Our eldest went off to university a couple of weeks ago and just told me she has tested positive for Covid-19. She feels okay so far, with just cold-type symptoms which she's had for four days. She's in halls and has flatmates who can push food in to her room etc. Of course I wish she hadn't caught it, but I'm not particularly worried about her.
I don't want to tell DH until she has recovered. He worries about this sort of thing. In March when our eldest was still living at home, we (probably wrongly as it turns out) thought she might have CV, and he was beside himself. Our younger teen has a learning disability and was extremely anxious at that time about her sibling, and of course her father's behaviour made her even more frightened. He is quite incapable of keeping secrets from her even at the best of times, so I can't tell him without her finding out.
I asked my older DD's permission to keep it quiet and she agreed. I said I didn't expect her to lie, I just wasn't planning to mention it to DH. But now I am wondering whether this is fair on DH or on her. I don't know whether he'll feel I should have told him. There have been a few times in the past when he's said to me "if you do such-and-such dangerous thing please don't tell me until afterward", but he has never said he didn't want to know if DD was ill.
Plus I've realised it may be tricky for her not to tell him, because it's her birthday in a few days. No doubt we'll skype her to wish her well. He'll be asking her about her plans, whether she's going out, whether she'll celebrate at home with her flatmates, and of course the truth is she's got to stay holed up in her bedroom all alone for some time to come. It isn't so simple to avoid the subject. This may push it from "we won't mention it" to actual deception.
Should I try to keep it quiet?