Am I an awful parent?

[Randomnamechange26]

I know this will probably generate a lot of hate either way, so name change.

I occasionally, smoke a joint or two to help unwind.

I have a physical disability which affects my joints and muscles. I'm a long term smoker from my youth but have dramatically cut back since having my DC.

I see so much 'mummy wine culture' and having a bottle or a few glasses in an evening and this is totally acceptable, but, smoking a joint or two is totally different and deemed, 'neglectful, outrageous and automatically a druggy'

An I an awful parent? Is it seriously not that common anymore?

My parents smoked it when I grew up so did DH's, a lot of our friends have or still do.

It's hard to escape crime in our world. Even big pharma are tarnished.

Even Microsoft were using child labour in mines to get a component for their laptops.

Each one is suicidal, unaware of there own actions and the nasty things they do to people. One took edibles which turned out to be ket. One unfortunately died in horrible circumstances. I don't say this to be mean it's just what I've seen.

[quote Randomnamechange26]@pinkyu So, if I lived in a legal country, id be a good parent?[/quote]
No, you wouldn’t.

Same as those idiot parents that get drunk when caring for dc. Doesn’t matter that alcohol is legal.

Getting drunk, or high, is something you expect daft teens or not quite grown up twenties to do.

Some people never grow up enough to be parents.

Not exactly all your fault, if you did grow up with parents who couldn’t pull it together enough to stop smoking it for your sake. Your dc will probably do the same, and your grand dc.

You probably shouldn’t have had dc, not exactly fair on them to enter in to this fucked up cycle (that I have seen happen with drink and drugs in families).

it does mean you are supporting the criminal underworld

It really doesn't.

I think the wine v weed argument is an unhelpful one. Both if abused are life ruining.

Well, if you’re an awful parent then so am I.

I absolutely loathe alcohol and binge drinking culture. I take no medications. But my goodness me, if my marijuana tincture isn’t a lifesaver in terms of insomnia and anxiety.

I’m in the US, and the edibles are fabulous—no fillers, all organic if you wish. I wouldn’t smoke, however, as I like to stay fit.

From personal experience here as a child.

Both of my parents smoked weed.

My df smokes constantly, is basically always stoned, has lost jobs, not picked me up from clubs, lost his house and marriage because of it. Pretty shitty behaviour there.

My dm will have the occasional joint, never around me (even as an adult, certainly never when I was a child), holds down a very responsible high pressure job, never once let me down because of it, has not got herself into mountains of debt because of it. No problem there at all.

The sole issue I have with it is in this country, it being illegal means the buying of it feeds all sorts of shady shit that I wouldn't want on my conscience. But then so does eating meat, using a smartphone and myriad other aspects of life in the developed world in the 21st century. All of which I do so it would be a touch hypocritical to complain too much really.

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

it does mean you are supporting the criminal underworld

It really doesn't.

By purchasing drugs from an illegal provider, it supports the criminal underworld- aka the people who produce and distribute drugs. Weed is illegal where OP is.

I grew my own this summer. Though that is illegal too ...but I just bought seeds

I know not everyone had the option but I'd try to get a babysitter. Have a night off without the guilt/fear. Is that an option for you?

Do some of the posters on here think that the only way to smoke weed is to get extremely high?

Or do they faint with horror every time they see a couple with kids both drinking a single glass of wine over an evening? Because it's entirely possible to be no more affected than that.

Personally I don't smoke it, I've tried it when younger and it didn't agree with me, and I also would look askance at anyone who was happily funding dodgy dealers and county lines operations. But this talk of inebriation and comparing to extreme drunkenness is not fair.

Are you looking for a pat on the back to make you feel better?

All things in moderation..

@sst1234 no, a spliff would be much better 😝

@OverTheRubicon

Do some of the posters on here think that the only way to smoke weed is to get extremely high?

Or do they faint with horror every time they see a couple with kids both drinking a single glass of wine over an evening? Because it's entirely possible to be no more affected than that.

Personally I don't smoke it, I've tried it when younger and it didn't agree with me, and I also would look askance at anyone who was happily funding dodgy dealers and county lines operations. But this talk of inebriation and comparing to extreme drunkenness is not fair.

I always wonder this on these threads too.

It's always 'YABU and I'd say the same if you were hammered when your kids were in your care too' as if the OP must be stoned out of her skull and lay unable to move on the sofa.

No one would bat an eyelid over a couple having one or two glasses of wine in an evening. Me and my husband often have a couple on a Friday night with the kids here.

It's perfectly possible to smoke weed and not be completely incapacitated or emotionally unavailable to your kids 🙄

Canadian here with...ahem...experience smoking a joint or two. I would trust myself far more after a bit of weed than after a few glasses of wine. Frankly, I think it's a far better option anyway.

You're not a horrible parent. Think of it this way: Would you be horrified of your best friend did this with her child? If not, it's ok.

I don’t see an issue as long as you don’t do it while you are watching over the kids and more importantly, if you are growing the weed yourself.

Do you really know a lot of people who drink a bottle a night? That is a serious drink problem, so comparing yourself to that level of alcohol dependency doesn't make it OK.

I'm biased against it as I react really badly to it so I hate the stuff, can't even stand the smell. But it does have medicinal properties that some people find really beneficial so if it helps you, that's fine. As long as it isn't making you woolly during the day when caring for DC.

I wouldn't leave my babies with a drug taker personally. I know a few people who smoke weed that think its OK but they are all a bit..... its hard to explain. They have the look.

There is a clear link between cannabis use in teens and psychiatric illness.

I'm a 1 glass of wine and feeling drunk kind of person though so do not drink. I wouldn't want to socialise with people who think drug use is OK.

I dont think you're a bad parent because you occasionally smoke weed. I live in a country where weed is fully legal. You dont always get stoned when you smoke, just like you dont always get inebriated when you drink. There are different strains of weed so some just give you pain/body relief without affecting your mind. There are a lot of uneducated ppl out there. And yes, I occasionally take edibles and I'm a fully functioning!

To me the fact you’re asking means either you know you are smoking enough for it to have a detrimental effect and are genuinely concerned (in which case listen to yourself), you want to get on your soup box about how weed is fine but alcohol is the devil (whilst chugging both, but maybe that’s just my ex) or you’ve smoked enough to make yourself paranoid.
Any of which are a problem.
If you are just taking a small medicinal amount each day for a medical problem which apparently it can help with, why fret? Just be careful, we all know even medicinal
drugs can become problematic.

I think the answer to your question depends on many variables. If you were just using it for recreation, then I would say occasional use - maybe a couple of times a month - is not ideal but OK (which of us is a perfect parent?). But regular use, being dependent on it, is not good for you or good for your child.

BUT, if you're using it because you're suffering chronic pain then that's entirely different, and I would say as long as you're keeping a check on how much and when you're using it, which it sounds like you are, then go ahead.

(I'm not in the 'cannabis is fine, it's better than alcohol' camp, despite using it back in the day myself, because I have a family member whose life was ruined by schizophrenia that was probably triggered by cannabis use when he was young.)

I don't approve of it.

I also don't approve of the 'mummy wine culture' you mentioned either.

I hate all drugs and alcohol.