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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To call out my work colleague on her unacceptable view

263 replies

Marg33t · 27/09/2020 17:19

She posted today on Facebook that she was sick of hearing about the death of one police officer as there's more important things going on and it's a risk they accept.

I've got family members in the force and quite honestly they are hero's doing very difficult work that not many people would do. I can't stand this anti police sentiment. I've got a meeting with her and many others tomorrow afternoon and I'm worried I won't be able to keep my cool. Would it be unreasonable to send her a private message to say how offensive her post was? I want to say nothing, but I m not sure I can

OP posts:
PhilSwagielka · 28/09/2020 10:48

Sneak.

MindyStClaire · 28/09/2020 10:49

Shock OP you've really let yourself down with the Blue Lives Matter reference. Do you know the origin of that?! I've most often seen it used in defense of American police officers accused of shooting black members of the public.

SinisterBumFacedCat · 28/09/2020 10:51

In my experience people often share this stuff to deliberately provoke, I had one family member who kept sharing stuff about mental health problems in children being a myth, her best friend had a young daughter with depression. Maybe the colleague knows someone with family who are police officers.

PersonaNonGarter · 28/09/2020 10:54

OMG OP, that’s so off of you. You are doxxing your FB friend! Really poor and it will (hopefully) backfire on you.

What a sneak. What’s couldn’t you just scroll on, rather than make trouble for her with her employer.

GetOffYourHighHorse · 28/09/2020 10:54

'I've most often seen it used in defense of American police officers accused of shooting black members of the public.'

It has been used frequently on Twitter to show respect and support for police officers and their families.

I find it depressing that the ops colleague is a bit bored by it all and thinks people should not talk about a shocking murder 3 days later. That said I would just defriend. Reporting sm crap is a waste of time really unless it is racism and hate speech obviously.

Cadent · 28/09/2020 10:56

@GetOffYourHighHorse it’s not acceptable to use Blue Lives Matter. It’s crass and insensitive and hopefully every employer, including the police, see that.

GetOffYourHighHorse · 28/09/2020 11:02

[quote Cadent]@GetOffYourHighHorse it’s not acceptable to use Blue Lives Matter. It’s crass and insensitive and hopefully every employer, including the police, see that.[/quote]
Crass and insensitive to you perhaps. In view of the tragic murder of Sgt Ratana I suggest it is more crass and insensitive of you to complain about it.

madcatladyforever · 28/09/2020 11:05

I just don't know why people have to spout their opinions at work. Why can't they just get on with their jobs.
Nobody knows what I think at work or what I do in my spare time, it's far more professional.

AlexaShutUp · 28/09/2020 11:09

Wow...blue lives matter? I've heard it all now.

I am deeply sorry for the family of Matt Ratana, the policeman who was killed. It sounds like he was an amazing man, and it's terrible that he was killed while doing his job.

That doesn't give you the right to shut down free speech. Your colleague is entitled to her opinion, whether you like it or not. She has not broken any laws in expressing her views, and I very much doubt that she has breached the social media policy either. The mere fact that you're offended by what she has said doesn't mean that she has no right to say it.

As for blue lives, really, it should not be necessary to explain why the use of this phrase is completely inappropriate, given the context of institutional racism within the police and the killing of George Floyd in the US. So ironic when you are complaining about your colleague posting things that others might find offensive.

Pollypocket89 · 28/09/2020 11:13

I just don't know why people have to spout their opinions at work. Why can't they just get on with their jobs.

Only the op has brought this into work..

Caelano · 28/09/2020 11:15

Great post @AlexaShutUp. I’m sure every right thinking individual feels nothing but sympathy for the police officer’s family and of course no one should be murdered while carrying out their duties.

But ‘Blue lives matter...’? Bloody hell. Fortunately that phrase has bypassed me on social media thank god

Original poster
Marg33t · 28/09/2020 11:16

Actually it was her that mentioned blue lives (dont) matter first, so you're all agreeing with me that she was unacceptable and needed to be reported! 😊

OP posts:
Original poster
Marg33t · 28/09/2020 11:17

@SinisterBumFacedCat

In my experience people often share this stuff to deliberately provoke, I had one family member who kept sharing stuff about mental health problems in children being a myth, her best friend had a young daughter with depression. Maybe the colleague knows someone with family who are police officers.
Thank you, I agree
OP posts:
Florencex · 28/09/2020 11:27

@Marg33t

Actually it was her that mentioned blue lives (dont) matter first, so you're all agreeing with me that she was unacceptable and needed to be reported! 😊
After nine pages, that is what you conclude. 🙄

I don’t even believe the addition of “blue lives matter”, you only came up with that after eight pages of people telling you what a despicable human being you are.

DueNumberTwo · 28/09/2020 11:28

I don’t even believe the addition of “blue lives matter”, you only came up with that after eight pages of people telling you what a despicable human being you are.

I know, absolute nonsense of a drip feed

Ponoka7 · 28/09/2020 11:28

I voted YABU over confronting her face to face in the workplace. You've done the right thing. She's an arsehole. I don't like the Police but the death of Andrew Harper has stayed with me. I feel for his poor Mother and family.

She needed reporting. The crime in the UK has changed because of the greater access to guns, the rise in knife crime and terrorism. As much as I hate the culture of the Police, I respect the need for them and the sacrifice.

thedancingbear · 28/09/2020 11:28

Actually it was her that mentioned blue lives (dont) matter first, so you're all agreeing with me that she was unacceptable and needed to be reported!

Don't believe you OP.

MrsCakeTheMedium · 28/09/2020 11:29

This is one of those threads, isn't it?

OP: AIBU?
Everyone (almost): Yes.
OP: OMG how dare you, also I'm changing my story slightly with every post to make it that IANBU.
Everyone (almost): YAstillBU
OP: No way.

Ponoka7 · 28/09/2020 11:30

@Pollypocket89, when you list your workplace on Social media and add your work colleagues, you're taking your views into work.

AlexaShutUp · 28/09/2020 11:31

So she was challenging the blue lives matter narrative, and you decided to take offense?

You do realise that people who are objecting to the "blue lives matter" phrase aren't actually arguing that police lives are unimportant?

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 28/09/2020 11:32

Actually it was her that mentioned blue lives (dont) matter first, so you're all agreeing with me that she was unacceptable and needed to be reported!

This is definitely 100% fact, and not made up to make the op look better Hmm

GetOffYourHighHorse · 28/09/2020 11:35

'I don't like the Police'

I don't understand how people can make such a sweeping statement. Its like saying 'I don't like teachers'. There are good and bad in all professions and we are lucky in this country that police brutality isn't the norm. You only have to watch progtammes like Police Interceptors or Code Red to see the abuse and assaults they endure on a daily basis.

jdoejnr1 · 28/09/2020 11:38

@AlexaShutUp

Wow...blue lives matter? I've heard it all now.

I am deeply sorry for the family of Matt Ratana, the policeman who was killed. It sounds like he was an amazing man, and it's terrible that he was killed while doing his job.

That doesn't give you the right to shut down free speech. Your colleague is entitled to her opinion, whether you like it or not. She has not broken any laws in expressing her views, and I very much doubt that she has breached the social media policy either. The mere fact that you're offended by what she has said doesn't mean that she has no right to say it.

As for blue lives, really, it should not be necessary to explain why the use of this phrase is completely inappropriate, given the context of institutional racism within the police and the killing of George Floyd in the US. So ironic when you are complaining about your colleague posting things that others might find offensive.

That argument would work in the USA, but we are in the UK and it has a different meaning. Importing offence and context from a country 4000 miles away does little to add to the debate. We might have a common language but that's where the similarities end.
thedancingbear · 28/09/2020 11:38

You only have to watch programmes like Police Interceptors or Code Red to see the abuse and assaults they endure on a daily basis.

Do you not think, just possibly, that officers may moderate their behaviour just a little bit when they are being followed by a film crew from a national television channel?

I agree with you that the sweeping statement of 'i don't like the police' is not helpful. There are bad eggs in every profession. Unfortunately, a corrupt copper is in a position to destroy people's lives.

FrankieDoyle · 28/09/2020 11:40

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

Actually it was her that mentioned blue lives (dont) matter first, so you're all agreeing with me that she was unacceptable and needed to be reported!

This is definitely 100% fact, and not made up to make the op look better Hmm

This .

OP stop embarrassing yourself.