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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

You're Not Like Other Girls (or women)

127 replies

Lalaloveyou2020 · 02/10/2020 00:15

Why do men think this is a compliment? What's wrong with being like other females? If a man said this to me I would instantly think "red flag" but it's still being thrown out in Disney etc. How the f*ck are women supposed to progress when not being like other girls is condisered a compliment?

OP posts:
JunkCrumpet · 02/10/2020 00:16

Jesus. How many threads will there be today on "I'm offended by the exact meaning of words"?!

MsEllany · 02/10/2020 00:18

Well....I’m not like a lot of other females to be honest OP. I’m not a female cat, for example Wink

I get you though. I would totally have taken this as a compliment right up to the age of about 22, 23 - but now I would ask what’s wrong with other girls that you think I’d be flattered by that comment?

ErrolTheDragon · 02/10/2020 00:20

Yes, it does seem to signify someone with a generally low opinion of women, who shoves the rest into an amorphous set of stereotypes.

JunkCrumpet · 02/10/2020 00:20

I'm betting you'd be just as offended if they said "you're very similar to other people".

Toontown · 02/10/2020 00:22

"You're not like other girls" equals "you'll put up with shitty behaviour?"

IndieTara · 02/10/2020 00:26

I'm often told I'm not like other women. I take it as a compliment

avamiah · 02/10/2020 00:29

I’d just be happy to get a compliment .lol

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 02/10/2020 00:31

@IndieTara

I'm often told I'm not like other women. I take it as a compliment
That’s OP’s point - where is the compliment? That all/most other women and girls are awful? Do you believe that?
trixiebelden77 · 02/10/2020 00:32

What’s complimentary about it?

From which stupid lazy sexist stereotypes are you imagining you’re different?

seayork2020 · 02/10/2020 00:33

I presume I am not like other girls/ women because I am not offended by every single thing nor do I have to find dramas in everything that ever happens to me

DioneTheDiabolist · 02/10/2020 00:35

It's not a compliment. It's what a misogynist thinks is a compliment.Hmm

DioneTheDiabolist · 02/10/2020 00:38

I presume I am not like other girls/ women because I am not offended by every single thing nor do I have to find dramas in everything that ever happens to me.
Nor do I @seayork2020, so you are just like other women like me.🤷‍♀️

Catsup · 02/10/2020 00:38

To be fair when I've heard that phrase in my younger years it was often linked to something along the lines of; 'you're not like my ex', 'you don't seem so xyz', 'you don't do XYZ that my ex did'. It's generally not that fucking flattering tbh. And normally seems to appear to be along the lines of trying to rope you into feeling that you're 'above' asking too many fucking questions in response to shitty behaviour, or pulling someone up on it... 'You're special and different!'. Hence you shouldn't call me out on acting like a cockwomble when I act like one. 🙄

ErrolTheDragon · 02/10/2020 00:48

I don't think the OP is 'offended', more baffled/skeptical about why someone would say this and expect a woman to like it.

minipie · 02/10/2020 00:49

I agree OP.

1forAll74 · 02/10/2020 01:16

People are getting the wrong end of the stick here. The term mentioned is supposed to be complimentary. It has been said for many years, and only people who get uptight about everything will make an issue about it.

ErrolTheDragon · 02/10/2020 01:21

Just because something has been said for many years doesn't mean it shouldn't be questioned.

It tells you something about the person saying it.

blueshoes · 02/10/2020 01:22

He is trying to put women in this imaginary boxing ring who he believes are vying for his attention and guess what - you got the prize.

Twat. Next!

BitOfFun · 02/10/2020 01:22

Er, no, it means "I don't like other women for some weird reason, and I expect you to share my low opinion of them and feel privileged to be picked out of the crowd by me, because I'm awesome. Oh, and if you do or say something I don't like, then you will disappoint me and fall back into the pool of mediocrity into which I have relegated 52% of the population because my mummy doesn't still wipe my arse."

BitOfFun · 02/10/2020 01:23

To 1forall74, obviously.

sst1234 · 02/10/2020 01:25

It must be so exhausting being offended by everything.

FortunesFave · 02/10/2020 01:28

I presume I am not like other girls/ women because I am not offended by every single thing nor do I have to find dramas in everything that ever happens to me

So you presume 'other girls/women are offended by everything or find drama in everything?

Sounds like your view has been skewed by some bad experiences.

ErrolTheDragon · 02/10/2020 01:30

Is anyone here 'offended'?
Making weak put-down comments otoh...well, certainly takes zero mental effort so tiresome rather than tiring.

Elsewyre · 02/10/2020 01:31

Based on threads here this probbaly means "you actually answer your front door"

Kanaloa · 02/10/2020 01:38

I don’t really see it as a compliment. Women aren’t a hive mind that you can be different from. I’m not like other women because all women are different. And even if I was different, I don’t see it particularly as a compliment.

I don’t think I would mind if the sentiment was more ‘you’re not like other people/you are different and special to me.’ But it doesn’t come across like that.