School forcing 8am start for my SEN girl?

[emmapemma91]

So I’m having quite a lot of bother with my little girls school. She’s not settling in very well and becoming very distressed when going into school and can become aggressive.
She’s waiting on assessment for possible Autism. She’s 6 and in year 2.

She’s on a reduced timetable at the minute but the school are forcibly telling me they want her in at 8am to give her time to settle before her class come in at 8.45. I’ve told them each time my sons school taxi comes sometime between 8.15 - 8.25 and I can’t get her there, chase her around while she tries to run away, then carry her into school then be back in time for my sons taxi. Yet every day they say the same thing, she hasn’t settled and needs to be in 8am. If I miss his taxi I can’t get him to school as I don’t drive and it’s quite far away.

Is there any solution? I’m sick of fighting with the school to support my daughter.

Yanno I'm reading that and all I'm hearing is air escaping out of a bottom. I can't even be arsed to take it to bits.

Yep.

Howcome the children are at different schools? Obviously it would be best if they were in same place.

Fucking hell 🤦‍♀️

Utterly gob smacked by some of the replies on this thread!!

So much support for a school who illegally excludes a child everyday! by cutting short her school day. A school who's only solution simply isn't doable...

Makes no difference how many unworkable solutions people come up with, this school simply is not meeting the child's needs.

OP send off that EHCP application, do it straight away! there are two points of law that need to be satisfied. First is that a child has SEND, despite her not yet having a diagnosis, i dont think anyone can deny that she has special needs. Second point of law is that they "may" need additional provision to meet her needs, well! thats very clear to see here, firstly she is on a reduced timetable, with no plan forwards to get her back in school fulltime as she is legally entitled to. If school wont provide you with her SEND file to support your application, then do a subject access request! get the information for yourself and send it off, you are legally entitled to literally everything in that school that has your daughters name on it.

"Howcome the children are at different schools? Obviously it would be best if they were in same place."

Yep I am sure the OP has them in different schools just for the fun of it.

Howcome the children are at different schools? Obviously it would be best if they were in same place

The son is at a special school, unless the DD had an EHCP and was able to secure a place at the same special school, then it is not possible for them to be at the same school.

This will sound harsh but you either need to learn to drive or DP gets a job where he can start later in the day.

Because cars and new jobs just fall out of the sky whenever you need them too, both of these things are easily obtainable within a matter of days. In fact a car and a new job will instantly resolve all of the issues relating to the child's SEN. Won't they...?

It sounds like school are actually trying to help her settle in so she's calm before the others start piling in.

School aren't helping when their only solution is completely unworkable. They need to make reasonable adjustments and expecting the OP to be in two places at once / get a car / tell her DP to get a different job / move house / disrupt her son's school day for the sake of an 8am start is not a reasonable adjustment.

Op....
Do you think you could win the lottery and pay for private home tuition?...
You could at least ask about having your son's school moved closer?....
Have you even thought about getting some wings and learning to fly?...
What about hover boards....how come you haven't invented those yet?....

I just get the feeling you're not trying, op.

@converseandjeans, harsh? Just ignorant!

Yes, sure, poor op should definitely rush off to school leaving her dad with sn to wait for school transport by himself. Her OH can’t do it and nor should he have to

Howcome the children are at different schools? Obviously it would be best if they were in same place
Did you rtt. The oldest DC has been diagnosed attending a special school the younger DC is being let down which isn't unusual considering she is female.
I'd move schools. Can you homeschool until she gets a diagnosis.
Like I said above we paid for the piece of paper it changed things dramatically for DS he had an SNA in preschool without a diagnosis through AIM. Primary school said he would not be eligible for an sna in mainstream without a report we'd waited 2.5 years on the public appointment.
Funny enough his public appointment it is starting next week after 3 years wait for a DC with Level 7 AIM in preschool. Disgraceful.

@Burkis but of COURSE schools definitely always know best what dc with sn need. Especially when that’s:

Not to apply for an echp
Not to spend any money on dc with sn
To pressure a mum already trying her damndest to care for her two kids with sn

Of COURSE op is definitely absolutely U!

@Bupkis

Op.... Do you think you could win the lottery and pay for private home tuition?... You could at least ask about having your son's school moved closer?.... Have you even thought about getting some wings and learning to fly?... What about hover boards....how come you haven't invented those yet?....

I just get the feeling you're not trying, op.

A helicopter would probably be a bit easier than getting wings, holding onto the kids with wings attached would be a nightmare!

@Bupkis

Op.... Do you think you could win the lottery and pay for private home tuition?... You could at least ask about having your son's school moved closer?.... Have you even thought about getting some wings and learning to fly?... What about hover boards....how come you haven't invented those yet?....

I just get the feeling you're not trying, op.

Oh I’ve got an idea! Maybe op could pay for a school that offers what her kids need and campaign for legislation which protects their rights to that!

What’s that you say? She paid for that already in her taxes and that legislation already exists?

Who would have thought it

I bet as well that if the 150+ people who voted schools have a right to do this were actually in this position themselves....their vote would change pretty damn quickly

Just sad people have so little understanding

@converseandjeans my daughter is in mainstream, my son in special education.
I’m not able to pull out the money for lessons, a car, insurance, etc. when I’m currently not working so I can be here for my children. And By the time I passed/partner found another job, I’m hoping we’d be back on track with my daughters education.

I just don’t understand how people think I can ‘move house/learn to drive/partner gets another job’ in a click of the fingers. I don’t work as I’m here for my children and haven’t got that sort of money to pull out. I’ve only just recently moved into a housing association house that is perfect for us, there is a closer school but it’s full. And I don’t feel like moving house/school again is best for two SEN children tbh. Some of these comments are ridiculous.

OP it might seem as if you are shooting down everyone’s suggestions but the reality is is that they aren’t feasible ones. Yes it would help if you drive one day but right now things are impossible. If it won’t distress your daughter too much I’d insist on full days and if they can’t cope then they might move faster with the EHCP support. It’s abysmal and such a lottery. I’ve worked with some amazing mainstream schools who can do wonders and some just don’t do much at all. Keep escalating at school and at the LA get a contact person and team contact number and just don’t let go. It’s exhausting and it shouldn’t be like this.

Back to not giving a shit about vulnerable children.

@Anothermother3 honestly if I was able to get her there at 8am I would, and I’m trying to work with school the best I can, but it seems impossible sometimes

I’d insist on full days and if they can’t cope then they might move faster with the EHCP support

Highly unlikely sadly due to what the schools have to stump up. Probably shouldn't mention how much an echp costs the school or folks on aibu may self destruct and we'll hear them splatter off the walls though.

Quite surprised at the the level of vitriol aimed at schools on this post.

Presumably they’re trying to do their best in challenging situations, with very limited finances, large classes often with multiple children with different needs and requirements.

From what I hear, even with a diagnosis, it can sometimes be difficult to access the specific individual assistance due to staffing, budget constraints and the needs of other children in a mainstream school.

I’m sure that can be very frustrating, but equally with classes of 30 + and limited budgets I’m not sure what some people expect?

I agree all children are entitled to a full time education, and support reasonable measures to be put in place to achieve this, but we have to be realistic. It sounds like the school in this case have identified a possible solution to help the dc, albeit it may not be practical, so they deserve some credit for this.

The way it works is this. We voted in politicians and they passed laws allowing children with sn help in schools.

In practice that help is horrendously rationed. By schools and local authorities in ways that are not in line with the law.

I also firmly believe actually it would cost us all les in the long run of children with sn were appropriately supported. Eg only 15% of dc with ASD dx will enter the work force as adults. If support in school gives people better results, better skills and better live chances maybe that figure would come down which would save a lot in benefits. Even on an economic argument, supporting dc with sn makes sense

It also isn’t rocket science - some adjustments cost nothing. Eg doing a visual timetable every morning with the class and actually my NT son loves that - so win win all round

@MoonJelly

So Dave's mummy asked a nice judge at the royal Courts of justice in London for help.

The nice judge decreed that because Mr Ego was prepaired to go to such lengths to protect his untrue beliefs, that Dave should go to a £17k a year private school plus taxi fair.

Mr Ego was upset that Dave was being educated and wouldnt just drop dead with his mother. But he slept soundly knowing it had cost £17k of government funding to stop the 6 weekly cost of £65.

Go Dave's Mum! @Legoandloldolls, presumably Mr Ego's little ego-trip also cost the lucky local authority a few thousand in legal fees as well? Silly of them not to tell Mr Ego to stop being stupid, really.

I should do a FOI or access request to see how much it cost my LA to take this all the way to court.

Refused to access, refused to issue, appeal contents and then loose it as soon as the year was up. Mr Ego was the first human alive to cure a language disorder and dyspraxia in a year ( whilst telling my son he rather thick, but didnt need help with that)
His ehcp cost nothing to the school. Nothing at all as the SLT was paid by the NHS. But he had to be right. He had to stop the therapy. He had to win and prove me wrong. I would bet my life right now that the HT didnt give even once gram of a shit about my child. The only thing he invested into is the absolute belief that there is no help and no therapy for SEN. He couldn't go onto Google and sanity check the utter BS he trotted out like rather dense flat earther.

I bet him literally cried when I won the fourth appeal. Not because he had forced a child out of mainstream unnecessarily for the rest of his schooling. But because he didnt win.

That's when I roll my eyes when people say there is no money, there is no help, there is no hope. It's not true. If your child legally needs it, they can have it and where the LA finds that money is no longer my concern and never will be again. There is shit tonnes of money to fight and loose the 85% of 2000 plus SEN tribunals in my county. Where do you think those go? Into private SEN schooling mostly. There is no money here because my county spend it fighting children into the private sector.

My case at the last appeal was in a nutshell that school said my son recovered from a lifelong condition and the SLT had made up the scores as she no proof of testing him ( who convinced her to leave her professional morals at the door I wonder?)

I do not believe that school staff know best. Some actually purposely ruin children's lives for own agenda. If the HT publically destroyed me for daring to get support then he saves his entire SEN budget to spend on new music school.

Hi @emmapemma91 I have only skimmed the thread so apologies if this has been answered, but have you suggested to the school bringing her in after everyone else has arrived? I know for a friend of mine whose daughter is autistic the being there before and at the same time as the rest of school was massively overloading her from a sensory point of view. The calmer tome after everyone else was there and settled seemed to have a much more positive effect.

That said the school don't appear to be supporting you or your dd. They just seem to be putting up barriers. Especially where the echp is concerned. I would perhaps ask for a copy of their SEN policy and use that to point out in a letter to the governers (they have to declare these to ofsted so tend to act on them)where they are failing your dd. I would also cc the local education authority and ask for a meeting to discuss their dismissive approach to your concerns. I would also speak to the school nurse team and if possible your health visitor and ask for their support and input into getting the echp.

@McFarts funny enough I’ve just made a SAR today! Although unsure how I can ‘prove’ her name, dob and address with a picture ID when she’s 6 years old? It’s not like she has a driving licence (unfortunately!)

emmapemma apologies it probably seems like logical solution in my head. I can't imagine not driving with children. Makes everything more of a challenge.
Could a TA meet with her first thing & maybe have a later rather than an earlier start?
It just sounded like the school have tried to find a solution. It would involve a staff member getting there quite early too so they can be with DD.