To ask what does your current partner not know about you?

[PunkyPirate]

I am ready for all the 'there are no secrets in our relationship' but surly there must be something your other half doesn't know?

For example, mine doesn't know that I had an affair when I was married to my ex husband with a man who is quite well known in football.

I'm not proud of what I did, but I was 21 at the time, in an abusive relationship and flattered that this older man complimented me and showed an interest in me. It was the first and last time I was unfaithful and definitely not something I can see myself doing now I am older and a little wiser and in a healthy and happy relationship.

Feel...

Nothing. We have been married 40 years and he knows everything about me and I about him.

Could never lie or keep a secret from him. I can't even lie to him about the price of something I have bought

Like a PP my DH doesn't know that I sometimes still make myself sick,no one knows.

I was anorexic for 9 years when I was a child through to being a teenager(he knows about that) but now I'm overweight and I honestly would still rather be anorexic but I will never tell him that,that's something I'll take to my grave.

That before we met I had a one night stand with a work colleague who I now work very closely with every day. There's no chance of anything ever happening between us again (I don't see him that way and it was a drunken fumble!) so there's no point in me telling him and have him wonder and worry.

I'm fairly sure I'm pregnant. We've been TTC for several months, but he's less keen for a second child than I am. My period was due on Monday, no sign yet, planning to test in the next couple of days. I haven't mentioned it because he's been in a fairly lousy mood (work stuff and covid anxiety). Waiting for a good time.

That l don’t think l can live with being childless. We have had fertility issues for a few years, we recently found out the issue lies with him. He’s dismissed donor sperm / donor embryos but lm not sure if l want to

@LeSquigh I also have a denture plate for a single tooth that I would not tell to DP! I hate it also. Hoping to get another Maryland bridge as before - is that an option for you?

My dh doesn’t know the name of the man who raped me. I deliberately haven’t told him as he used to live locally and I wouldn’t want dh to react if we bumped into him anywhere, nor would I want dh to tell his brothers...

@Potterpotterpotter you are clearly not a gambler 🤣. Gamblers don’t generally save £2k up for stuff!

I have had times where I probably could have found the money for it but there’s always been something more important (questionable) to buy.

People are entitled to their secrets as long as they're not to the detriment of others.

@cheezy I have never heard of a Maryland bridge. What is that? DM me if easier.

That a few years ago I aborted his baby. No one knows in real life actually. I'd just moved to a new city for work and didn't have any real friends there yet, and didn't want to tell my friends/family from back home over the phone.

We were more casual then and I knew he wouldn't want it so I figured it was better to just not tell him. I didn't want it either, we were too young and I wanted to be in a stable relationship before I had kids.

It was my fault cause I'd been forgetful with my pill, I take it religiously now!

I haven't told dp I had an abortion when I was young. He knows I'm pro choice but I never offered the information and he's never asked. He and his ex had major fertility issues and ivf so it is kind of hard to say, we aborted because we didn't want more kids.

@mistermagpie my daughter has trich - would you mind telling me what has helped you? I’d love to be able to help her thank you

@AfterSchoolWorry I've found my twin :-))

My DH doesn't know the reason why I can't be touched on a certain area of my body, he has just accepted it without question, for which I feel very lucky.

That I had an abortion at 16

That I had a piece of art in a pop up exhibition.

That just before we got together a mutual friend raped me. No-one knows.
I once tried to say that I didn't much like X and would possibly have gone on the tell the whole story, but dh got a bit annoyed with me and said that X had always liked me and I shouldn't badmouth him.

NC for this.....

Not really my secret, but my DP didn't tell me for 4 years that he'd been married before and had a child. Been together now 15 years
and have 2 of our own. I forgave him because he has been an amazing partner and Dad to our children and his 1st child is an adult now and we have a great friendship.

NC for this.

My husband thinks our second child was an accident.

Not my husband, but an on-off boyfriend. If he mansplains one more thing to me, that's it. He has explained what a lighthouse is to me in the past. He told me it was a building you see on the coast which helps ships to navigate at night. He felt I needed that explaining to me. A fucking lighthouse.

@mistermagpie

I suffer from trichotillomania which involves pulling out my eyelashes. I'm quite on top of it now for the most part but we've been together for ten years and he still doesn't know (that I know of). He's not a very observant man though!!

I've never told anyone about it actually.

My husband told me about his Trich. He pull his hair and I started noticing it all gathered up in one place. It was hard for him to tell me but I think he's glad he did.

That whilst I was having therapy for one issue, something I had blocked out from my teenage years, hit me like a train and has been on my mind ever since. I haven't been able to say it out loud to anyone.

A person, who was in a job that would now need a DBS check, and who came into contact with School children numerous times a day, probably groomed me. There was a situation when we were in the same place at the same time, with no-one else around, and that person kissed me and put one of their hands on my breast.

I feel ill just typing this out.

My partner has no idea of my chequered sexual history and has no idea how much money I have in the bank.
Having had an abusive relationship I find it hard to trust him enough to share everything. Don't want to spoil what we have.