Homesick DD locked down in uni room

[RollercoasterRita]

We took our DD to university in the middle of September. She was excited and full of hope. Now due to someone in her halls of residence being tested positive for COVID, her whole floor has been locked down in their tiny rooms with food parcels being delivered to outside their doors. Totally understand the precautions which need to be taken, but my baby girl is lonely and scared and homesick and I just want to drive up there and get her. I feel so helpless....

@wanderings

To those who keep saying "it's just for two weeks":

At the end of that, it could be another two weeks of forced isolation. And another. And another. Remember "it's just to flatten the curve" turned into "we can turn this virus around in twelve weeks", which turned into much longer, and "normalish by Christmas" turned into "six more months of restrictions", and I doubt if that will be the end of it.

This is why many people are despairing, and why "it's just for two weeks" means nothing.

A lot of those were obviously bullshit Boris bravado at the time.

If they isolate halls for two weeks every time a single occupant tests positive, obviously that's untenable. If they only use this tactic for significant outbreaks, then it might be workable, though horrible for those affected. There are lots of uni halls not currently under lockdown.

They should never have been encouraged to go to uni in the first place, they were told it would all be fine, this is so wrong, I would cancel the accommodation and do an online course, I will be encouraging my daughter to do an ou degree in a couple of years time

I think that would be a real shame. OU degrees are great if you can't travel or you have other commitments, or you love online studying, but most students do enjoy leaving home and mixing with other similarly aged people. The majority of my students don't want to return home, the 2nd and 3rd years are keen to stay with their households/friends, and come onto campus when they can, they tell me they really value the contact with lecturers. I think it is the first years who are more vulnerable, having not made friends already and having not got the hang of studying. There may have been a rationale for keeping them back from starting til Jan, but I think permanently taking them out of university settings isn't a good idea, it doesn't make sense for schools to be still teaching in person and universities not to do anything for years!

In two years time, this cohort will have almost herd immunity, and most of them are asymptomatic or mildly ill, I've seen it for myself this term, many do not know they have corona til tested through the testing of households.

There's too much individual variation in how individuals cope, to say all should go home or all should stay. A second year in a shared house with friends might not be finding two weeks that bad, a first year in a small room might feel very bad indeed, and it's those students we need to be addressing- and as parents, it might be that getting them to come home after two weeks is the right thing.

A few people on here seem to forget that these teenagers have also been through the pandemic and lockdown at home! They are also the ones who have suffered from the government cocking up their A levels. They're resilient enough as it is, and don't need to be effectively imprisoned in a tiny room for 2 weeks to prove anything.

If OP is in a position to drive and to self isolate themselves, then picking up the dd and the dd self isolating in her bedroom at home while doing the studies online seems perfectly reasonable.

It's outrageous this age group are being treated the way they are imo. With massive loans to be paid off as well for this experience.

after being assured his course will be 50/50 online and in class he's now had his time table and it's mainly online we still had most of our modules online at the start of term, but the threat level changed in week 1 and the outbreak got worse in week 2. It came quite a bit faster than many of us, including obviously the government, were expecting. We are now not allowed by gov't and public health to have the students we were originally planning for on campus. The spread isn't on campus and the low numbers is one reason why!

Would your DS like to come home?

I think most students would still come to uni if they had the choice, and wouldn't have been best pleased if their parents had suggested that they stay home- financially this would have made more sense, however!

I really feel for the students. If you go get her then be prepared to isolate for 2 weeks

I’d get her.

I say it again, “some right pricks on here”.

Also some naive posters who seem to have no idea of the conditions many students are in.

Excellent Lewis Carroll quote posted above by WindyWendy.

I’d go and get her.

She's an adult not a baby.

She needs to toughen up and stick it out - it won't be forever. She can't be rescued by her parents every time something goes wrong in her life.

YABU to ask this question on AIBU as it's akin to stroking a tiger at times.

YANBU regarding your DD. If you are very worried about her then you should go & get her & she can isolate at home.
Sod Covid this time as I would do the same.

Maybe see if she can stick it out until the end of the current 2 weeks with plenty of phone calls and parcels but if it’s looking like it will continue for longer then offer to fetch her?

Some people are saying they are adults and should get on with it, but having had children go through university you will realise that the unis practice no duty of care at all! If you work in any job and fail to turn up for work, they will investigate why you aren't there, but the unis simply do not care. If they haven't paid their rent yet they should find a group of fellow students and move into a house.

Why can't they deliver her parcel to outside her door and then knock like they do with the food?

My ds is in the same position OP, he is isolating in his uni flat with three other flatmates. We have sent him takeaways and a grocery delivery. He is also getting Amazon parcels that we send. It's not great but he is safe and he has everything he needs. If it keeps happening then we might have to re-think things.

Go and get her.

@Snog who should go this , many if these galls have no staff. Students have to go to a central porters lodge to collect their post. These staff may not be employed by the University and they certainly don’t have extra staff to trek around over 1000 rooms.

You're doing her no favours by treating her like a baby.

Encourage her to behave like an adult, to be calm and resilient, get on with her course work.

This. Of course it's shit, but she's old enough to be able to deal with it - it's only two weeks. Send her some treats, keep in constant touch, the time will quickly pass.

Care packages and maybe a delivered meal will go a long way.

Terrace if you had read the thread you would see that neither of these are allowed

If she’s up a height, but her window is seeable from the ground. Send her a basket and some washing line, and visit her with gifts.
It will be such fun, all the students will get them.

Just thinking of my own kids student accomodation 🤩🤩🤓

Terrace if you had read the thread you would see that neither of these are allowed

I expect Terrace read the OP’s opening post “ ,her whole floor has been locked down in their tiny rooms with food parcels being delivered to outside their doors.“ and expected that to be true?

I say it again, “some right pricks on here”.

Abso-fucking-lutely. ☹️

I guess this pandemic has unveiled certain people’s true colours.

I would go and get her.

She's an adult not a baby.

I most definitely wasn't an adult at 18 🙄

It must be awful to be stuck in a room by herself two weeks. It's a totally different scenario to being stuck in a house with friends or family. I think universities with catered halls need to find a way of doing this so that students are somehow divided into bubbles as they would be if there is a kitchen. It's not going to work otherwise.