Newborn mask wearing

[firstpregnancy1]

I'm currently pregnant and due next week with my first baby!

I have quite a big family who live in various places in the Uk, mostly the south, none in the stricter lockdown areas.

I've been umming and ahhing for a long while about how it's going to look after baby is born and how /when/logistics of family visiting and I've very much been 'let's wait and see'. But that time is ever approaching!

My query isn't whether or not to let family meet the newborn, but rather should I request people wear masks when they're holding him/close by? All of my family and friends who visit are mask wearers in shops etc so no one with any medical exemptions or any other exemptions and I'm sure all would oblige. (Some may oblige whilst I raising their eyebrows or jokily call me precious but would oblige nonetheless as they would respect our choices).

In terms of risk, my partner works in central London and will only be having 2 weeks off work paternity leave before going back to the daily grind of commuting on the train and the tube and then working in a role which is mostly office based but regularly coming into close contact with members of the public in situations which don't allow for social distancing/mask wearing, depending on the circumstances.

So the liklihood is that he will be coming and going from work, in central London, and he won't be wearing a mask around the baby so does that make us a bit hypocritical to then ask others to, as chances are he will be back at work before a lot of our family will have had chance to visit.

For clarity, we wouldn't be breaking the rule of 6, people would be visiting either on their own or with their partner, and nor would it be different visitors every day of the week, were probably talking both sets of grandparents and both sides sibling within the first few weeks and then wider family in dribs and drabs in the following few weeks.

If you're personally choosing not to have visitors for your newborns at all, that's your choice but please dont hound me for our decisions to allow visitors, the query here is about asking relatives to wear masks or not.

Thanks

You are definitely in your right to ask people to wear a mask. I wouldn't hesitate in putting one on around an infant.
I also get that you would want the parents and your siblings to hold the baby. That is entirely your choice. I would be the same. But as a new mum, just for a little bit of advice because it is an emotional and tiresome time, if you suddenly feel more protective and uncertain of people holding her/him, listen to your instincts and don't let people pressure you.
I'm speaking from experience. Good luck OP x

In 1988 when m first dd was born it was normal for visitors to the maternity ward to have to wash their hands and wear a disposable apron before touching the newborn. I think in this pandemic it is perfectly reasonable for visitors to do the same plus wear a mask. I could quite understand it if you decided to not have any visitors either.

If we listen to them, we can't hold our grandchildren without a mask

Why do you need to hold your grandchildren? Why don’t you even want to try to protect them from disease? New mothers can still be supported without having to touch them or the baby.

Well this makes a difference to the "Should I let smoker relative within 1000 feet of my newborn?" threads :)

On the plus side, actually, a mask is a brilliantly tactful solution to that newborn parent smoker fear :o

I think it is absolutely fine and whether I agree with it or not I would certainly comply. Washing hands is a reasonable precaution, too.

You really can't understand why a grandparent would want to hold their grandchildren? :(

@BertieBotts

You really can't understand why a grandparent would want to hold their grandchildren? :(

In the middle of a pandemic of a disease with no cure? Of course I don’t understand why any grandparent would be so stupid and selfish.

If we listen to them, we can't hold our grandchildren without a mask and load of agonising, but we can go to the pub. Fuck that for a game of soldiers

I don't get this argument.
Yes, it's shit that grandparents and close family can't hold/hug/kiss etc.
How is that comparable to being in the pub though?
I mean, even at the height of my being pissed, I don't go round hugging and kissing random strangers on nearby tables (at least I hope I don't lol)
If it's viral load that stands how severe we get it if caught, surely social distancing makes sense.

They are only that tiny once.

The UK has really pumped up the fear though, hasn't it? Odd. Other countries seem to have some sense of perspective.

I wouldn't be exposing any newborn, unless direct family, babies siblings, maybe gp if they are responsible.
Babies immune systems kick in after 3 months.

Daisy I agree. If I was gp I wouldn't forgive myself passing on covid or a cold or anything that could affect baby.

I'm so shocked that so many of you would allow visitors at this time, masks or no masks there is still a serious virus doing the rounds.

Sounds like there are going to be lots of people/family members coming & going from the house.

Your baby your choice.

But it wouldn't be for me.

@Florencex

I might need to brush up on the rules, but I thought the rule of six had been replaced and the latest was that you shouldn’t be socialising with anyone outside your own home now.

Not in England. That's Scotland's rule.

You should still be social distancing though

I was thinking this until I read your opening post!

This thread has made me sad. Yes, we should be socially distancing but that doesn't make it any easier. My sibling is due a baby soon and they are torn on whether to let close family have a hold (first baby) it would only be grandparents and siblings if they do. I am so sad that I may not get a hold, but not sad with them, sad with the way everything has been handled and how we are still in this mess. I don't understand why people can't see how heartbreaking it is not to be able to hold a grandchild or niece / nephew. I have told my sibling that I respect whatever decision they make. I would rather my parents get a cuddle over me anyway. Plus why can't people see that it isn't always just for a cuddle but for support. Why do people think that because we are in a pandemic that mother's (and father's) are miraculously able to deal with any problems. What about PND, feeding issues, sleep deprivation. They need support. I don't blame anyone for letting family hold their newborn.
Are you telling me that Boris Johnson's baby has only be help by him and his partner? I doubt it.

Also, to add. Grandparents aren't allowed a cuddle but you could pay a nanny. Does that suddenly mean the nanny is not a risk at all because money is being passed around? No, if doesn't.

I would recommend anyone who has worries about babies or young children and covid 19 to rea this pretty comprehensive study from the british media journal. It helped me a lot to understand the genuine risks. I feel it's good to see facts rather than fear when it comes to making a decision about whether Granny can hold the newborn

www.bmj.com/content/370/bmj.m3249

Yes, in short. The world continues to turn despite the pandemic. New mothers still need support. New babies still need to be part of a bigger society than their parent/s.

I will very likely be letting immediate family visit & hold our baby when it's born (even though we're not allowed anyone in the house) but let's be clear, the holding of a newborn is for no one except the person holding them. It does nothing to support a new mother.
Far more supportive things would include bringing a meal, offering to clean the kitchen or do the food shop.

It’s not just the baby though is it, if they are cuddling the baby there probably isn’t going to be much social distancing between the adults either. All because you are wearing a face covering doesn’t mean you can get up close to people with no risk, it just mitigates the risk

Wouldn’t be much fun catching COVID as a new mum

I would have them wash hands on entry and wear a mask. Very reasonable. Personally I would wait until first jabs until wider family and friends can visit and just have immediate family initially but that's me. I also wouldn't have holding unless immediate family and I know they haven't been flouting the rules. I am told by someone in paeds that under 1s are more at risk than over 1s.

@melissalou

I'm so shocked that so many of you would allow visitors at this time, masks or no masks there is still a serious virus doing the rounds.

Sounds like there are going to be lots of people/family members coming & going from the house.

Your baby your choice.

But it wouldn't be for me.

I agree. FWIW pre covid I didnt allow any kisses or touching of faces and didn't have wider family or friends visit until after first jabs. I didn't attend baby group until after first jabs either. I have friends working in paeds who viewed this as sensible.

When covid hit I didn't have any contact when we were in lockdown of course. We were level 4 and now are again.

I would allow visits of close family only with masks personally and only extend that once first jabs, also with masks. I'd limit holding to close family to be honest. I definitely would not breach rule of 6 which is the law

YANBU. Anyone even vaguely reasonable shouldn't need it suggesting to them. DS was born during the swine flu epidemic and all family who visited in the first couple of weeks wore a mask. I didn't ask them to although MIL might have done!

I love your boundary setting OP!

I have a newborn. We allowed visitors to hold and feed newborn ( following the rules at the time). We cleaned baby and where visitors sat between visitors and asked visitors to clean hands on arrival/before holding baby . We did not ask for masks to be born ( though if asked by another parent I would happily do so 🙂). We socially distanced whilst with visitors as did older DC. We aimed to stick to the rules at the time (since changed) glad GPs could meet the baby then.

I hate wearing a mask, it really messes with my anxiety. However I would happily wear one if it meant meeting a newborn and potential newborn snuggles. Competent reasonable request.