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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Shouted at in Lidl

262 replies

WheresTheFire · 01/10/2020 13:53

This morning I went to Lidl, I had a large trolley full and queued up behind a lady. I didn't put anything on the belt and kept back.
An elderly gentleman was behind me with 3 or 4 items in a basket. He had a walking stick so I asked him if he wanted to go in front of me. He thanked me and put his shopping on the belt.
He was at least a metre away from the lady and we all had masks on.
Well, the woman went ballistic, shouting at us and wagging her finger shouting at us to keep away and dont we know theres a virus about and it's not funny etc etc.
I'm afraid I shouted back saying if shes that worried maybe get her shopping delivered.
I felt so sorry for the gent, he didnt know what had hit him.

OP posts:
ArcheryAnnie · 02/10/2020 01:11

No, I'm not being obtuse. I don't support anyone shouting at people, but the reality is that people ignoring social distancing and not wearing masks are putting other people in physical danger. The problem is first of all the physical danger, and only second the shouting. I don't think people should shout, but they shout, most of the time, i think, because they are frightened and fed up of other people not sticking to the rules.

Howlooseisyourgoose · 02/10/2020 01:38

@ArcheryAnnie but this elderly man was following the rules. He was over a metre away from shouty woman?

Original poster
WheresTheFire · 02/10/2020 05:07

@ArcheryAnnie for the love of god. We were all wearing masks and were all socially distancing!!!
Nobody touched anybody!
Maybe read the thread properly before you post!

OP posts:
Vivana · 02/10/2020 05:11

You should try and work in a supermarket as you get shouted at quite a few times and people coming close to you and ask where things are. They get asked to step back and they get all annoyed. I had it the other day and told the women I'm not coming any closer and she got abusive HmmAngry

Original poster
WheresTheFire · 02/10/2020 08:02

@Vivana I'm sorry you get shouted out at work, that's not on.
I work in a hospital and there is zero social distancing, but everyone has been really sensible and calm about it.

OP posts:
Griselda1 · 02/10/2020 08:56

She obviously could have moved forward if she felt uncomfortable. Some people are just rude and fear also does strange things to them

ArcheryAnnie · 02/10/2020 13:29

@Griselda1

She obviously could have moved forward if she felt uncomfortable. Some people are just rude and fear also does strange things to them
Not if she was then moving into the space of someone in front of her.
Original poster
WheresTheFire · 02/10/2020 13:53

She wouldn't have moved into anyone else's space as she was paying for her shopping. Next move was out of the exit!

OP posts:
tryinghardnottocry · 02/10/2020 17:26

Covid19 - gives an excuse for all those people who wished they could have joined the police

cherrybath · 02/10/2020 17:30

I've has people threaten to wait for me outside if I reached an opening till before them!

MollyMinniesMum · 02/10/2020 17:30

Better off at Waitrose daaaaaarling

ExpatAl · 02/10/2020 17:37

We are all a bit fed up with the situation and tempers can be a bit short. It is essential to keep our curiosity and open mind. Perhaps the shouts woman was high risk/anxious/hadn’t been out for a long time/had worries and stresses. She should not have shouted but a sarcy response helps no one.

Howlooseisyourgoose · 02/10/2020 17:45

@ExpatAl

We are all a bit fed up with the situation and tempers can be a bit short. It is essential to keep our curiosity and open mind. Perhaps the shouts woman was high risk/anxious/hadn’t been out for a long time/had worries and stresses. She should not have shouted but a sarcy response helps no one.
I’m the most impatient person I know yet I manage to avoid shouting at strangers for no reason. Stop minimising bad behaviour. The sarcy response helped OP, which is more important than appeasing strangers on MN.
Plentyofshit · 02/10/2020 17:55

She was pissed off for having to wait. You did EXACTLY the right thing. Just because that obnoxious woman shouted - this doesn’t mean her needs are greater. Well done for being conscientious — hang on to your morals, because this is what we need right now.

Plentyofshit · 02/10/2020 17:58

You prioritised the needs of another person above your own. I wish more people would do this.

Hamsandwich2 · 02/10/2020 18:00

I’ve found that Covid has made people even more rude than before. I was in Lidl recently with three items. I had a full arm cast and a significant limp. Another person with a full trolley literally pushed past me to get to the till first.

I find it with buses too, the upstairs can be empty but nobody will move to give you a seat and I need to get back off 🙄

Plentyofshit · 02/10/2020 18:08

Yes! Just like that poem ‘If’. If you can do the right thing while all around you are being idiots - then you will be a woman.

randoID · 02/10/2020 18:23

@WheresTheFire

This morning I went to Lidl, I had a large trolley full and queued up behind a lady. I didn't put anything on the belt and kept back. An elderly gentleman was behind me with 3 or 4 items in a basket. He had a walking stick so I asked him if he wanted to go in front of me. He thanked me and put his shopping on the belt. He was at least a metre away from the lady and we all had masks on. Well, the woman went ballistic, shouting at us and wagging her finger shouting at us to keep away and dont we know theres a virus about and it's not funny etc etc. I'm afraid I shouted back saying if shes that worried maybe get her shopping delivered. I felt so sorry for the gent, he didnt know what had hit him.
So I have a family remember with mental health needs.

I am so sorry for your experience and the gentleman's. But I could imagine my family member reacting just like this in this situation. Not excusing the behaviour, I think sometimes I wish dearly that I was there every time my family member behaved awfully. Just to plead and explain on their behalf.
I would like to add that my family member would not have any understanding that they where on the wrong whatsoever.
They would have felt genuinely ( by their own perception) under-threat by the man moving positions etc.

I think I just needed to chuck this in- probably for my own benefit.It's so hard knowing my family member behaves like this at times.Its hard knowing they are terrified but come across as awful and annoying and rude. It is hard knowing that they fall under the radar of any support and have managed this for their entire life.

I think I have turned this into another thread.. sorry. I am sorry his happened to you at all though OP

FelicisNox · 02/10/2020 18:28

@raddledoldmisanthropist christ I love your response.

OP YANBU. As others have stated: if you have an issue fine, but know your place and keep it polite.

One of these days someone will get a punch in the gob for their aggression and they will be the 1st ones to complain.

Everyone needs to get a grip.

benny888 · 02/10/2020 18:28

a metre away, FAR TO CLOSE!!!, no wonder she was upset, I know of 6 people now that are DEAD because of this virus, the youngest was only 18 years old, I currently know 3 people with the virus, people are far to complacent, they really have no idea of just how serious this is, it is to late if you get it and give it your family and friends maybe even killing some of them in the process,

ExpatAl · 02/10/2020 18:30

What an odd response. Are you not minimising OP’s behaviour? I know an autistic guy who would have got flustered and shouted in same situation if he felt crowded. I stand by my point. I’m sympathetic but confine neither behaviour.

ExpatAl · 02/10/2020 18:30

condone, not confine

ExpatAl · 02/10/2020 18:32

@ExpatAl

What an odd response. Are you not minimising OP’s behaviour? I know an autistic guy who would have got flustered and shouted in same situation if he felt crowded. I stand by my point. I’m sympathetic but confine neither behaviour.
This was in response to @howlooseisyourgoose
islockdownoveryet · 02/10/2020 18:40

Obviously the woman shouldn't of shouted but I must admit I'm getting increasingly pissed off with people not understanding social distancing. They think the mask makes them think they can stand close to you .
I don't think there is anything wrong in telling someone to please step back a little in a polite way but not shouting.

Pekeygirl75 · 02/10/2020 19:20

People seem to have completely lost their minds eyeroll