Using my mums death to get a date?

[tinydancerss]

A guy who I've never met before (friend of a friend) has been trying to get me out on a date for a year.
I've told him I'm not looking for a relationship and I think of him as a brother (he's not my type )
Anyway my mum died a month ago.
He messaged me on Facebook saying he had a present for me.
Then he sent me a picture,he has got a wall art made for me with pics of my mum and me on it.
He said we will have to meet for a drink now so he can give it to me.
Aibu to think I have to meet him for a drink now?

Christ Almighty, no.

Fuck right off.

Slimeball. Bet he's hoping for a Bereavement Fuck as well.

Weird creepy behaviour.

Erm...nope. That’s weird and creepy. Stay away from this man.

That's extremely creepy.

Definitely make your excuses.

Yuk what a creepy twat. Time to stop being polite and block him.

Creepy, manipulative and inappropriate. Block him - just because he's your friend's boyfriend's friend (friend of a friend of a friend? that's how vague it is) doesn't mean you owe him anything or need have anything to do with him. If and when there's an engagement party, you'll have a date of your own.

Very odd. What does your best friend say about him?

[quote tinydancerss]@BettySweaty he has taken them off my Facebook page.[/quote]
The blokes a creep. I'd have blocked him as soon as he told me that.

Creepy AF. He's trying to BRIBE you into dating him, and with a spectacularly red-flags-galore gift.

You don't have to lie to this guy just because he doesn't want to hear what you have to say. It's perfectly fine to say "I'm sorry, I don't want to date you - not now, not ever. And you sure as fuck don't need to see him just because the creepy bastard has told you that you do.

Absolute creep, block him.

Im sorry you’ve lost your Mum

Urgh, creepy and manipulative. You'd be mad to meet him on an emotionally blackmailed date.

Block him and tell your best friend how creepy he is so he can't get info about you from her.

My friend thinks he is creepy.
She said he's always in people's faces and just too much.
She said he's brother is that same.

Have you told your friend about this? The one who knows him. Whats her take on it?
Definitely don't meet him. You didn't ask for him to get wall art made so you owe him nothing.

My FIL recently passed and I've made 2 photo books for my DH and my SIL but thats a completely different situation.
What he did is so weird and comes over as manipulative.

*the

There’s a whole subject in psychology about women always trying to be nice. Some of it is because we were conditioned to “be good girls” and some because we are scared of our safety so we learn to appease early on.
You didn’t owe him an explanation. These creeps think a ‘no’ is a ‘yes’ and you are playing hard to get.
Don’t even think of going anywhere near him. These people are intense and can be dangerous as they’d push you more and more into a corner.
Just block him on everywhere. Don’t say anything, don’t engage with him. Block him everywhere. And tell you friend and her boyfriend to stop feeding info to him. You are not into him. You don’t owe them an explanation either. He’s not your type. End of story. If they ignore you maybe you need to rethink that friendship.
I’m so sorry about your mum. It’s terrible and he’s abusing it.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Agree with every other person here. Block him. I appreciate that you may feel that doing so may make things awkward in the few occasions your paths may cross; but believe me, ANYONE would agree that you'd done the right thing to block him given the circumstances. It is beyond creepy and weird to do what he's done.

I don't think this guy understands boundaries, OP, or at the very least he lacks the awareness that this comes across as manipulative; using what must be very difficult time for you for his gain, perhaps to take advantage of your emotional position. Block! Creep!

Another one saying you’re under no obligation. Trust your gut. Block.

“I’m afraid I don’t feel a connection” can work if you find it hard to say ‘no, thank you’.

That sounds utterly horrible, intrusive, tacky and stalkerish.

Stay as far away as you possibly can.

He is creepy as fuck taking your personal photos of you and your DM.
Listen to your instincts don't go near him imagine trying to break up with him.
I'm really sorry about your DM.
I'd be very angry with him this is a very personal gift he made.

To use photos of you and your Mum in this way is beyond inappropriate and intrusive. To take advantage of your Mum’s passing in this way is very worrying - you certainly do not have to meet him, he sounds unhinged.
Take care of yourself at this time, don’t give any of your time to this person.

That is so creepy and manipulative. It’s shit that women are taught from early age that we must appease men and not hurt their feelings... you owe him absolutely nothing, you don’t have to be nice to him. You’re allowed to not want to date him or talk to him.

Do you think a guy would feel guilted into dating if this was a woman doing this? Course not, he’d laugh and take the piss

Ew, that's so wrong on many levels. I'd be honest tbh. Tell him he's crossed the line and you've already told him you don't want to date.

It's time to get angry, not appeasing! How dare he?