AIBU, to think these pictures were staged

[60sbird]

Would anyone actually allow their children to make a mess like this, I know I wouldn’t
metro.co.uk/2020/10/05/these-are-the-uks-messiest-bedrooms-of-2020-13371611/

Considering the horrors of Hoarders, YABU to doubt these are real, as sad as that is.

If I needed to stage a messy room for a contest, I could easily dump drawers of clothes and piles of towels on the floor. With kids, it's easy enough to throw toys around, too.

But some of those photos show what looks like an accumulation of days (if not weeks) of food wrappers, not to mention actual filth (crumbs, etc. scattered all over the place). Who would normally have those on hand? Who would willingly make such a mess just to enter a contest to win a bed, knowing that you then have to clean it up yourself?

Sure, we'll just throw out the childrens birthday and Christmas presents that their family bought them and they still use/play with regularly. I'm sure that will go down well with the children and their grandparents etc who spent money on them.

My house is just really fucking small. We don't have a lot of money, we aren't constantly buying new stuff, my children are tiny and clothes can last them for years. But its amazing how much space gets taken up by the stuff they get just for birthdays and Christmas from family. They write lists of what presents they might like and I allocate one item from each list to each family member, although there are some family members who don't ask what the children actually want and just turn up with bags of bloody stuff. Every year I do go through the toy boxes and throw out anything damaged or that doesn't get used, and then Christmas comes and I can't move in my house again! I'm a pretty minimilist kind of person, I hate clutter and mess. I like a space for everything and everything in its space. Unfortunately I seem to be outnumbered by messy hoarders.

Vile. No excuses for this level of mess

My stepchildren live in bedrooms like that. Social services and the school couldn’t care less.

My kids get their room in a complete mess but the rest of the house isn’t like that. They are told to tidy but they refuse despite incentives and otherwise. Occasionally they do it or help out when we do it. They share so it’s hard to get them to own the problem as they blame each other. And it’s not worth the stress to fight them constantly. Their wellbeing is better if we turn a blind eye and clear it of cups, rubbish and laundry every week/few days depending on need. Only water is allowed in the bedroom and they still sneak food in.

My room was awful as a kid but I learnt to tidy and organise better when left to myself. My parents did give me grief and were more abusive and neglectful than we are as parents. Same for DH.

We swapped rooms round so the living room was smaller and they make less mess in there now. We have the extra space instead. And they have tonnes of storage so no excuse.

Messy kids bedrooms don’t bother me, my kids can quickly make a big mess in their rooms but as long as it is tidied away then there is no issue IMO.

The pictures with food wrappers, crumbs etc are different and I find it really sad to see. There is a difference between messy and dirty and while are not bothered living in mess, I don’t think anyone really want to live in filth.

God some awful commrents here. You do know that Hoarding Disorder is a thing right?
Before hoarding you tend to get chronic disorganisation and chronic overwhelm. These are to do with MH and nowhere bear enough support is, available to help people.
Often it's tied up with loss or trauma of some kind.

Next time you judge these people perhaps remember that in the majority of cases you are looking at the physical manifestation of trauma.

while some are not bothered*

@Picklypickles my DD who sneaks in food is ASD (and adhd). It’s just not the same comparing NT kids. Usual discipline just doesn’t work and she’s got very good at lying too. While other ASD kids are different and do need and ensure their rooms are tidy. People will never understand.

I also suspect my DH has slight hoarding tendencies and is on the spectrum (and adhd). He feels guilty for throwing things away. I’m brutal so it’s not too bad, I just feel guilty for the environment and the unwanted presents we get.

Strewth. And I thought my lot were untidy.

@JenniferSantoro there must have been other compounding factors and the cases must have met the CP threshold. Messy room in itself,whilst unsavoury, wouldn’t trigger CP.
Local authority would need to demonstrate significant concern to request Interim Care , or an Emergency Protection Order

These are disgusting and if they are happy to let their kids bedrooms get so bad imagine the rest of the house 🤮

Maybe a lot of children would have rooms in this kind of state, but obviously with no parents to supervise them in the art of being a bit tidier. They might all end up being like those adult hoarders that you see on TV.

@JustDavesWife

These are disgusting and if they are happy to let their kids bedrooms get so bad imagine the rest of the house 🤮

As i and several other posters have said, my sons room was a shit hole and no amounts of moaning, complaining, shouting, bribing, asking, crying and full out losing my shit made an ounce of difference, this went on for years, in the end I let them live in their filth (not food as was not allowed in the rooms) but the rest of my house is lovely and tidy and clean, no rubbish or clutter at all. It was all confined to a bedroom.

Floordrobe / toys on the floor - I could live with that. But leaving food wrappers and dirty plates to mount up - No!

My DD 16, could give those pics a run for their money. It's the only thing we argue about, I'm ashamed of it and I feel I've failed sometimes, but I remember my room as a teen was pretty bad and my mum despairing of me so I'm hoping eventually she will not only clean it but keep it clean sometime in the very near future because I'm at a loss as to what else to do.

As a side note the rest of my house is tidy and relatively clean at all (most) times.

How can parents on here claim they couldn’t find any way to manage their child and their filth/mess? Do these kids just walk all over their parents and have no consequences?

I love the dustpan and brush on top of the Guinea Pigs' cage in picture 16 - obviously it never came with any instructions!

There is a massive difference between untidy and dirty, equally is it not possible for a too tidy house to show a level of child neglect?
You'd hope social workers would be able to tell the difference really.

Mine looked like this as a kid, minus the food. The radiator leaked and I didn’t realise for ages. The room was an incredibly small box room though. I am fairly clean now, working to get more organised thanks to tips on mumsnet and YouTube.

It shows that some children have far more items of clothing than they need, and too many toys. They’re just getting buried in the mound.

What is the point in giving something new, and hopefully nice, to some who doesn’t look after what they already have?

@Picklypickles

Sure, we'll just throw out the childrens birthday and Christmas presents that their family bought them and they still use/play with regularly. I'm sure that will go down well with the children and their grandparents etc who spent money on them.

My house is just really fucking small. We don't have a lot of money, we aren't constantly buying new stuff, my children are tiny and clothes can last them for years. But its amazing how much space gets taken up by the stuff they get just for birthdays and Christmas from family. They write lists of what presents they might like and I allocate one item from each list to each family member, although there are some family members who don't ask what the children actually want and just turn up with bags of bloody stuff. Every year I do go through the toy boxes and throw out anything damaged or that doesn't get used, and then Christmas comes and I can't move in my house again! I'm a pretty minimilist kind of person, I hate clutter and mess. I like a space for everything and everything in its space. Unfortunately I seem to be outnumbered by messy hoarders.

Oh yes the never ending presents, i get the desire to be generous, but the kids really aren’t fussed and it just causes a headache for us. DS would rather hang on to an old broken toy than get a shiny new thing weirdo

I don't know... when I was a teenager I moved out of my room and into the spare room because I was so untidy. I'm a lot better now.