to share with my DS how much his grandparents contributed to present?

[Oneborneverydecade]

Teen DS has a birthday coming up. We've asked 4 sets of grandparents to contribute towards one big present. They've all volunteered different amounts (not a huge variety in it - present is £200). It seems unfair on the most generous present givers for me to allow DS to think everyone chipped in the same. But it seems wrong to talk about money when it comes to a birthday present

No, I think that’s a bit crass and very pointless.

Sorry, I meant yes, YWBU to divulge that information.

Not sure if there's a right or wrong but could you not just tell him they all chipped in? That way he knows they all contributed.

Just say it's a joint present.

If they have any class, the grandparents would hate to be measured up against each other like that.

Do you measure the worth of everything and everybody in monetary terms generally??

Maybe you could say "here's a present from all your grandparents - they all chipped in to buy it, especially grandma Josephine who paid for nearly half of it" if you really wanted to recognise one person's generosity. But tbh I wouldn't.

No, I don't think that's necessary. It doesn't mean anyone loves him less does it, it's to do with personal circumstances. A cheap thoughtful present is much nicer than an inappropriate expensive gift after all.

Kids don't care about how much it cost and who paid. Just leave it

If it is all about the same then don't. If one paid 3/4 of the cost then say GP X paid for most but Y Z and Q contributed too.

Seems a bit unnecessary to me. If they were wildly different amounts then maybe so. If one set of GPs gave £100 and the others £20 then I might recognise that, but if we’re talking about £25 or £40 for eg then it’s not needed.

Don’t tell him the difference. I don’t see what it would achieve. Surely the thought is the same.....they all love him and want him to have a great gift?

If Grandma X is a millionaire and chipped in 5p while Grandma Y saved up £150 from her tiny pension then yes, I would mention it.

Otherwise, no, am sure people gave what they could afford and it isn't how you measure love.

@AnnaMagnani

If Grandma X is a millionaire and chipped in 5p while Grandma Y saved up £150 from her tiny pension then yes, I would mention it.

Otherwise, no, am sure people gave what they could afford and it isn't how you measure love.

That's my theory.

But in reality I'd bite my tongue.

Everyone clubbed together to get him something he really wanted. He doesn't need to know more than that.

The ones who gave less will feel bad and the ones who gave more will (if they're nice) feel embarrassed it was made a thing of.

It's a birthday. For a teenager. Everyone gave what they felt able to.

Enjoy the moment as a family, don't over analyse so much

No. Why would you even do that?

Childish

No, but give the cheap skates a shit present next time!!

A rare unanimous decision on Mumsnet. Thank you. I won't say a word.

No. Why would you?

Why would you even consider doing this! All he needs to know is that his grandparents chipped in, he doesn’t need to know who contributed what,

How do you know their financial situation is? How do you know if they have a certain amount t they spend on each grandchild? How would they feel if they found out? Do you think they would be embarrassed? I would be if I ever thought a family member would do this

That you consider it necessary tells a lot about you, Money grabbing and crass

Dont accept voluntary contributions as opposed to set sums if you want to then get annoyed about disparities

Waits for update that gps who gave a fiver are billionaires and bought his cousin a unicorn last week. GPS who chipped in almost all the money are very poor and will be eating porridge only for the next two months made out of cardboard tubes from loo rolls they had been saving up for 4years in the hope of turning them into a sofa...

Did your side's grandparents happen to be the ones who contributed more OP? If so, how would you feel if the opposite were true?

Definitely not !!

@Oneborneverydecade

A rare unanimous decision on Mumsnet. Thank you. I won't say a word.

I think this is the right decision. If one grandparent hasn’t chipped in because they’re tight and you want him to know, he’ll work it out for himself in years to come. Mean people rarely change their habits.

Don't confuse money with love. Two different things.

No. If you think one set of grandparents are meaner than the other don’t organise a joint present. It’s asking for trouble.