Neighbour asked me to be quiet

[DBML]

Good afternoon!

My husband and I work full time. My son is 15 and never plays loud games or music. We bought him earphones many years ago so as not to disturb us, let alone neighbours. We are a quiet family; no parties; no late TV; no pets; nothing.

Anyway, next door (SAHM) have a two and a half year old and I understand how difficult that is, but I am getting a little pissed off. We hear the baby crying, sometimes screaming with a little tantrum and ignore...all very normal, no harm done.

But, I put the vacuum on on a Saturday to Hoover around and I get a text asking me if I can turn it off as they are trying to put the baby down for a nap and he won’t go.

Today, I’ve just almost finished my big clean of the week (as I said, I work full time) the vacuum is on at 1.30pm for less than a minute when I get the text.

‘Hey hun - were trying to get ** off to sleep. Can you do the vacuuming some other time?’

I want to say ‘actually, no I can’t. I’m doing my housework now’.

Would I be unreasonable to just start the vacuum up now and finish the job?

And if the replies agreeing with your neighbour had come first then probably everyone would have followed and you'd have made a different choice.

That's terrible! Block her on your phone. If she says anything about say you have a new one and are not sharing the number. Don't send kisses. Blimey I would be furious.

@Feelguiltyoverever

My neighbour works nights so if I hoover Before 2pm she bangs a hammer against the wall - if we make too much noise upstairs she also bangs. Yes the walls are paper thin. We don’t play music etc the noise would be our son laughing or talking to each other.

I worked nights for ten years. I would never, ever dream of banging on the walls! I chose to work unsociable hours, I have to deal with the noise. My husband still works nights and if he banged on the wall to silence next door I would be thinking long and hard about continuing my relationship with such an entitled man!! I can't believe your neighbour!! That's shocking!

Please don't acquiesce this self entitled person. As other posters have rightly said they get more emboldened when no one says NOOO

Ffs they’re being ridiculous... vacuum cleaners are white noise... it helps kids go to sleep!

I wouldn't reply to the text and just carry on. It doesn't even merit a reply.

Just ignore, you didn't hear your phone right! Between 10am and 8pm I would say vacuuming is fine

Anyone who sent me a message starting Hey Hun would be ignored on principle

Send a reply and sign off Love, Atilla

Problem is you dont want to fall out, bad neighbours are hell on earth. Maybe you could try texting back with oh I'm almost finished my housework, i will be half hour at most. Dont pander to them because unfortunately demands will only get worse and you will end up whispering in your own home. Be nice but dont buckle

People with children can be very entitled!

Next time the toddler/ baby cries after 10.30 pm text ‘can you turn him off , we’re in bed trying to sleep and he’s not helping ‘ . 😉

Tell ‘Hun’ that she can come over and hoover your place once the child is awake

My neighbour asked me to move my tumblerdryer because she could hear it 🤔

Lately I've heard her washing machine... Every morning at 7am...

There's some things you can't control. Yes her child might be trying to sleep... But its during the day, and im sure a few minutes is not going to harm. What if you turned it on later and woke the child up? (seems you'd never win)

I used to hoover around my baby’s cot when she was asleep. At night.

Don’t all people do this? She sleeps through anything now! 😂😂😂

I have a baby and noisy neighbours but they are noisy 24/7. During the day I just accept that my baby is likely to get woken up , at night though I lose my shit 😂 do your hoovering

I'd definitely ignore that message. Give them an inch and all that. And he's 2.5 and maybe ready to drop a nap, not a non sleeping tiny.

In this instance I might also suddenly discover a yearning to do my housework to the accompaniment of Black Sabbath. Streamed on multiple devices at quite a high volume. "Paranoid" might help you get the message across.

@DBML I'd have loved you as my neighbours years ago: my son didn't nap until he was 2.5yrs old and only either in the car, or when we switched on the vacuum cleaner. Honestly!

Also, imagine if YOU had a screaming baby when she was trying to get hers to sleep - how would that work? how bloody entitled of her really. She's plain rude, don't be a doormat. Can you delete her number and just ignore her texts from now on?

@Pinkfluff76 right! 👆

Explain to them that your and your DH are full-time and and this is your only time you can. Also mention its a reasonable time to be cleaning because its not late/early which, really, is the time they should be putting him/her to sleep, or ask them if they can put him/her in another room or keep him awake a little longer, till maybe 2-3. Tell her that you have no pets, don't throw any loud/big parties, no TV or anything. Try be 'respectful' so they don't use your words against you in future, because nowadays people are very....... irritated good luck OP!

Honestly I'd really ignore a text like that, and finish hoovering, although I wouldn't choose that time to put up some shelves or something - however it's a good heads- up that in an hour and a half you can get on with that sort of stuff. I wouldn't generally let it rule my life though, or get into engaging on the phone with it otherwise it'll get worse!

They're being absolutely ridiculous!

Thank you everyone!

@Applepea1I appreciate your response and I generally do what I can to live a peaceful existence.

But I have two days off a week and I don’t want to hang about all day doing my house work in dribs and drabs. I want to get up on a Saturday and get it done, have a bath and feel fresh again, ready to go out and enjoy the afternoon.
How long would I have to wait to turn the hoover on? Give them an hour? Two? Ultimately I posted on MN because I felt it was unreasonable and wondered whether I in thinking that, was the one being unreasonable.

Incidentally I can sometimes hear their hoover and it’s a very low hum, so I assume mine is similar. I own a Dyson which is not too loud and I doubt my vacuuming has anything to do with keeping the baby (2.5 years) awake.

Anyway, it’s fine. Nothing else has been said and I politely smiled and waved today when we saw them. They smiled and waved back, so I’m sure they’re ok.

I would say erm but a vacuum is white noise and helps little one’s sleep 😂 plus the fact you both work all week and only have the weekends to clean. It’s not like you’re doing it at some random hour during the night. ( I had a neighbour that did!)

Just ignore.
They've made a rod for their own backs if they've tiptoed around the baby, being silent for naps.
Best advice I ever had from my Mum was to carry on as normal, noise-wise, around babies; TV on or the radio, vacuuming, chatting. It meant that our two would sleep through almost anything.

No, I wouldn’t even consider doing it late or even too early. I start cleaning around 9am with the polishing and gradually build up to the noisier stuff as the day goes on. I don’t want to deliberately make other peoples lives harder. Equally, I do want to get my jobs done and have a weekend.

I’m sure it’s fine now though. Thank you again.