Using my mums death to get a date?

[tinydancerss]

A guy who I've never met before (friend of a friend) has been trying to get me out on a date for a year.
I've told him I'm not looking for a relationship and I think of him as a brother (he's not my type )
Anyway my mum died a month ago.
He messaged me on Facebook saying he had a present for me.
Then he sent me a picture,he has got a wall art made for me with pics of my mum and me on it.
He said we will have to meet for a drink now so he can give it to me.
Aibu to think I have to meet him for a drink now?

See, he sounds soooo romantic OP, and super into you. You have to go on this date.

I can picture you both in many years, as your son is about to go on his first date with his high school crush. Your now husband says to your son "Did I ever tell you how I met your mother?. At first she didn't want to go out with me, so I...........and when the chloroform wore off she was chained to that same radiator you see now."

So sorry about your Mum.
Please recognize that her death makes you vulnerable. You won't be thinking straight and won't be for a long time. I only began to feel vaguely normal 5 years after my Mum died (and then Dad died, so back to square one as far as recovery goes).
You should not make any major decisions in the first couple of years after a major bereavement as your head is all over the place.
You're only a month in. Your head will be all over the place too. Therefore the most important thing you can and should do is to protect yourself immediately. Get him blocked THIS EVENING on everything.
He sees this as an opportunity to manipulate you into going out with him on a date. Creeps like that recognize and take advantage of vulnerability. My ex popped up again straight after my Dad died in a similar manner and it was just awful. I was trying to deal with everything and had a pushy ex hanging around too.

I will say it again, protect yourself immediately and get him blocked. That way he cannot wear you down and you cannot do anything in a moment of grief and despair which you may regret later (eg. reaching out to someone like that just because you are desperate for someone to hold you and take the pain of the bereavement away).

Ewww he’s a creep with stalker tendencies. Please don’t meet him OP. He’s well over-stepped the mark. Block block block.

More red flags than a communist parade, and as creepy as fuck.

A date? Absolute not.

It doesn't matter why he's done it. He's told you how you are going to behave in response to his gift. He doesn't get to do that.

Tell him that he can pass it on through your friend and that you're not ready for socialising.

“I’m
Not meeting you for a drink, I don’t want you to think I want to date you.”

So sorry for your loss.
It seems stalkerish behaviour to me.

Fuck no. He sounds like a stalker. He’s sounds exactly the type of person described as a ‘nice guy’.

Please don’t let the fact that social conditioning has made you feel you ‘owe’ him anything. You don’t. You’ve been clear. Say no thank you and block him on everything.

If he was a decent bloke he'd post it to you. He did it to bribe you into meeting him.

Tell him that he can pass it on through your friend and that you're not ready for socialising.

Actually, I think this is terrible advice.

Block him.

Tell your friend that you find what he's done deeply creepy, intrusive and stalkerish, and that you don't want anything passed on via him as a third party.

So sorry for the loss of your mum you’re in a vulnerable place right now, he knows it and is using it to capitalise on an opportunity to be with you. He doesn’t care about you is looking to you to fulfil his attention needs.
I never think it’s a good idea to get involved with anyone when you’re feeling this way and nothing wrong in saying that.
That he’s clearly not listening, deliberately ignoring what you’ve made more than clear. If he’s wasted the money on this canvas that’s on him, ask him to leave it with your friends boyfriend and she can give it to you when you’re up to visitors..
you’re still grieving.. what a complete and utter tw@t to be pestering you at a time like this. Block him and no longer respond, trying to be polite with guys like this when just encourages them. Stay strong you need time for you right now x

@MissConductUS

If he was a decent bloke he'd post it to you. He did it to bribe you into meeting him.

If he was a decent bloke, he wouldn't have been downloading personal photos of the OP's mum.

Be honest. Just decline OP say NO bluntly and tell him you have other things going on right now.

This is beyond gross. Please block him.

I’m sorry for your loss.

That is one of the creepiest things I’ve EVER heard don’t go!!!

Ewww no, he sounds creepy AF. Say no, and defriend/block him.

I agree block him.
As hard as it is try to ignore he has the picture.
Put your page on private.
I'm not trying to scare you but I've had an experience with a person who didn't under boundaries keep your wits about you rejection to them means they need to try harder next time.
No normal person unless VERY close to you would do this while you're grieving.

Creepy as fuck.

Never let someone's unsolicited gestures, favours or presents make you think you owe them a date, or time, or energy. You do not owe anyone who is “nice” to you a portion of your time and attention above a simple “thank you”.

Not that that this gesture is that nice tbh as it's a bit intrusive to grab photos off your social media.

Joining the throng to say nope nope nope nope nope and nope.

Nope. Nope. NOPE.

No for your opinion or privacy and so manipulative.

Ask your friends boyfriend to collect it. He stole those photos and had not permission to print them.

Please don't be another woman who doesn't think they can say no thanks to a bloke.

Sorry about your mother.

Creepy as fuck.

You're under no obligation to him. Just block him, you don't even need to reply.

@Blulorry

Be honest. Just decline OP say NO bluntly and tell him you have other things going on right now.

He will read that "other things going on just now" as an excuse to keep stalking the OP.

The OP does not want to go out with him, EVER, and he has behaved like a complete creep. He needs to be blocked everywhere.

Joining the consensus to say this is creepy and boundary-crossing, OP. Send a final message to say ‘No thank you’, if you want to, and then block and delete.

So sorry about your mum