Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH lying about flight home

148 replies

Whyareyoulying · 01/10/2020 17:51

DH has found out today that there's a last minute work trip to another country next week (Monday to Thursday).
The reason it is there is because they want the whole of the European team together and can't do this in the uk.
He's been told he doesn't have to go but feels like he should although not everyone is going.
I've said I'm unhappy about him going as it isn't mandatory and I'm worried about him catching Covid and bringing it home to our toddler DC.
He's then told me the flight isn't till 10pm on Thursday to get home so instead of coming home he's hiring a car to see a friend two hours away.
I've now found out the flight home is at 6pm and his friend is almost 4 hours and 250miles away.
He doesn't understand why I'm upset and is annoyed at me for being upset!
He said he hasn't been away with work for a while now and the last time he went away for this long was when DC was a couple of months old (I was having a hard time with bad PND and terrible anxiety at the time!)
Aibu to be furious at him?

OP posts:
GreyishDays · 02/10/2020 06:52

Oktoberfest is cancelled

www.oktoberfest.de/en/magazine/oktoberfest-news/2020/oktoberfest-2020-will-be-cancelled

WiserOwl · 02/10/2020 07:45

@Florencex

I think the comments about this not being a work trip are a bit silly. If he was up to no good he would surely come up with something better than that, which could be proved or disproved so easily.
😑 Literally no travel across europe right now and you think it's more likely that there is a work trip than that one man came up with a lame excuse?? 😂😜👍
ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 02/10/2020 07:48

Oktoberfest is cancelled this year. Munich is in lockdown due to increasing case numbers.
www.muenchen.de/int/en/events/bavaria-declares-state-of-emergency.html

ohnothisagain · 02/10/2020 08:06

For us (big company) travel
is severely limited, but for higher management definitely still happening. Things like a new boss would justify travel (it won’t be fun though - food in hotel in your room, distanced meetings, groups travelling separately etc).

WhereamI88 · 02/10/2020 08:06

He may be going to Germany with friends from work but it's not a work trip. No company is organizing trips even under the guise of socializing. You married an arsehole, OP.

ohnothisagain · 02/10/2020 08:25

No company is organizing trips even under the guise of socializing.
simply not true. Your company might not, others do. And if OPs husband is in a critical role, meeting a new boss face to face would very much be a reason for travel.

DramaDromedary · 02/10/2020 08:33

Ref Oktoberfest, it’s cancelled this year, like everything else.

Riv12345 · 02/10/2020 09:10

Are you sure it's a work trip??

Riv12345 · 02/10/2020 09:12

Then driving 250 miles to see his friend ?

Maybe you should say you need a break

Refractory · 02/10/2020 09:19

I would not be worried about C19 and the toddler at all.

Like others I doubt that the company is organising any travel and would be suspicious. I completely trust my husband, 100%, but if he were to tell me today that his work had organised a meeting somewhere in Europe, I'd do some digging. It seems entirely implausible.

That all being said, if the trip is real I think he probably just wants some time away and he lied about it. Only you can decide if this is reasonable within the bounds of your marriage.

Mentounasc · 02/10/2020 12:16

"Does he know that he'll be tested on arrival in Germany and expected to quarantine for 14 days, unless he receives a negative result? It could be a long trip."

"If you are in a UK lockdown area is he legally allowed to travel to Germany?"

I've addressed this issue above. What is relevant to the Germans is not whether the area you come from is in lockdown, but whether the Germans (rki.de) have declared it a high-risk area (Risikogebiet). Only people from these areas have to get a test at the airport and quarantine until the results are through (NOT necessarily 14 days if the results are negative and you have no symptoms). Currently - and utterly bizarrely - only Wales and Northern Ireland are high-risk areas, not England or Scotland. So assuming that OP'S DH hasn't been to W or NI recently, he does not need to test or quarantine. But the list changes every Wednesday evening and could easily change next week to include Northern England, for example.
And if you're not formally in quarantine, there is nothing to legally stop you travelling around Germany at the moment, although it's not really being encouraged. But it would not be very polite to come from an area with a 7 day infection rate of over 100 per 1000,000 (for example, no idea what the level is where OP lives) and go travelling in areas which have worked hard to achieve a much lower rate.

NoKnit · 02/10/2020 18:27

There are currently no travel restrictions between England and Germany, so his company is entirely within its rights to organise a trip.

Actually The RKI have just now added areas of England to the high risk list. North West, Yorkshire and North East I think.

People coming in really aren't welcome. We've done a good job as a nation to keep things under control. Hats off to Germany, now tell your husband to be sensible and stay away

Original poster
Whyareyoulying · 02/10/2020 19:44

@NoKnit

There are currently no travel restrictions between England and Germany, so his company is entirely within its rights to organise a trip.

Actually The RKI have just now added areas of England to the high risk list. North West, Yorkshire and North East I think.

People coming in really aren't welcome. We've done a good job as a nation to keep things under control. Hats off to Germany, now tell your husband to be sensible and stay away

I've just let him know about the new restrictions Should be interesting to see what happens now
OP posts:
VenusTiger · 02/10/2020 22:40

He lied because he knew you'd say no to him going to see his friend as well OP. Life goes on I guess.

GabsAlot · 05/10/2020 12:14

did he go then op?

Original poster
whyareyoulying · 05/10/2020 15:16

@GabsAlot

did he go then op?
It was cancelled
OP posts:
Savemyusername · 05/10/2020 16:05

Why, out of interest?

Original poster
whyareyoulying · 05/10/2020 16:25

@Savemyusername

Why, out of interest?
They said that it would be unfair to make people quarantine in hotels until they got the results of Covid tests in Germany.
OP posts:
NoKnit · 05/10/2020 18:20

So sad that this was the reason and not the fact that travelling from a country with very large number of cases daily to a country with not so many is pretty irresponsible. I'm hoping the German government clamp down on people's reasons for entering the country and a jolly because the rules about pubs and socialising are relaxed here should definitely not be cutting it

Negative results don't make a jot of difference, if you are travelling from a high risk area on the list (which is most of UK) you have to quarantine regardless of a test result.

GabsAlot · 06/10/2020 00:02

well tjhat worked out ok shame he didnt want to cancel himself though

Thisisnotnormal69 · 06/10/2020 00:06

Yeah he’s being an arsehole

lioncitygirl · 06/10/2020 00:06

is he scared of you - that you might tell him off or say no or something? I mean, why would he lie if he wasnt afraid of your reaction?

WeeirishWall · 24/01/2022 18:14

The lying is very problematic, yanbu

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread