to share with my DS how much his grandparents contributed to present?

[Oneborneverydecade]

Teen DS has a birthday coming up. We've asked 4 sets of grandparents to contribute towards one big present. They've all volunteered different amounts (not a huge variety in it - present is £200). It seems unfair on the most generous present givers for me to allow DS to think everyone chipped in the same. But it seems wrong to talk about money when it comes to a birthday present

@Oneborneverydecade

A rare unanimous decision on Mumsnet. Thank you. I won't say a word.

Good. You have made the right decision.

Ime by the time they are teenagers, they know what they want.

I tell mine what money they are likely to get and they give me a list etc and I buy it.

They are quite clued up as to who gives what...but I wouldn't be over allocating to mean contributors (as opposed to those who give proportionately).

I agree with the rest. Nope he doesn’t need to know.

Er why should you. Did your parents chip on the most so you want them to be super grandparents

That would be rude. If I ever got wind of that as the most generous or least generous I would look very poorly on you.

As a GP I would be appalled if relative contributions were discussed, all your child needs to know is that it's a presenr from everyone.

Surely he’ll thank them all anyway. Why does he need to know how much? Totally unnecessary.

It's bad enough to ask all four grandparents to contribute to his birthday present without presenting him with a tabulated account of where the money came from
What made you think this might be a good idea?!

What an utterly bizarre question. Why would you want to teach him that the person who gave the most money is the most "important" in this gift giving scenario?
Do you want him thinking that his value to his grandparents is based on how much money they spend on him? because if you highlight this, thats the lesson he's going to learn, that love = a monetary amount.

Is it your parent that put the most in?

I don't think I would have set it up in such a way in the first place but too late now. DS is saving for x. If you'd like to give him money towards it that would be nice. Then money would be given to DS so he would know.. But I suppose if the amounts are roughly the same theres no point in saying anything.

I think it's the right decision not to. For DS1's 16th birthday we (DH and I), MIL and my parents all grouped together to get him a new guitar, we never mentioned how it was split. Not sure why some PPs think it's a terrible idea, judging by DS's reaction (several unprompted hugs and a few tears) I don't think we could have got anything individually that would have made him anywhere near as happy!

I think you need to look at your motivation for this about it. It’s almost like you want to show one set up as being better than the others.

No. Don’t tell your child because it won’t benefit them at all.

Also if your willing to boast about money to your child you have to explain to them about bills and so on.... maybe those who contributed less than the one who contributed the most couldn’t afford it.

I think it’s not very nice of you OP.

Why on earth would you do anything so crass, especially as you admit yourself that there's not much difference between them? So this is mostly from granny x who stumped up £60, but let's not give too much credit to granny y who only gave £40? You're teaching him the price of everything and the value of nothing.

Definitely not. Was it the grandparents on your side of the family who chipped in the most by chance?

No, I would never do they. Just say it’s a joint present everyone went in on. The end.

I’m guessing that your parent(s) gave the most and you want to use that information to knock your in-law(s) down a peg or two.

Yes, we need you to answer the question “why”.

What on earth would be achieved by such a thing? Seriously, have you some hidden agenda at work?

@VodselForDinner

I’m guessing that your parent(s) gave the most and you want to use that information to knock your in-law(s) down a peg or two.

Exactly this

He'll know from other years who tends to give the most expensive presents. He'll also know who gives the most thoughtful presents, who makes the nicest phone calls, who sends him a postcard, who makes the best cakes, etc. No need to record it!

Yy middle class 😂😂 op were the tight ones really rich?

Anyway it's impossible to say one lot with huge income and assets give 199 the one that gives the pound could be choosing between heat and food this winter, that pound means more to me.

My DD2 never realised how stingey my in-laws were until two Christmas's ago when, aged 15, she spent ALL her babysitting money on presents and spent £45 on Grandma/pa only to receive a £10 primark voucher.
They are wealthy - turn up each Christmas with one arm longer than the other - DH and I accept it, DD1 has realised for years.

Why would you even think of doing that?