School forcing 8am start for my SEN girl?

[emmapemma91]

So I’m having quite a lot of bother with my little girls school. She’s not settling in very well and becoming very distressed when going into school and can become aggressive.
She’s waiting on assessment for possible Autism. She’s 6 and in year 2.

She’s on a reduced timetable at the minute but the school are forcibly telling me they want her in at 8am to give her time to settle before her class come in at 8.45. I’ve told them each time my sons school taxi comes sometime between 8.15 - 8.25 and I can’t get her there, chase her around while she tries to run away, then carry her into school then be back in time for my sons taxi. Yet every day they say the same thing, she hasn’t settled and needs to be in 8am. If I miss his taxi I can’t get him to school as I don’t drive and it’s quite far away.

Is there any solution? I’m sick of fighting with the school to support my daughter.

@Lizadork I don’t mind people being able to identify me I’m not hiding anything. Can’t get her there any earlier than 8am as that’s when breakfast club starts.

You are getting a hard time here OP - you are just asking for suggestions.

When you apply for an EHCP be very thorough and honest don't sugar coat the problems.

They will turn you down the first time, but make sure you appeal as they think if you get turned down you won't bother going any further - money saving exercise !

You need this as it will help you get what you need, and the school will have to follow it.

I think ask if your DD can start later than the usual scrum in the morning and ask if someone can meet her and sit with her and let her make the decision to go into the classroom. Ask for it to be the same member of staff so there is consistency and trust built up.

I find with my DD who has Autism if you make it her idea (in her mind) you get more done.

Also you need to be very calm as she may be reading your body language and feeding off the anxiety that you are feeling.

Make going to school fun - my DD is obsessed with what way we go and we talk about everything even if it seems mundane.

She may be suffering sensory overload, that is why the going in at 8am is working because it is calmer - so it should work going in later with a slower start for her.

I don't know if this may help - just trying to give some ideas, good luck it is hard when you have a child with SEN.

@Jellycatspyjamas the reduced timetable came 2 days after her returning to school. It’s another thing we disagree on as they won’t give me any paperwork or reintegration plan which I was going to use to support my EHCP needs assessment application, but that’s another thread 😂

I would bring her in for 8:45 and stop engaging with them on this issue. If they mention it again just say "as discussed, that doesn't work for me."

[quote emmapemma91]@Jellycatspyjamas the reduced timetable came 2 days after her returning to school. It’s another thing we disagree on as they won’t give me any paperwork or reintegration plan which I was going to use to support my EHCP needs assessment application, but that’s another thread 😂[/quote]
Do you agree with her being on a part time table? If not I would be very tempted to send them an email (paper trail) saying you don’t believe that it’s in her best interest to be in part time and then suggest a plan for reintegration that you think will work for her and a start date - if nothing else it may force their hand to listen. Obviously you need to be sure it wouldn’t cause issues for her first.

Thank you all for your suggestions, I did expect some not very good ones too (learn to drive 😂), I will talk to the school to work our the best solution.

Also, I’m already planning to appeal for her EHCP if declined, which I suspect it will be.

school has to fund most of the support
First £6,000 for each child

I'd say you have more than one child so I can have her there at 8:45 or 7:50 (I leave at 7:55 though) I think you need to give the choice back to them

Could the school allow her to go in later, or to be met in a quiet area away from the usual hustle and bustle and then go into lessons from there? Maybe a LSA could meet her in the library and she misses registration.

It would seem the only reason for saying 8 am start is that it is when breakfast club is on (are school asking you to pay, @emmapemma91?)...so any earlier wouldn't work (for the school)

Good luck, OP, I’m sorry you’ve had some shitty responses here.

I had similar issues with my autistic DD at primary. Fortunately I was made redundant (!) and was able to bring her in to school later, plus her school were lovely and accommodating.

Of course you can’t pursue a solution that is a practical impossibility for you, as some on here seem to think.
Your DDs school could perhaps let her arrive to a quieter area, and integrate when the classroom is calmer. Alternatively, arrive later if that works.

I’m also hearing alarm bells about the reduced timetable. Do you agree with this? Do you think it is in your DDs interests?

Can your son be picked up from your daughter’s school?

This is what I had to do when mine were little. I had to pick youngest up at 3pm, exactly the time the eldest (sen) was dropped off at home.
So I asked the bus if they'd drop off at the school instead. Did that for a couple of years. It was a faff but I had no option.

Can your other child wait for his transport on his own?

Or could you pay a neighbour to watch him for 30min every morning?

And as suggested above: pickup of your son from the school seems the best solution - I can't imagine why it wouldn't be possible.

@Jellycatspyjamas the reduced timetable came 2 days after her returning to school. It’s another thing we disagree on as they won’t give me any paperwork or reintegration plan which I was going to use to support my EHCP needs assessment application, but that’s another thread

I’d be challenging that on the basis that it’s an informal exclusion - your child has the right to full time education, if they can’t meet her needs to should put an EHCP in place. Any part time provision should be temporary with a plan to either reintegrate or source more appropriate provision. That’s a bloody nonsense.

The school transport policy that our LA has is that the taxi can arrive 10 minutes before the pick up time and will only wait 5 minutes.

The transport company will have worked out time and routes, they just aren't going to rejig everything for a sibling.

Getting to school at 8am is just not logistically viable and I'd say it's too disruptive to continue to try. Even if the LA would fund a taxi to your daughter school they will normally say it's only for the school normal opening and close so wouldn't drop her there at 8am.

@NoSleepInTheHeat all routes have been worked out by the council to be most cost efficient. The school would be a longer distance so cost more for the LA, they won’t fund it.

they won’t fund it
Have you explained the current situation to them?

Two solutions really to get her in for 8am: 1) rearrange your son's taxi for a later time or ask if it can pick up from school; 2) ask school to have a member of staff come in early at 7.50am so you can drop off your DD.

If neither of these are an option, just tell school 8am doesn't work for you and she'll be in at 8.45 as usual.

Some of the other suggestions people have made don't sound remotely realistic... You are not going to be able to learn to drive in a timescale which is going to be at all useful to your family, even if you had the £££ necessary for lessons, a car and insurance . So that's a non-starter. Also, it sounds as if money is not plentiful so paying a childminder or babysitter to come and wait with your son for 20 minutes (for which they'd probably charge you an hour at least, even if you could find one who would do it) is not a sensible option either.

There is a child in my DD’s class who is a school refuser. It’s year 1 and every day he screams, cries, kicks at his mum who is yelling at him.
It’s horrible to witness and unsettling for the others. I can see where the school is coming from.
Is dropping her later in a different part of the school an option, like the office? Then they take her to class once she’s calm?

I'm assuming there is a reason why the children are both in different schools/can't be in the same school, as that might make life easier?

Love the idea that people think you can pick and choose when an LEA school taxi arises. Basically, in reality their time or wave goodbye.

It is a huge problem when you have two at different schools and one (or both) with SEN. The way we handled it was instead of going in early ds2 went in half an hour late every single day with permission from the HT (actually he was such a pain when he was there they were probably more than grateful to have him for less time). Not ideal but as you say you can not be in two places at the same time.

Lots of solutions here from people who clearly have no idea of the stress involved in dealing with LA transport arrangements with children with SEN. A 10 year old cannot wait alone for a taxi (which in my experience may not turn up on time if at all). And why on earth should a 6 year old struggling with school be expected to get there at 8am? My autistic child would have felt they were being punished for needing help and support. And dropping off for a child with SEN is not the 'drop and run' experience some of you are implying. OP's life is hard enough without the staggering lack of understanding and sympathy being exhibited here.
As some pp have said, sadly you are at the start of a long battle to get your daughter's needs met. I would advise not getting locked into complex arrangements that don't work for you and your family. Good Luck.

If your sons taxi comes at 8.15 could you all be ready and outside and then start walking as soon as he gets in. She'd then have from 8.30 to be in the building getting ready for the day, and if that's not enough time then they perhaps need to find a different room for her to get settled in.

@Babyboomtastic They’re at different schools because my son is at special school and my daughter is in mainstream.