My friends have fallen out with me but is it my fault?

[Findmeatthegym2020]

I was in a relationship with my good friend of 10 years brother a few years ago. She was always supportive of the relationship and it was her who actually set us up. We split up and he ended up starting a new relationship with a mutual friend of mine and his sister. Me and his new girlfriend fell out as I wasn’t comfortable being friends with her and we left it at that. They split up a year ago and we made up, however we both knew this was more of a civil friendship rather than true friends due to the issues in the past. Anyway, for the past few months I have been having a fling with ‘our’ ex but I recently found out that she has also slept with him recently also. My original friend and his other ex found out about our fling and have fallen out with me. I haven’t spoken to them for months because they said I was sly for going behind their backs to sleep with him even though the other friend has done the same thing. Am I really in the wrong here or is she wrong too? And how can I make up with my friend of 10 years (his sister) as she was one of my best friends and I’m very surprised about how upset she was over this?

The person in the wrong here is that fuckwit you both keep sleeping with. Though I'm pretty surprised at both if you for getting together with a man who was with your friend at some point. You're all a bit messed up.

Oh dear, where is Jeremy Kyle when you need him?

You do all seem of the same "ilk" shall we say?

I’d move on, OP. It all sounds messy and the situation isn’t making anyone happy...except perhaps for your ex who’s getting plenty of attention.

You weren't comfortable remaining friends with the mutual friend once she stayed dating your ex? Why? That already send strange unless there's some huge backstory. But the rest all just sounds very angsty to be honest. Friends all falling out with one another because of some bloke...

*started, not stayed

You're entitled to sleep with who you want but I can see how it puts your friend in an uncomfortable position if two of her friends are having an on/off thing with her brother. It's quite a messy situation considering your other friend was also in a relationship with him. She probably feels irritated that her friendships have essentially been derailed by her brother shagging her mates, although he's to blame too. Assuming this man isn't the love of your life (you said it was a fling), I'd avoid sleeping with him again and move onto someone less complicated.

Blimey, why do you keep going after him?

Bloody hell love, why are you all falling over yourselves for this mans dick?

@FunTimes2020

You do all seem of the same "ilk" shall we say?

Like attracts like applies here I think.

Gosh. He must be super hot stuff!! 😂

I’m hung up on the bot being able to be friends with someone dating your ex, but still being willing to sleep with him. If he were an awful person who abused you, I could see being angry at a friend for dating him. However, you clearly don’t fear him, so why in earth wouldn’t you want your friend to date him.

Or in simpler terms, you need to grow up.

She's not much of friend if she's going to take the side of your other friend when she's doing the same thing as you were, the only way I could see her point was if you were all aware that the other friend was sleeping with him again and then after that you decided to sleep with him again without telling anyone? Even still I'd move on from all of them (especially the sleazy brother)

Can you clarify the time line

How long did you go out with him initially for?

How long did she date him? I’m assuming this was a much more in depth relationship because you were with him “ a few years ago” and they only split up a year ago.

How soon after they ended did you get back in there and shag him? I’m assuming it was very quick. As you say you’ve been shagging him a few months.

Why did you actually fall out with her at the time, I’m assuming because she was seeing your ex and you felt it was breaking girl code? Is the issue you’ve just done the same to her? And you didn’t tell them? You lied?

I think on paper you haven’t really don’t anything wrong, BUT I can see why they might be pissed off with you. His other ex might think that there is a chance they could be getting back together, and then you throw a spanner in the works. It’s easier than blaming him! (And he’s the one who’s really in the wrong here!)

So you fell out with your friend for dating your ex, but we're ok to have a fling with someone who is now her ex. Makes you a hypocrite so I'm not surprised your friends aren't impressed

This is exactly why it's never a good idea to sleep with your friend's brothers.

I'd stop seeing him and give your friend time to forgive and forget. Maybe she will.

I'm going to hope you're all 19 and move away from this slowly.
Make new friends, get uninvolved

Suspect the issue here is the op hid the fact she was sleeping with him but also got back with him very quickly after they split. She says “they found out “

I imagine it’s the lying, the speed of it, and the double standards.

Op can you just not get over this guy?

I would cut ties with all of them, this is nasty and messy and beyond the guy behind this having a great time at your expense, I can't see what it is doing for any of you.

Move and swiftly.

If you fell out with the mutual friend after she starting sleeping with this guy (although you had split up) it would seem a bit hypocritical to expect her to be fine with you now sleeping with him after she broke up with him. Maybe the sister is picking up on this. It all sounds very dramatic, I think I would have avoided him after the initial breakup.

I don’t understand why you fell out with the woman, who dated your ex after you. It makes no sense and in this context, it doesn’t really surprise me your very good friend has reacted like; you’ve both reacted irrationally. Odds on she took sides with your other friend due to being barely civil to her for going out with him. I hope you’ve learned something here.

I suspect there is another way to phrase this

This couple split up. They had been together for some considerable time.

The op and his sister are best friends. She was friends with the other woman too. This couple then got back together recently where the brother told her he’d been sleeping with the op for a few months when they were split.

The woman was shocked and told the sister, curious as to why she didn’t know, and the best friend is pissed off that for months she’s been lying about it, saying she wasn’t with anyone, when actually she was shagging her brother all along.

I can see why that would result in being called sly. And a falling out. And I think the other woman is clearly quite open about her relationship and doesn’t lie about it or hide it etc.

I wasn’t happy to remain friends with her because she was my friend and constantly flaunted their relationship in front of me straight after we split up whilst I was still very upset

He's an enormous trouble maker who seems to be one of the type to enjoy stirring up the hen house.

I'd walk away from them all, what a load of dramatics.