Am I an awful parent?

[Randomnamechange26]

I know this will probably generate a lot of hate either way, so name change.

I occasionally, smoke a joint or two to help unwind.

I have a physical disability which affects my joints and muscles. I'm a long term smoker from my youth but have dramatically cut back since having my DC.

I see so much 'mummy wine culture' and having a bottle or a few glasses in an evening and this is totally acceptable, but, smoking a joint or two is totally different and deemed, 'neglectful, outrageous and automatically a druggy'

An I an awful parent? Is it seriously not that common anymore?

My parents smoked it when I grew up so did DH's, a lot of our friends have or still do.

You are one specific parent. Using weed. Your child is one specific child. Regardless of the liberal arguments around drug use and the comparisons to drinking wine, the crux of it is your dependant child deserves better than a parent who is absent emotionally through weed: distracted, at increased risk of psychosis and spending significant sums of money on drugs.

😂😂 and the award for the most dramatic post goes to...... 😂😂😂

It wasn’t about being absent minded. It was about being absent emotionally. A more nuanced distinction.

The emotional absence and distance that prolonged use of weed produces is very, very much at odds with attuned and empathetic parenting. I would be saying similar had you invited the question regarding regular drinking. The flaw in your argument is in you affirming that just because others do similar it’s ok for you to persist in your habit. It’s not. The fact that other parents may be harming and emotionally neglecting their children does not make it ok for you to do so.

You sound intelligent and caring. Please stop.

@Whatisthisfuckery definitely not how I'd describe myself at all. Can happily go days oe weeks with out smoking. Like I said in PC I saw a comment/thread regarding smoking/drinking hence my question. 😊 Glad you were able to over come your addiction though!

Weed is only legal in Canada for medical reasons
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannabis_in_Canada
Cannabis in Canada is legal for both recreational and medicinal purposes

@Heffalooomia

Weed is only legal in Canada for medical reasons en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannabis_in_Canada Cannabis in Canada is legal for both recreational and medicinal purposes

Having lived there myself, I can assure you it is NOT as simple as you are implying! It is heavily regulated. Smoking whilst in charge of a child (whether asleep or awake) would STILL land you in the same bother it would here - if not worse!

I think wine culture is awful and i think regularly smoking is a terrible role model.

Fair enough OP, like I said I don’t know you. Experience leads me to certain onsclusions though, but that is just my experience. I can’t smoke it at all, it messes up my MH and there’s no occasionally. If I’ve got it it will be smoked til it’s gone, and then I’ll go and look for more. I haven’t touched it for a long time for that reason.

@ladymacbethwasmisiunderstood Apologies, but, I'm unsure where I stated anywhere that, that because people around me do so it continues me doing it, I states its fit medical reasons not just fun 😊

I don't smoke all day every day. I'm not emotionally abusing my DC, in the slightest. If anything I'm a way better parent when I'm not in excruciating pain.

I don't think it's okay to regularly become inebriated when children are in your care. I think alcohol consumption is just as bad. I know someone who drinks regularly and gets drunk regularly while looking after their DC. I don't think it's ever morally okay. I would not feel in control of the situation and I wouldn't feel emotionally available for my children.

I'm much more concerned with the mundane stuff like being present and clear headed if my child wakes up crying because they've had a nightmare or something.

Oh. I’ve just seen I’ve won the award for “most dramatic post”. What Ever? Or just today? Really? Well, there you go. I truly thought I posted a measured, thoughtful response to an articulate question regarding drug use.

I’m totally baffled about the mindset of a person who could think I’m being “dramatic” to highlight the risks of drug use.

On reflection, I was obviously wrong to think I had anything to offer here at all.

@LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood

Oh. I’ve just seen I’ve won the award for “most dramatic post”. What Ever? Or just today? Really? Well, there you go. I truly thought I posted a measured, thoughtful response to an articulate question regarding drug use.

I’m totally baffled about the mindset of a person who could think I’m being “dramatic” to highlight the risks of drug use.

On reflection, I was obviously wrong to think I had anything to offer here at all.

There's quite a lot of potheads on MN. Their rebuttals of choice is to 'laugh' at anyone who shows any concerns whatsoever for cannabis use. Lots of '' etc etc. No valid argument for it, it seems. Besides that age old classic "Well alcohol is legal!?!"

You’re buying drugs OP, obviously that’s bad parenting.

@CloudyVanilla

I don't think it's okay to regularly become inebriated when children are in your care. I think alcohol consumption is just as bad. I know someone who drinks regularly and gets drunk regularly while looking after their DC. I don't think it's ever morally okay. I would not feel in control of the situation and I wouldn't feel emotionally available for my children.

I'm much more concerned with the mundane stuff like being present and clear headed if my child wakes up crying because they've had a nightmare or something.

EXACTLY!!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

I’d look at finding a different delivery method. Smoking it isn’t great for your health.

@pinkyu So, if I lived in a legal country, id be a good parent?

I've ended contact with a few weed smoking friends who claimed they had it under control, but they were in denial. It made them antisocial, lazy, paranoid and judgemental and highly critical. They all said it had no effect, kept them calm, was medical, saintly when compared to drinking, they were so much better than me, so enlightened. I try not to judge anyone for what they do but they honestly couldn't see the damage they were causing to others.
An occasional joint here or there is fine but if it becomes a habit it really affects your brain don't care what anyone says I've seen it.

@cloudyvanilla I personally don't drink, this is my only vice. I don't smoke 10 joints an evening to knock me so unconscious that I can't respond to my family's needs. Quite the opposite, I ensure I'm not 'high' before bed and maje sure my only /last is at least 2 hours before I plan going to sleep but I do totally agree with the point you are making

I have been given pain meds from the doctors that make me feel tired, dizzy, sick, spaced out and generally awful.

I sometimes have a joint or two, that does the same for the pain that the meds the doctors gave me but with absolutely none of the side effects.

I know which one makes me a better parent, having it occasionally doesn't cost the earth, certainly less than many pastimes that relax people, and it doesn't mean that you're part of a criminal underworld at all.

So yes, words like"emotionally absent parent" and "significant sums of money" are ridiculous hyperbole.

Using it for pain instead of prescribed drugs with stupid amounts of side effects is a perfectly valid argument, that has nothing to do with "but alcohol is legal".

@imworthit no, I totally agree, rolpnged extensive use is not what I am doing and know from my past experience (before dc) that's who I was too!

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

I have been given pain meds from the doctors that make me feel tired, dizzy, sick, spaced out and generally awful.

I sometimes have a joint or two, that does the same for the pain that the meds the doctors gave me but with absolutely none of the side effects.

I know which one makes me a better parent, having it occasionally doesn't cost the earth, certainly less than many pastimes that relax people, and it doesn't mean that you're part of a criminal underworld at all.

So yes, words like"emotionally absent parent" and "significant sums of money" are ridiculous hyperbole.

Using it for pain instead of prescribed drugs with stupid amounts of side effects is a perfectly valid argument, that has nothing to do with "but alcohol is legal".

Using illegal drugs does make you part of the criminal underworld, even if indirectly. If you want to advocate for using drugs despite that then it's your prerogative, but it does mean you are supporting the criminal underworld.

Meanwhile in an alternate universe 'iabu missing e', drugs lovers on MN romanticising it missing the good ol days of hard drugs. Weird split personality forum.

Op I'd much rather have a joint.

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult This! Ive been on ever so strong opiates which I wouldn't ever trust myself to parent on, they are basically herion in lesser form. Which is apparently less judged than a joint or two. Im not sure what I was trying to gain but have come away feeling much better as I know I'm not an extensive user nor abusing my children 😅

Honestly op, you don’t need our approval or true approval of ANYONE to do what you gotta do to get through life.

Please don’t judge yourself or allow others to try to.

It wouldn’t make a top 10,000 list of good parenting habits would it?