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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to loathe the woman who told me off today in Tesco?

188 replies

oreGOREnianabroad · 09/10/2007 14:49

Ds1 (2.6) was in the front of the trolley, ds2 (6mo) was asleep in his car seat, correctly strapped into the top bit of the trolley. This woman approached me and said I would probably be told off for having ds1 in the front of the trolley. OK, I know it is not the safest place for him, but it is hardly the most dangerous. And he has happily shopped in this position for at least a year. And anyway, as long as my children are not in IMMINENT DANGER, why should she feel inclined to dispense unwanted and unsolicited advice, especially in such a passive aggressive manner ('Someone' is going to tell me off, or you are?)??? It is hard enough schlepping through the shops without people passing judgement.

OP posts:
ThisIsSabrinaPleaseDoNotScare · 10/10/2007 09:40

LOVE that link!

"Tired of the germs found on shopping carts?"

My god, what is the world coming to? You cant see them FFS they are germs and they are good for you (when will people learn?)

Anna8888 · 10/10/2007 09:55

I love this thread .

I have yet to find a supermarket in the whole of Paris where there are trolleys that have child seats. Nothing. You aren't supposed to take you baby shopping.

Judy1234 · 10/10/2007 11:01

Tell her she's wrong. It's up to you to look after your children. People are far too cautious. More children are damaged through being caged up and not allowed to take physical risks. They never learn safety if they're cooped up.

SquirBOOdle · 10/10/2007 11:14

DS2 (aged 4) often sits in the back of the trolley. He doesn't stand up. I wouldn't let DS3 (2) sit in the back yet as he is way too dangerous, but DS2 is pretty good and understands the risks of falling out if he stands up. I don't see the problem really.

I haven't been told off by anyone for doing this but I also accept it is my responsibility if DS should fall out.

I would be pretty annoyed if someone where to say anything to me. I'm not stupid and don't take unneccessary risks with my children. If I thought my child was in any danger I wouldn't do it!

sixlostmonkeys · 10/10/2007 11:14

"They never learn safety if they're cooped up."

shouldn't that be - they never learn safety if they are never taught it?

Why should putting your child at risk of crashing on his/her head be a better idea than explaining the danger of riding in trolley meant for the sole purpose of carrying groceries?

SquirBOOdle · 10/10/2007 11:17

Ha, ha, I LOVE the shopping cart guard

Poor children!!!

fedupwasherwoman · 10/10/2007 11:32

I let ds1 ride in the front of the trolley and would give short shrift to anyone who told me it is a) dangerous or b) unhygenic or c) we should shop on-line

a) I'm a parent its my job to take care of ds1 and I insist he sits down, we buy a box of nappies or pack of toilet roll for him to sit on and I stop the trolley if he stands up. I say at least half a dozen times "sit down ds1" and we wait for him to sit before we move on. Ds2 also has to be told to sit down and he's in the proper seat but still likes to escape from the lap strap and try to stand up. I've seen kids get injured just walking round the store so I think constant parental supervision is the key to any danger issues.

b) Get a life, we can put potted plants in the trolley with mud and worms/insects on the bottom of a pot. Trolleys are hosed down periodically and food is wrapped/washed before use. If its not I put it in the front section of the trolley where no-one puts their children. I think I'd know about it if ds1 had a clump of doggy do-do stuck to the sole of his shoe but I do actually check his shoes as I lift him into the trolley. We all need to be exposed to germs to build up immunity and if you are worried about it get a "cart cover" or use those big checked plastic laundry bags as trolley liners to put your goods in as you go round.

c) I do shop on-line some of the time but there are valuable learning experiences to be had from a simple supermarket trip, counting, weighing, measuring, not being allowed to have absolutely anything that takes your fancy.

If there was a supermarket policy forbidding putting kids in the front of the trolley it would be made clear in signs at the trolley points. The supermarkets want our money and I don't think they'd risk pissing off a family spending in their store to satisfy a memeber of the public interfering because of a perceived risk. I'm not denying that an unsupervised child in the front of the trolley is a potential danger but there's just as much danger lurking in not supervising them once you get out in the car park, with cars coming round corners and reversing etc. The danger is lack of supervision not where they are actually placed in the trolley.

I'll still be doing this as long as ds1 is happy to ride in the front of the trolley, so arrest me now.

Ubergeekian · 10/10/2007 11:34

Why travel in the front of the trolley? Because it's fun, and with just a little care on the adult's part the risks are minimal.

Why get cross when some meddlesome old ratbag interferes? Because in our relationship with our children we are used to being trusted by them, and public criticism attacks that trust.

Keep on sticking the sprog in the front, play races in the aisles and to hell with the busybodies!

flatmouse · 10/10/2007 11:35

I have a problem with putting my kids in a trolley for three reasons:

  1. I now shop online (but we still have the experience from weekly greengrocer and butcher shopping)

  2. If kids in trolley - where does shopping go??

  3. Kids have legs - if too big for proper trolley seat can walk! And in walking they can help - organised help ie specifying what they need to collect in each row ensures no running off and enjoyment all round.

But, what other people do is up to them - can't say i give a

outed · 10/10/2007 11:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sixlostmonkeys · 10/10/2007 11:49

I just don't 'get' all this justification for putting kids in a place where they shouldn't be (that's shouldn't be for a number of reasons)
Common sense tells you it's wrong and supermarkets themselves tell you it's wrong - signs etc and in my supermarket announcements reminding parents to not allow their children to ride in trolleys.

It seems to be ok to subject the children to risk and subject people to 'germs' - how about we subject the kids to a little gentle exercise (walking! gasp)

the kids are sitting in the car on the way to the shop, sitting in the trolley in the shop, where else are they sitting to make life more convenient?

elescarybells · 10/10/2007 11:56

outed the static shock thing happens in our tesco's too

dd3 screams blue murder when i put her in the trolley there, but not in other supermarkets. i think she feels the shock too. i thought it was just us.

ADragonIs4LifeNotJustHalloween · 10/10/2007 11:59

Both B&Q and Wickes had "no kids in the front of trolley" signs today.

outed · 10/10/2007 12:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

goingfriggincrazy · 10/10/2007 12:05

Hygiene issues with a shopping trolley>? *shakes head in disbelief.

If you worry about kids shoes in the bottom of trollys-you seriously need to get a life..
if you are going to have a OCD over the cleanliness of them-prehaps you should think about the trolley handles and not sodding frozen food packets *throws you a packet of antibacterial wipes for your next shopping trip.

Insane!

SquirBOOdle · 10/10/2007 12:05

As long as the child isn't standing up/leaning out/jumping around, then does it really matter?

Like I said, my DS sits quietly in the trolley and I trust him not behave in a silly way. If he did, then he wouldn't be in there!

Mind you, it won't be an issue now because he has started school and I'm not about to drag 2 tired boys around a supermarket after school!

lljkk · 10/10/2007 12:06

DS is 3yo and prefers to walk-run around the shop rather than go in a trolley (has mostly refused the trolley since about 20 months old). I try to shop w/out DS, but not always possible. Him out loose is almost tolerable if it's not too busy, he doesn't start running, he doesn't fall over, & he doesn't break something en route.

He hates sitting in the trolley seat -- he's over the 15 kg weight limit now, anyway. Thankfully he will sometimes stand in the trolley and it's a blissful relief for me. I will continue letting him stand in there for a long while yet...

SquirBOOdle · 10/10/2007 12:08

There are a lot of other risks in a supermarket...in fact anywhere.

An elderly lady fell in Sainburys yesterday next to me because the floor was wet. She understandably was very shaken and upset by it and also very cross!

2shoescreepingthroughblood · 10/10/2007 12:11

please don't shoot me.
remeber ds is 15 so this age is a distant rose tinted foggy memory
but.
why can't you just say "no you can't sit/stand in there"
genuine question.

SeaShells · 10/10/2007 12:15

completely off topic but - Oh before I moved, we used to shop regularly at Tescos and the static shocks were just torture! Really horrible, used to spend my shopping trips jumping and yelping the whole way round, people used to look at me like I was mad, but obviously it's not just me!

ADragonIs4LifeNotJustHalloween · 10/10/2007 12:15

It's clearly the safety aspect that bans children from the body of the trolley given that DIY stores have the ban and sell no food.

ruddynorah · 10/10/2007 12:19

don't get this. SHOP ONLINE!!!

sixlostmonkeys · 10/10/2007 12:20

"why can't you just say "no you can't sit/stand in there"
genuine question."

and a good question too

My DS never asked to go in a trolley. I guess it never occurred to him that it was an option. If you don't start something you don't have to battle with it for years to come.

Tortington · 10/10/2007 12:22

i think the front of the trolley is trez exciting for a kid and short o said kid being hit on head by a tin of chopped tomatos that YOU threw in whats the danger?

trolley pile up in aisle 3?

jesus some people need tog et over themselves

next thing sheet tents in back yard wont be allowed for fear of bad construction.....duh

lljkk · 10/10/2007 12:23

You know, 2shoes, when eldest DC were little I was so very firm about saying "No" and meaning it, not faffing about giving into silly little quirks and inconvenient or potentially unsafe demands. AND... it never got better. Toddler would scream all the way to school and back about some toy I had refused to hunt for, or all the way around the shop, etc.... This was never better the next time or the next 7 times after that, they always cried just as much each time even though I had been so resolute in the "No" the previous time. So I'll raise my hand and hang my head in shame, I couldn't take it after a few years, I've gone soft, the blighters have worn me down and I choose my battles much more carefully now.

Hence, standing in trolley is tolerable. Licking it or chucking stuff out would not be.