To wonder why its become ok to be so overtly cruel and unprofessional to overweight patients, and why do we (overweight patients) tolerate it?

[PasstheBucket89]

Its something ive experienced first hand, i know others have experienced over and over again, i used to work in a community role dealing often with alchoholics and ex drug users and other forms of 'bodily abuse' and they didnt recieve the same level of contempt either. from us or higher up medical staff.

Im currently expecting, due to a raised BMI i took the glucose test, i don't mind i understand why (to test for GD) ive never ever had it in past pregnancies and dont have it this time. I don't mind taking growth scans as i do understand why, the baby is actually small, likely due to my hypermesis.

Well, ive had many microaggressions that i braved out but this was totally over the line. At the growth scan i was asked why my Glucose test wasn't on the system, i said id definitely been but not sure why, i wasn't angry just assumed a system error., but i was concerned that i could have a bad result and not know. She seemed annoyed (midwife A), Midwife B appeared who actually did my test and had written it down and seemed miffed. She said must have been a system error and she launched the notepad on the desk and said "i dont know how but its normal" gesturing at me and left. Im ashamed to say i said nothing, my face i think said it all, i quickly got up and left, i was also angry at midwife A for not saying anything, that could be U. Ive made a formal complaint, but truth is I imagine there will be little said and buisness as usual. when i go back im likely to see her again. , but i wonder why on earth its got this bad and what should i say if it arises again??.

The whole MW profession needs an overhaul IMO. Sack the lot of them and start again! How many awful MW threads do we read on MN every week? Perhaps MNHQ would like to start a campaign. There was a recent blog about consent and birth choice and I can’t help but think that incompetent and rude MW are part of the whole birth/consent issue. In no other medical situation are you offered a post incident “reflections” chat. If I had surgery on my leg and there were issues, I wouldn’t be invited in for a chat.

Urgh- you poor thing! But you've done 31 weeks! You're amazing- just 9 left

@PanamaPattie

The whole MW profession needs an overhaul IMO. Sack the lot of them and start again! How many awful MW threads do we read on MN every week? Perhaps MNHQ would like to start a campaign. There was a recent blog about consent and birth choice and I can’t help but think that incompetent and rude MW are part of the whole birth/consent issue. In no other medical situation are you offered a post incident “reflections” chat. If I had surgery on my leg and there were issues, I wouldn’t be invited in for a chat.

To give a bit of perspective, most people only start threads when they have/have had a problem.

Therefore the balance could be skewed.

I'm white, normal weight, reasonably well spoken and I was treated by a lot of midwives throughout both pregnancies as though I was a complete idiot 🙄. So god knows what it must be like to be BAME, overweight or just come across as uneducated.

They just seem to assume we're a bunch of idiots who know absolutely nothing about our own bodies.

I know on other 'midwife bashing' threads, some midwives have been quite upset about the comments, which is completely understandable. I'm sure some of you are lovely but too many are patronising and some downright unpleasant. Maybe they don't start out that way and are just ground down by the system? I've very rarely been spoken to like that by a GP or practice nurse, though.

I've been having similar (but nowhere near so arsey - I suspect my resting bitch face and ability to draw blood from instinctively adopting my grandmother's clipped tones when irked have something to do with it) conversations with doctors for many, many years.

They always seem so disappointed that my blood pressure, heart rate, blood sugar and other test results are so very, very normal - I've lost count of the number of times I've been asked 'Are you sure? Really?' Well, you can test it again, I'm perfectly happy to oblige with yet another test, but it was fine 2/6/10 weeks/3/6/9 months ago and I don't think anything has changed in the last few days that would make a difference to the most recent result.

The most recent one was when going for the obligatory You're Knocking on a Bit Now, Love checkup I was pressganged into when trying to book a (completely normal, by the way) smear test. I phoned up for the results 'The Nurse will call you soon because there's something she needs to discuss with you'. OK, so something dodgy's shown up, fair enough, probably blood sugar, maybe cholesterol.

She calls the next day and, yes, my blood sugar is too high, as is my cholesterol and I 'need to stop eating all the cakes, fried foods, chocolates, pies and sweets that we all love so much'. And cut down on salt because high blood pressure puts you at risk of dying. Hang on. I don't eat any of those things. What exactly are the numbers we're talking about here?

I had to ask her three times before she answered.

Blood sugar was - normal.
Cholesterol was - normal. Even with taking a medication that is known to raise levels. The ratio was perfect between 'good' and 'bad'.
And my blood pressure? A healthy normal, if not a little low. Which is what always happens, as I was specifically told years ago to slightly increase sodium because my blood pressure is so low that I often faint if I don't.

I appreciate the concern and yes, it would obviously be a very good thing if I were to be lighter because I could spend more on clothes - but when they get to the point of lying about test results to meet their confirmation bias, they really aren't engendering trust in their advice.

I'm past getting upset by it now. Because if I'm getting upset, I'm not making sure that my actual medical conditions that I have had since childhood and completely independently of being overweight, underweight and everything in between are being effectively treated.

However, if somebody were actually rude to me, I would complain. Politely and calmly. But very strongly.

How “obese” are you OP? It’s not something my really quite overweight sister experienced but my friend who is very, very overweight has had problems with healthcare.

I just wonder - they seem to think fat is ok but really fat isn’t on.

It’s a bizarre attitude for healthcare professionals to display, I must say.

What she said was awful but I think doctors do have a responsibility to be severe to patients that endanger their health - in whatever way. Thinking overweight/ obese people are fair game for snide comments and digs, more than underweight/ smokers/ drug takers/ drinkers etc., isn’t on though.

Disappointed that 36% think you are unreasonable

Always amazes me that medical staff get away with behaviour that. I would be disciplined or fired for

It hasn’t got this bad. It was always like this. It was 44 years ago that I was told that at my weight I was heading for a stillbirth. They seem to think they can be as rude and upsetting as they like when you’re fat.

I believe it, I had the opposite: I’m very slim and when my GC came back positive they insisted that I must have not followed the rules re no eating beforehand (I did follow the rules) and made me take it a second time. Only then did they accept the positive. So yes, it some nurses mind GC test = is the patient overweight.

I think it's fair for midwives to refuse water births to patients they dont think they'll be able to offer physical help to if something goes wrong. They're responsible for your care, what if you fall unconscious and they cant get you out?
Unfortunately, obesity is a risk factor in your pregnancy and it affects how they're able to treat you. I think you'll find drug addicts and such get equal "judgement".
If she did gesture and it was clear she meant "by the size of you I dont see how you've got a healthy reading" then yes you should complain.
But they have to do these things to check your baby isn't being harmed by you being obese, just as they would if you were smoking during pregnancy.

@MitziK
I have had this myself on several occasions. It's almost disappointment on their part that all my results are normal.
At one appointment when I had a really bad flare up of hidradenitis supportive (HS) the rude male Gp told me it was because I was diabetic. I just said "really" in an annoyed tone and he had to look at my records to check that I was telling the truth.
I am not diabetic and HS has nothing to do with diabetes.
No excuses for my weight, I have lost seven stone and just a little more to go. Only thing I need to watch now is my blood pressure as it's quite low.

@VinylDetective, thats terrible, sadly someone in a
due date group im in was told similar, its always an unforgiveable thing to say.

That’s awful getting treated like that.

I was obese when I was pregnant, but didn’t get any jip from the midwives or any professionals, apart from being told to take aspirin every day. One thing was that they didn’t test me for diabetes as I wasn’t obese enough, and I pointed out several times that I was obese and diabetes runs in the family (my dad, who has never been overweight in his life has it). However towards the end of pregnancy I started losing weight and they then tested me for gestational diabetes (and yes, I did have it). Difference may be that the area I live in does have a lot of obese people (when I raised my concern about being overweight to the consultant, he shrugged and said that I was just a pretty average patient)

But, on the internet (particularly MN) that’s where i see all the fat shaming

I can't fault the maternity care that I am receiving but I have been disbelieved or treated badly before due to my weight. I don't know why people think that they need to treat anorexics nicely but obese people as lesser beings. An eating disorder is an eating disorder, and you shouldn't be treated badly because you have the one version and not the other.

Throughout both my pregancies I was high risk due to age and weight. I did all I was told, but with the second I was much more vocal about calling them out on various things - backed up by research I took with me! Our local hospital treats everyone as if they have left school with no qualifications and I had a fantastic community midwife who pointed me in the right direction of research!

I had more issues with the registrar but did complain about him as he refused to listen to me!

I have recently made an official complaint about a locum GP who at a pill review appointment sat there and told me if I didn't lose weight I would die, repeatedly in front of my 5 and 3 year old. A simple look at my notes would indicate this conversation was not appropriate due to over factors I am seeing the doctor for!

Oh and anecdotally all of my friends who have had Gestational Diabetes have not been overweight to start with! One is a recovered anorexic.

Sophie Hagen writes a lot about this.

my friend who is overweight said she was so fed up of every illness being blamed on her weight that she was going to take up smoking so they could blame that instead!

my colleague in hospital told the midwife she thought the baby was coming - the midwife told her not to be silly and said to a colleague that asian women always make such a fuss. It was her 3rd baby - she was right and her husband had to catch the baby as it came out

Some of the messages being given are accurate though even if you don't like them.

If you are obese, it is up to the midwives to decide on a water birth. If something went wrong they have to be able to move you.

The same with GP visits. Being obese does increase your chances of getting diseases and dying younger.

My GP pisses me off because they keep telling my FIL he is healthy at 20 stone and diabetic. He clearly isn't healthy.

That sounds shit OP and definitely rude.

However I think some of the other examples are people taking factual messages personally. It’s a fact that pregnancy is riskier if you’re overweight. It is only right that affected patients are made aware of this. I have a condition that makes it more likely to miscarry. It’s not a personal Insult for someone to tell me that. Same as it’s not an insult for someone to tell an obese patient the risks involved in their pregnancy.

Hospitals have guidelines for water births and there is a cutoff for BMI. This is because if there is an emergency they may not be able to get an obese patient out the water quick enough and there may be fatalities. It doesn’t matter if you’re fit. You may go unconscious and then it’s up to others to get you out.

I remember at my booking appointment the midwife was working out my bmi and said “oh you’re the same height as the lady who was in here before, thankfully you’re not as fat as her. So many of our ladies are very fat these days”. She might be right but her tone was horrible and my bmi was healthy but you can imagine how she treats her bigger women.

You lost me at "microaggressions". Do people really talk like this ?

I had my son in 2010 when I was 24. I am 5ft 7" and was a size 14 bottom and 12 top when I got pregnant.
My midwife was horrible and I actually stopped eating properly because of her comments.
From the get go she kept telling me how obese I was and how high risk my pregnancy would be.
During my first heartbeat scan, she dug the Doppler alot deeper than she needed to and when I winced, she told me she couldn't find the heartbeat because there was so much fat in the way.
I got upset thinking there was something wrong with my baby because there was no heartbeat.
She got her colleague to have a go who found the heartbeat straight away without having to dig deep.
She was adamant that I had gestational diabetes because I was so "obese", so sent me for the GTT test.
That came back negative and she actually seemed annoyed and pissed off that I didn't have it.
All the way through she kept telling me I needed to watch what I was eating because I was gaining weight. My son actually measured accurately all the way through and was 7lb 9 when born at 41 weeks.
I developed SPD at 7 months pregnant and she had a field day with that one.
It was inevitable apparently because I was obese.
I was in alot of pain but she didn't offer any advice or help.
What she didn't realise was I was only eating around 700 calories a day because of her and when she weighed me at 9 months pregnant she was taken aback because I had only gained 3lbs during my pregnancy.
She made my pregnancy miserable and I will never forgive her for that

Havelock yet a different midwife (afterwards) said she would have allowed it had I presented to her in active labour. DH is an ex rugby player and more than capable of lifting me too.

However my issue is not so much the refusal but the way it was framed as me being stubborn.

Aside from my weight (which is linked to MH issues) I had no other risk factors - my B0 and heart rate are below average and my GTT bloods were back to my hasting level after two hours.