To accept that I’ll never make any new friends now I’m in my forties?

[99ProblemsButTheBeachAintOne]

I’ll get right to the point; as juvenile as it sounds, a few years ago I lost all of my friendship circle in just one, fateful evening. There was nothing outrageous or monstrous, I just dared to stand up to the Queen Bee about her own behaviour. I was excommunicated. I can only suspect lots of truths have been twisted and lies have been told as it’s no exaggeration to say I’m now a social pariah. I’d known and supported these women through thick and thin for almost two decades and stupidly put all of my eggs in one basket as through a combination of circumstances (e.g constantly moved, didn’t go to uni etc.) I have literally no other friends. These women were it.
I’m happily married with wonderful kids and I’ve tried to be content with my lot but I’m just so desperately lonely and sad for what I’ll never have again.

This post has made me cry.. I'm so lonely.. I've lost my confidence as like Op I lost my friends when one'dumped' me by text as 'frankly I wasn't much fun anymore'.. I'd been physically and mentally unwell for a number of years.. I tried really hard not to talk about being ill..but that left nothing else to say..(no energy to even speak some days)..then 2 close friends died..
I have other friends but they do stuff with other friends.. I've tried reaching out...but I'm so tired and my whole personality was shredded so badly who'd want to be friends with me.. I've given up and live quietly now..(btw I have close friends who live hours away and a good marriage and adult children)

@Marylou62

I hear you. I hope it turns around for you.

You can’t make new old friends. But of course you can make new friends.

@99ProblemsButTheBeachAintOne.. thank you.. Noyou too...

You too.. don't know happened there!

It's never too late to make new friends!

You're probably just hurting at the moment (understandably) and it'll take a while to get over it. It was a 20 year relationship, after all. If they were all so quick to take the Queen bee's side, they probably weren't such great friends in the first place.

Apologies if already mentioned and appreciate it's not easy currently , but joining something that meets regularly is a big help. I was in a WI for 5 years, a modern group, it was brilliant and had many social events and spin off activities. It was a big icebreaker in the village where it was hard to get to know people if you had moved in and were not in the school/church/scouts/young farmers already. Also if you have any craft skills you will be in demand.

The WI website is a bit uninspiring but any local group worth its salt will have a website or Facebook page to give you an idea.

Same goes for regular classes, choirs, book groups, mountaineering clubs etc.

I feel for you though as I fell out with the mummy circle locally, we moved area then so at least had a clean break.

Some of my best friendships were made after I was 40! I know people who've made new friends in their 90s. 2020 isn't the greatest year for making friends, but this applies to any age.

I think asking parents and children to accept persistent disruption to their learning is too big an ask actually. Whatever the reason. It’s just not fair on the majority. Needs to be more funding.

Sorry wrong thread!

I moved to a new country with my partner at age 65. Didn't know anyone and couldn't speak the language.. Four years later I have a great bunch of friends, some British but quite a few locals. I joined in community events, took some classes and made a real effort to get to know people. I still keep in touch with old friends it is true but have met some real gems here. All my closest friends since leaving school have been met through sharing of joint interests so I highly recommend taking some classes.

I think I have just made a new friend, on Bumble of all places! Despairing that almost all activities are closed due to covid, I decided to go internet friend dating. There's a friendship-only setting, on bumble it just shows other women.

Had to message about 10 people to get a couple of replies, but one seemed nice and agreed to meet up. We went for a lovely walk, send have texted since and trying to find a time to meet again. I'm chatting to another new person on there as well.

Don't give up, and play the odds. Friendship-finding is a statistical game: finding ways to meet lots of people who are open to friendship and have something in common with you. Only a small percentage of those early contacts become lasting friends; but hopefully even if you only have a short chat, its still pleasant.

This exact same thing happened to me. I still see them socially at the same club and am ignored so it is incredibly awkward. I know this is a thread from last year but I just wondered how things are now ? I always wonder why the nastiest person in the group keeps the friendships.

My granny got divorced in her late 50s moved area and thought she’d never rebuild a social life. She joined a club and made some wonderful friends and had the most amazing social life. One of those friends became so close that the friend’s daughter gave her some of her mother’s jewellery when she died and used some of her inheritance to buy my granny a new car. I hadn’t appreciated how hard it must have been for her to re-build a life but she did and had a wonderful time.

I'm useless at making friends and haven't really had any for the last 20 years. I think I'm just too odd to connect with most people in real life. There are a couple of people from work that I sometimes did a specific hobby type thing with (pre-Covid) but they both have very full social lives. I sometimes wish I had friends, as I enjoyed having them when I was younger, but I've forgotten how to conduct a friendship. I'm just not into most of the things people talk about at work - children, Netflix serials, social-media etc.

That sounds awful op. So sorry this has happened to you.
I'd also like to reccommend Meetup. You can tailor it to your local area and to your interests. A lot of the activities are free. If you don't enjoy a particular group or activity you never have to go back!
You could also think about setting up your own group. I am not an outgoing person by any means but I set up my own group almost 2 years ago and love my meet up's.