DH lying about flight home

[Whyareyoulying]

DH has found out today that there's a last minute work trip to another country next week (Monday to Thursday).
The reason it is there is because they want the whole of the European team together and can't do this in the uk.
He's been told he doesn't have to go but feels like he should although not everyone is going.
I've said I'm unhappy about him going as it isn't mandatory and I'm worried about him catching Covid and bringing it home to our toddler DC.
He's then told me the flight isn't till 10pm on Thursday to get home so instead of coming home he's hiring a car to see a friend two hours away.
I've now found out the flight home is at 6pm and his friend is almost 4 hours and 250miles away.
He doesn't understand why I'm upset and is annoyed at me for being upset!
He said he hasn't been away with work for a while now and the last time he went away for this long was when DC was a couple of months old (I was having a hard time with bad PND and terrible anxiety at the time!)
Aibu to be furious at him?

Work trip - fine, adding on trip to see mate - not fine

Is this allowed if you live in a lockdown area? I know there's 'essential work purposes' but getting staff together to go on the piss is hardly that, surely?

I would be asking why does my partner feel he has to lie to me about something thrivial like te of arrival...

I have to disagree that iabu about being concerned my DH may bring Covid home to a toddler. Surely any sane person would be concerned about that?!

No way any international organisations are getting their European teams together!

@Whyareyoulying

I have to disagree that iabu about being concerned my DH may bring Covid home to a toddler. Surely any sane person would be concerned about that?!

Going by numbers of new cases it's the people in Germany who should be concerned👀

@Seainasive

No way any international organisations are getting their European teams together!

They are. Foolish ones are anyway.

Germany seems to be the country of choice for work trips at the moment, I’m aware of a few, chosen because it is very safe there with very few Covid cases. The trip is not really a risk to you at all.

You said that he just plucked a time out of the air and got it a bit wrong so not really a lie. You are totally being unreasonable here, sounds like you could be a tiny bit jealous....I would be too, would give anything to get away right now.

I don't known of any firms or companies that are permitting non-essential travel at the moment. All our national and international meetings are taking place via Teams and that includes networking. Anyway, I could be wrong but it does sound odd to me.

I'm not believing this "work trip" thing.

You're not in Wales or NI are you, OP?

Germany’s a lot safer than the UK right now. And small children are less susceptible to Covid than anyone else so I think your worries on that score are groundless.

The lie would piss me off. Just ignore all the usual MN suspects who delight in trying to ruin relationships by insisting partners are cheating. I don’t know what they get out of it.

That's interesting (in Germany here with a German employer): masks, SD, hand sanitizing, regular airing of rooms, our doors have notices stating how many persons may be inside together at any given time, all events (work and fun) have been canceled, zoom and teams for everything.
I wonder what firm that is and how they intend to keep the rules?

Where are you in the UK? Because Germany declared Wales and Northern Ireland high-risk areas yesterday, which means that anyone coming from there has to do a test at the airport then isolate for the 48 hours or so until the results come in. TBH I'm amazed that northern England hasn't been declared high-risk too, but the list is changed every Wednesday evening and England might well be added next week. So that would presumably make the whole journey pointless.

I am not impressed with his company organising this, very irresponsible! (If it’s true)!

Lies poison relationships.

It doesn't matter why the lie is told.

@Whyareyoulying

I have to disagree that iabu about being concerned my DH may bring Covid home to a toddler. Surely any sane person would be concerned about that?!

Yes but your OH could bring Covid home after a trip to the supermarket/bank etc. YABU

@eatsleepread

He wants a break. And has taken the chance to kill several birds with the one stone! Meh. I'd probably do the same, in all honesty.

Agree. Not something worth fuming about.

Honestly YABU. I know his stumbling over times isn't great but I imagine he was trying to soften the blow as he going to be out having a great time for 5 days. I'm jealous! And he is probably feeling guilty.

@Whyareyoulying

I have to disagree that iabu about being concerned my DH may bring Covid home to a toddler. Surely any sane person would be concerned about that?!

Would not be remotely concerned about that.

People are not even getting on a train from Birmingham to London to go to a meeting, let alone a flight to meet the whole European team. Then driving to see a ‘friend’. Everything happens online. From ordinary team meetings, doctor appointments to 5 billion dollar international arbitration cases. Are you sure he’s going to a work meeting...

No, I wouldn’t be remotely concerned either. I think he lied because he knew you would be furious.

Agree with @VinylDetective

I’d be pissed off by the lie and jealous that he is going away for five days for quite a social ‘jolly’. I’d be booking myself something similar ready for when he gets back...

I literally have not heard of one person flying for business at the moment. I do, however know one guy who flew from Dublin to London to meet a woman. The wife stayed home...He told her it was a business meeting.

The friend is in Germany?

I wouldn’t have a problem. He might as well while he’s there.
The lying is shit though.