Using my mums death to get a date?

[tinydancerss]

A guy who I've never met before (friend of a friend) has been trying to get me out on a date for a year.
I've told him I'm not looking for a relationship and I think of him as a brother (he's not my type )
Anyway my mum died a month ago.
He messaged me on Facebook saying he had a present for me.
Then he sent me a picture,he has got a wall art made for me with pics of my mum and me on it.
He said we will have to meet for a drink now so he can give it to me.
Aibu to think I have to meet him for a drink now?

I’m sorry to hear about your mum OP you don’t need to go out with anyone you don’t want to. So even apart from this slightly odd stuff, do you want to date him? No? Then just say no. It’s okay to do that.

What a revolting, manipulative creep. Stop feeling guilty OP. If anything, you should be livid, that he’s actually tried to manipulate the death of your mother into a golden opportunity for him to sleaze on to you. Think about it! He’s lifted personal photos of you and your dear mother in order to play with your emotions. What kind of decent human being does that.

while you may have felt you should accept his facebook friend request in the past - now you know from your friend that even she finds him creepy you should feel the power of mumsnet behind you and BLOCK the freaky wierdo...
no need for any niceties - in the words of Nike - just do it!

Hell, I'd be asking him why he's taken it so far! To take pictures off your FB of your mother. He doesn't know you, he didn't know her. This is completely inappropriate.
Why has he done this, it's plain weird and not his place to be having pictures of you & your mum.
He is either pathetic or crazy - no need to be polite to him. What he's done is not on.

Its was manipulative of him, and it sounds like it might have worked based on your title. I hope these posts have changed your mind. You have those photos, you can make one of your own if you want it.

At first when I read this I thought he was just trying to be kind. Thought he was doing a good thing.

But the more you've said about him, the creepier and more intrusive he sounds.

Very sorry about your mum.

That's really creepy of the man. Especially as I'm assuming that he didn't actually know your mum.

I'd unfriend and block him.

You can tell people you don´t fancy them. Saying they are like a brother when you haven´t even met them is offering them a way in to a having a place in your life that they don´t deserve. That is how he ends up making you art. "Sorry, I am not interested" gives no opening. You can even say it to him now. And then remove him from fb as you don´t know him.

This is so, so creepy. Why would he think that was ok?

I wouldn’t be letting him down gently at this point. I’d be saying that he has crossed a line.

Stalky and creepy. You need to put your foot down now, very clearly. This type of person does not respond to polite refusals.

Dear X,

You overstepped boundaries.
Please do not contact me again.

OP

Do not reply to any responses he might send in response.

Then it’s harassment, if he doesn’t stop. A crime.

Absolute weirdo.

Christ on a bike. This is as creepy AF.
Please block him on everything. You do not have to meet or date anyone that you don't want to EVER.
Any chance your friends boyfriend could have a word along the lines of "it's not happening, ever. Leave her alone."
In future please say, "No thanks/ I'm not interested /Thanks for the offer but I don't want to.
You do not owe anyone an explanation.
I am so sorry for your loss 💐 🍷. Be kind to yourself and sod anyone else.

Disturbing!

This is really weird and inappropriate and you should block him and ignore him.

4 main issues:

• Not accepting your boundaries. Supposed to be a clear flag of future problem behaviour.
• Creepy at worse, extremely misguided at best to take the pictures from your FB page and make something out of them around your mother's death. I might do that for my very best friend, if I thought they'd appreciate it. No one else, and certainly not someone I don't actually know.

-- The 'gift' being contingent on a date.

• Using your mother's death in this way is just awful.

Run and block.

Unless I've read this wrong, you don't fancy him, so I don't understand the logic of you "using your mum's death to get a date". You don't want a date, right, so why do you need it as a reason?

Just don't answer his invitation to go on a date. Keep it simple.

That’s creepy as fuck. You don’t owe him anything.

I’m sorry about your mum.

Sorry, he's using it as a reason - title was confusing.

As everyone else says, just ignore, delete, block, weird AF

It sounds like you know it's not a good idea to meet him, OP. So why the obligation?

Sorry to hear about your Mum

So intrusive and inappropriate. How dare he presume to take your personal memories like that and use them to back you into a corner over a date? It shows a real lack of respect for you.

I lost my mum last year and this would give me the red mist.

Avoid, avoid, avoid.

OP give him an earful.
I'd be so upset he was looking through my photos copying them.
Even if you block him he has your picture.
You can't destroy it as it is of your DM he has put you in a horrible emotional situation.

God no.

Tell him ‘No I’m not interested.’

He’s being vile and creepy and nobody asked him for the wall art he stole pictures off your fb to make.

Remove and block him from your fb and have nothing to do with him.

I so wish women didn’t feel they need to be polite and worry about the feelings of creepy perverts who follow them around and try to coerce women to date them.

I’m trying so hard to teach my daughters to say blankly, ‘No I’m not interested’ to men who are being sex pests, without fear.

Is this a joke? Surely?!! If not, what he’s suggesting is very very weird. Please be careful OP.

Just block him. On everything.

If he finds away around it, tell him you're contacting the police.

Eewww that is one of the creepiest things I've ever heard.

for your mum, btw. 12 years on, and I still miss my mum terribly - it is a very hard loss to bear.