeply unethical in my opinion and I’ve complained when that’s happened!

@mellowbird85 and @EugenesAxe why do you think it’s remotely acceptable for hcps to be “blunt” or even “severe” with patients who are obese? What purpose do you think it serves THE PATIENTS?

Because it’s been widely and robustly proven that “shaming” patients for unhealthy behaviours DOESN’T WORK. That is why patients who are smokers etc aren’t shamed but instead supported, so why aren’t obese patients treated the same? Instead treated as less worthy than other patients with equally if not more unhealthy habits?

There’s absolutely NO scientific or health care basis for doing so - quite the opposite in fact - so why are we still letting them get away with this shit?!

As for “well if you’re having a water birth and fall unconscious they might be worried about lifting you out” - any hcp who’s worked in elderly care or with the severely physically disabled will know there is equipment, techniques and procedures for lifting patients out of tubs in such circumstances! Makes me wonder what’s wrong with midwifery training if they’re not taught this most basic aspect of nursing!

Interestingly with covid and gp appointments being conducted by telephone I’ve found as a patient I’m being

Listened to properly
Getting correct, appropriate and effective treatment
Not getting told every 5 mins that everything is my fault cos I’m fat!

Funny that eh?!

This was really rude and unprofessional and you were right to complain. However being overweight is unhealthy and therefore you are more likely to have multiple health issues and complications. I think it’s good they are doing all the tests to keep you and baby safe

I was treated like absolute shit when I had my last baby because I’m overweight. Very overweight to be fair but didn’t deserve the grief and hideous treatment I got. I’m so sorry for you.

@Graphista

Actually it takes ages to get a hoist etc. It’s Potentially dangerous for obese women to have water births which is why it isn’t allowed.

"As for “well if you’re having a water birth and fall unconscious they might be worried about lifting you out” - any hcp who’s worked in elderly care or with the severely physically disabled will know there is equipment, techniques and procedures for lifting patients out of tubs in such circumstances! Makes me wonder what’s wrong with midwifery training if they’re not taught this most basic aspect of nursing! "

@Graphista Hoists are not routinely kept on maternity wards. Labour wards have pool evacuation procedures but the guidelines and BMI limit are in place for women's and midwives safety. Women can of course decide to request care outside of guidelines in which case an individualised risk assessment will be undertaken. In the case of a pool birth against guidelines for raised BMI, a partner may be expected to evacuate the labouring women. However asking any professional to deliver care outside of guidelines is a risk to them and their professional registration particularly one that has a duty of care to others.

@FairfaxAikman

I agree with you OP. I feel like if you are overweight in pregnancy that is ALL the medical professionals focus on. I get that it's a risk factor, but if everything else is fine they shouldn't treat you like you are automatically going to have problems.

With my first I wasn't allowed a water birth as they said I wouldn't be agile enough to get out of the water, despite being the one at my antenatal class who was choosing to sit cross legged on the floor at 35+weeks.
In my notes it said they were concerned I would "refuse" to get out and that angered me so much - as if I'd choose to put my son at risk.

There were other things that happened too but that rankles the most.

If we have another I plan on being far firmer and will standing my ground.

It’s more that if you fell unconscious pulling you out of the pool would probably injure the staff

any hcp who’s worked in elderly care or with the severely physically disabled will know there is equipment, techniques and procedures for lifting patients out of tubs in such circumstances!

Birthing pools/rooms aren't routinely fitted with such equipment. The appropriate manoeuvre can take time, a luxury that isn't always available during childbirth.

@Hercwasonaroll

Some of the messages being given are accurate though even if you don't like them.

If you are obese, it is up to the midwives to decide on a water birth. If something went wrong they have to be able to move you.

The same with GP visits. Being obese does increase your chances of getting diseases and dying younger.

My GP pisses me off because they keep telling my FIL he is healthy at 20 stone and diabetic. He clearly isn't healthy.

Agreed.

If her comment was directed at your weight, that is very unprofessional.

But there's also the fact that the NHS is on it's knees and some NHS staff are overworked. Obesity related illnesses are growing and adding to the strain on the NHS. And some people do not want to face up to the harsh reality of this.

It's a little entitled of you to expect to be given a waterbirth when you are obese and have no idea what state you'll be in during labour. The fact is that you will be too heavy to be supported out of a birthing pool if needed. They are putting you and your baby's safety first in that respect.

But again, that comment is unacceptable if it was intended how you interpreted it.

Are you sure you haven't misread this? Her reading went missing then she found it. Could she POSSIBLY have said

"I don't know how (this mistake happened) but it (her reading )is normal"

That's exactly how I read it. Are you sensitive about your weight? I think you might have misinterpreted.

Strange the attitude considering there's a large (no pun intended) proportion of medical staff who are hardly lithe themselves!!

I've had two occasions where I've stood up for myself as an overweight patient. I was refused even a referral for diagnosis because of what the form said about BMI. After 18 months and a massive deduction in bmi I managed to get a copy of the form and it doesn't say I can't be refused but asks if the causes of the high bmi have been addressed. I got mad and insisted on a referral and used their own form against them.

I've constantly been told the causes for my problems are being overweight. I'm sure if I went in with a missing limb they would tell me to loose weight! Shocking.

@Houndabouttown why does it take "ages" to get a hoist etc? Poor plannning? Lack of space?

You have a duty of care to THESE mothers too surely ?

Sounds like a lot of excuses to me!

@Kitchencomposter yes! That pisses me off too the hypocrisy!

Worst for me was being lectured at by a dr who was easily at least twice my weight! He was struggling to breathe, sweating profusely (cold day, cold office) and florid faced!

[quote PasstheBucket89]@VinylDetective, thats terrible, sadly someone in a
due date group im in was told similar, its always an unforgiveable thing to say.[/quote]
Obese women are sadly more likely to have a stillbirth. Why is it unforgivable to inform them of this?

@Kitchencomposter

Very true 😂

Some HCP are rude to overweight patients. They’re usually judgmental and rude to other people too. I think it’s because it’s viewed as self inflicted? I’m not sure.

[quote Graphista]@Houndabouttown why does it take "ages" to get a hoist etc? Poor plannning? Lack of space?

You have a duty of care to THESE mothers too surely ?

Sounds like a lot of excuses to me!

@Kitchencomposter yes! That pisses me off too the hypocrisy!

Worst for me was being lectured at by a dr who was easily at least twice my weight! He was struggling to breathe, sweating profusely (cold day, cold office) and florid faced!

[/quote]
when a woman is bleeding heavily or the baby’s heart is extremely slow, the time it takes to call for a hoist and get the woman attached to it could be the difference between life and death

@Graphista

If you’ve ever been at a crash C section you’ll understand. There’s about 5 minutes to get baby out, not hours to go find a hoist, put the soaking wet unconscious woman into the material bit etc. It’s for the mother and baby’s safety to deny them a water birth. I’m not allowed a water birth because I’m high risk. I’m not fat. It’s for my own safety and that of my baby.

my friend who is overweight said she was so fed up of every illness being blamed on her weight that she was going to take up smoking so they could blame that instead! That made me think of years ago when I had a bad cough that wouldn't go away, the guys at work told me they were taking bets on if it was TB or lung cancer (funny guys.) Anyway I had xray, antibiotics blood tests all sorts, doctor ran out of ideas so he said, "Are you sure you don't smoke?" I said I definitely didn't. He said, "Maybe you should start." We both started laughing and I think I nearly died in the coughing fit that followed. A few months later, and about 4 stone, it went as mysteriously as it came but I never started smoking.

So you can even get blamed for not smoking and by the time I was OK I was 5 stone and kept getting asked if I had anorexia.

@Graphista The duty of care is telling the mother a water birth is not safe.

I've had a crash cs. I can understand if there are other risk factors too but to blanket refuse ALL overweight mothers a water birth if they and baby are otherwise healthy I don't understand, also don't understand why hoists etc aren't easily to hand in obstetrics if so many mothers are unreasonably fat!

Perhaps Midwife B is a bully and Midwife A is afraid to tell her about it. My Dd1 left after 2 years of training due to bullying, apparently it is rife in Midwifery . Congratulations on your baby. l hope the hyperemisis subsides very soon