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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My friends have fallen out with me but is it my fault?

146 replies

Findmeatthegym2020 · 23/09/2020 13:52

I was in a relationship with my good friend of 10 years brother a few years ago. She was always supportive of the relationship and it was her who actually set us up. We split up and he ended up starting a new relationship with a mutual friend of mine and his sister. Me and his new girlfriend fell out as I wasn’t comfortable being friends with her and we left it at that. They split up a year ago and we made up, however we both knew this was more of a civil friendship rather than true friends due to the issues in the past. Anyway, for the past few months I have been having a fling with ‘our’ ex but I recently found out that she has also slept with him recently also. My original friend and his other ex found out about our fling and have fallen out with me. I haven’t spoken to them for months because they said I was sly for going behind their backs to sleep with him even though the other friend has done the same thing. Am I really in the wrong here or is she wrong too? And how can I make up with my friend of 10 years (his sister) as she was one of my best friends and I’m very surprised about how upset she was over this?

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 23/09/2020 20:37

So, her getting back with him would have ended your friendship, but you getting with him wouldn't?

Well no, because as she says, she wasn’t intending anyone to find out and was intending to keep lying about it. I guess until he committed. Sadly he didn’t and went and fucked the other one too and I assume told her.

And yeah, unprotected and now they all have stis.

Classy stuff.

newnameforthis123 · 23/09/2020 20:39

You do realise he'll have told her you were "begging for it" and desperate too don't you? Seriously? You must realise he'll have said to each of you whatever convinced you you are special and 'better' and doesn't give a shit about either of you?

He's a prick, you're both foolish for shagging someone who is so clearly an arsehole.

You're both foolish for believing what he's told you each about the other one.

You all need to grow up to be honest.

Findmeatthegym2020 · 23/09/2020 20:50

I’m 25 if that helps everyone! I appreciate that I lied but so did she, that’s my only issue because they way I see it, if we’ve both done the same thing, we’re both as bad as each other at the end of the day

OP posts:
newnameforthis123 · 23/09/2020 20:57

You do realise he'll have told her you were "begging for it" and desperate too don't you? Seriously? You must realise he'll have said to each of you whatever convinced you you are special and 'better' and doesn't give a shit about either of you?

Do you get that he's told you both the other was gagging for it?

You're old enough to know better now to be honest.

Bluntness100 · 23/09/2020 21:42

@Findmeatthegym2020

I’m 25 if that helps everyone! I appreciate that I lied but so did she, that’s my only issue because they way I see it, if we’ve both done the same thing, we’re both as bad as each other at the end of the day
She didn’t lie as much as you and to his sister though op. She told her and she wasn’t shagging him for months and lying about it all that time.

Look trying to argue she’s as bad as you isn’t going to fix this.

And I’m shocked you’re 25 and behaving like this. Are you not remotely embarrassed?

Findmeatthegym2020 · 23/09/2020 22:20

I don’t think I need any more opinions on this now, there’s lots of back story and a child involved that I didn’t mention

OP posts:
newnameforthis123 · 23/09/2020 22:33

@Findmeatthegym2020

I don’t think I need any more opinions on this now, there’s lots of back story and a child involved that I didn’t mention
Well that would be a huge dripfeed wouldn't it...
Travis1 · 23/09/2020 22:41

Icky that’s what this is, icky

Nikori · 23/09/2020 23:15

I don't get the issue on this thread. The OP is single, she was shagging her Ex who she also thought was single. He's the arsehole for sleeping with 2 people at the same time. I can't believe all the pearl-clutching because someone is having sex. It's not the 1800s.

BadLad · 23/09/2020 23:27

The OP and her friends are crew members on Red Dwarf, and this bloke has come across the sexual magnetism virus.

Ablackrussian · 23/09/2020 23:36

He must have hidden talents because no way would anyone put up this level of shit, otherwise.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 24/09/2020 00:07

A child involved that I didn’t mention

That makes four at last count.

KatherineJaneway · 24/09/2020 07:28

@Findmeatthegym2020

I don’t think I need any more opinions on this now, there’s lots of back story and a child involved that I didn’t mention
It gets worse
Patbutcherismyhero · 24/09/2020 07:38

Ditch the friends and the ex. They all sound like drama hungry morons. The fact that your 'friend' is now going after another one of your exes is really something.
The bloke must be laughing his nuts off getting all this attention from his sisters friends. I expect he has others on the go too.
For your own dignity, walk away from this soap opera.

Weave · 24/09/2020 09:51

@Findmeatthegym2020

I don’t think I need any more opinions on this now, there’s lots of back story and a child involved that I didn’t mention
Is this your first time on mumsnet then? Grin
KarmaStar · 24/09/2020 11:14

End of completely with him.no fwb,nothing.
Perhaps his ex told your mutual friend,lucky sister of rambo,that she was seeing him with a view to rekindling their relationship,only to find you were seeing him on the qt?
But,whilst he's having his cake and eating it,you are all falling out.
You and his other ex are never going to be true friends so leave that in the past.
Explain your reasoning,if you like,to his sister and ask if she thinks you can resurrect the friendship,if you don't get a positive yes,but her out and move on with your life.
Maybe a lesson learnt here op.

KarmaStar · 24/09/2020 11:15

It not of.

Bluntness100 · 24/09/2020 11:18

@Nikori

I don't get the issue on this thread. The OP is single, she was shagging her Ex who she also thought was single. He's the arsehole for sleeping with 2 people at the same time. I can't believe all the pearl-clutching because someone is having sex. It's not the 1800s.
I think it’s clear you’ve misunderstood yes, no one cares rhey are having sex. The issue being discussed is her friend. The sister, fell out with her for lying about it. Repeatedly and for a few months.

Op whose child is it?

Plesky · 24/09/2020 11:25

@StillCoughingandLaughing

A child involved that I didn’t mention

That makes four at last count.

Grin
Nikori · 24/09/2020 12:41

I think it’s clear you’ve misunderstood yes, no one cares rhey are having sex. The issue being discussed is her friend. The sister, fell out with her for lying about it. Repeatedly and for a few months.

I've re-read the OP's posts and I can't find this mentioned.

Bluntness100 · 24/09/2020 12:48

It’s right there in the op she says they called her sly and she went behind their backs and then later she admits she lied.

I don’t want to be rude, but if you struggle maybe ther is someone else who can help you.

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