to share with my DS how much his grandparents contributed to present?

[Oneborneverydecade]

Teen DS has a birthday coming up. We've asked 4 sets of grandparents to contribute towards one big present. They've all volunteered different amounts (not a huge variety in it - present is £200). It seems unfair on the most generous present givers for me to allow DS to think everyone chipped in the same. But it seems wrong to talk about money when it comes to a birthday present

Yes ywbvu to do this

It's not the point of a gift how much it cost, plus those that gave less in terms of the figure may have given more as a percentage of their income/savings? And I'm guessing you'd have no way of knowing that.

You also have no way of knowing why they've contributed what they have though perhaps there may be some clues eg one set might have 14 grandchildren to cover for birthdays etc and another only a few

It's crass and unfair and unkind - to both the donors AND your child

One side of my family did bought gifts mostly the other made things or gave of their time - both of these were appreciated and equally lovely to receive

Why did this even occur to you?

Glad you're not going to do it..... that would be a crass and awful thing to do. Measuring things only according to monetary value isn't something that you want to teach your child.

Definitely the right decision. My in-laws spend £50-60 per gc but my parents spend considerably more but it's proportionate to their income/savings and certainly not one being mean or the other crass

@VodselForDinner

I’m guessing that your parent(s) gave the most and you want to use that information to knock your in-law(s) down a peg or two.

I think this is it.

Sorry wrong thread 🤣🤣🤣

My children had two grandmas . One was comfortably off and the other wasn’t. There was a big difference in how much they spent on our children...it didn’t matter and my children never noticed/ commented. It is the thought that counts.

The gift is the present not the money for the present, so there is no need to give a breakdown of who contributed what. Let him enjoy his present without spoiling it by turning it into a transaction.

"This is from all of us, we love you"

Job done.

I wouldn't tell your DS but you could privately make sure you show your own appreciation to the GP who made a bigger contribution if it was significant so that they know they are appreciated.

I wouldn't tell him how much each gp contributed. But I would tell him that they have contributed so that he can say thank you to them

@cabingirl

I wouldn't tell your DS but you could privately make sure you show your own appreciation to the GP who made a bigger contribution if it was significant so that they know they are appreciated.

Hopefully she'll show appreciation to everyone who stuck their hand in their pocket to finance her child's birthday gift?! What a Godawful suggestion.

Why would you even think to do this when you said at the beginning there wasn’t huge differences in the amounts?

I’m glad you’re not going to but why would it even be a question?

Hopefully she'll show appreciation to everyone who stuck their hand in their pocket to finance her child's birthday gift?! hmm
What a Godawful suggestion

I totally agree. Why extra appreciation for the set of GPs who gave most? It sounds like everyone gave an amount that felt right for them, and that's where it should end. Anything else is utterly crass.

My DM doesn't have much spare money, she's disabled, and lives in a wee rented cottage on her pension. She gives £20 each to my DC's on their birthdays - it's what she can spare, and my kids (teens) still love that feeling of a twenty pound note falling out of their birthday card.

My in-laws, on the other hand, are super wealthy. They transfer £50 by bank transfer to each of the DC's on their birthdays. A greater amount than my DM, yes, but in relation to income it's less.
My kids know they get less money from Nana than they do from Granny and Grandpa, and they will have noticed for themselves that both sides have very different living circumstances. But, I'd be pretty fucked off if they equated the amounts given to the degree of generosity.

Pretty weird to even contemplate this, do you value more expensive presents higher? If they got him separate presents would you encourage him to thank them differently according to price?! Obviously not so don't say a thing.