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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to loathe the woman who told me off today in Tesco?

188 replies

oreGOREnianabroad · 09/10/2007 14:49

Ds1 (2.6) was in the front of the trolley, ds2 (6mo) was asleep in his car seat, correctly strapped into the top bit of the trolley. This woman approached me and said I would probably be told off for having ds1 in the front of the trolley. OK, I know it is not the safest place for him, but it is hardly the most dangerous. And he has happily shopped in this position for at least a year. And anyway, as long as my children are not in IMMINENT DANGER, why should she feel inclined to dispense unwanted and unsolicited advice, especially in such a passive aggressive manner ('Someone' is going to tell me off, or you are?)??? It is hard enough schlepping through the shops without people passing judgement.

OP posts:
NAB3 · 09/10/2007 16:01

I do hate seeing children in the main part of trolleys. Mucky shoes where people are going to put their food but I wouldn't dream of telling anyone not to do it.

LittleBella · 09/10/2007 16:01

God of course you're not.

Other shoppers are there for you to loathe them. Particularly the ones who tell you off. That's their function.

The only ones I like, are the ones whose trolleys are full of junk food and whose children are effing and blinding. That way, I can feel superior to them. So I smile benignly at them. I like those ones.

It's all in the tone of voice, isn't it?

marge2 · 09/10/2007 16:04

I let my DS1 ride in the main body of the trolley. AS for his safety - I think it's far safer to risk him falling out (which he never has) than to risk him running away and out of the shop ( which he does when not in the trolley).

As for the hygiene thing - There is forever bird shit etc all over the trolleys at my local supermarket! Is that hygienic??

Stupid cow should mind her own business!

Original poster
oreGOREnianabroad · 09/10/2007 16:06

I'm starting to feel better now!

OP posts:
Sheherazadethegoat · 09/10/2007 16:08

my dd likes to hang off the side of the trolley and i do get disparaging looks. i am sick of trying to persuade her to not do it. and yes she has fallen over, we went to lidl and got one of those freaky small trolleys, i turned my back and there was dd roaring beneath an upturned trolley. the old ladies were outraged.

lesson - do not shop in pseudo eurotrash supermarkets or if you do get teh big trolley.

supperwoman · 09/10/2007 16:10

She's a bitch with obviously not a lot to do - I hope you told her to piss off and mind her own business

lucyellensmum · 09/10/2007 16:11

i must be a bit thick, cos i dont get it, why why why is it dangerous for my DD to be in the front of the trolley? As for moaning about dirty feet, what about meat juices from the chickens etc, they leak all the fecking time, which i think is a little less hygeinic that dirty feet.

to whoever made the list of MN gripes - you forgot to add the bigest parenting falldown of them all : Fruitshoots!!!! I even felt i had to look over my shoulder the otherday when i gave dd the pure fruit one!

lucyellensmum · 09/10/2007 16:13

of course the shops have signs on the trolley, so scared they are of litigation, should someones PFB ladder their boden tights!

littlelapin · 09/10/2007 16:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Caroline1852 · 09/10/2007 16:33

Someone mentioned reins. Yuk. And quite apart from the yuk issue, has anyone ever tried to push a trolley with a newborn in the carseat carrier cradle (with a broken strap), guide a 21 month old on reins and do the shopping, any of the shopping? If yes, you should consider joining the circus.

Skyler · 09/10/2007 16:36

Oh I am a big fan of reins. The child still has to agree to walk though

jhyesmum · 09/10/2007 16:38

There's always one that has to chirp up.

When DS was about 4 I was travelling to the supermarket, which is about 1/2 a mile down the road. Half way there, DS decides that he is going to undo his seat belt and turn around and look out of the back window. Now, i was going down a small road at the time with nowhere to stop to strap him in. I was telling him to get back in his seat but of course he took no notice.

Anyway, I had this woman in the car behind, follow me to my parking space and proceeded to tell me what an irrisponible (spelt wrong) mother I am etc etc.

I proceeded to tell her that if there was somewhere for me to pull over I would ave done. Unless she wanted me to stop in the middle of the road and hold up the traffic and possibly cause an accident I will do that next time.

She was quite an odd looking bird granted, but what the bloody hell could I do?? I was between a rock and a hard place.

GingermonkeySucksBlood · 09/10/2007 16:52

I used to love trolley racing when I was a student - next time just tell her your DC's are practising for it, and you intend to win in your local trolley racing contest, then scoot along realy quickly, jump in yourself and give her the Vs (I loathe jobsworths too - but I admit to trying to bait them in places like the supermarket to make the time pass a bit quicker!)

DumbledoresGirl · 09/10/2007 16:56

You can't wash baguettes before eating them.

Just wanted to point that out.

But, although I would never let my children ride in the trolley, I have to admit, I would be annoyed if someone not in authority took it upon themselves to tell me off.

2shoescreepingthroughblood · 09/10/2007 17:08

By SeaShells on Tue 09-Oct-07 15:04:15
YABU. You aren't supposed to put kids in trolleys, if you're going to do it, there's always going to be some goody *twoshoes. who will point it out. Just forget about it, not even worth pondering over, never mind worth loathing a complete stranger over IMO.

pmsl how did you know I once did a thread on not likeing this ..................
sorry couldn't resist

ChantillyLace · 09/10/2007 17:28

Kids should never travel in trolleys! It is (as someone has said) plastered on every trolley handle I've ever seen and the store should be doing their job by telling you to take the child out. I have shopped with 3 kids in tow and you have to manage or shop at a time when you don't need to takeall of them or get someone to help.

The safety issue is that the trolley is unbalanced with a child in it, especially if they're moving around and then to add food to it too, it's a disaster waiting to happen and if the trolley goes over, so does the little one strapped into the seat!

Sorry to sound like I'm ranting but I've seen a couple of accidents, one with a trolley tipping over, taking mum with it too and one where a child got his fingers caught in the wire of the trolley cos that was all he had to hold on to!

ChantillyLace · 09/10/2007 17:29

But personally I wouldn't presume to tell another mother what was right or wrong not to her face anyway!

lucyellensmum · 09/10/2007 17:34

you are right dumbledoresgirl, you cannot wash baguettes. But aren't you worried that they might be leant up against the side of the trolley just about where the old man who was pushing it before coughed and spluttered up half his lungs? Just a thought! Its enough to make you want to go self sufficient!

Caroline1852 · 09/10/2007 17:37

I have just come back from Waitrose - no such notice on the trollies at my branch (they are all pretty battered and must be due a new batch - I am hopeful there will be one that will take a newborn and a toddler). There are lots of things that are inadvisable but not illegal - putting your child in the body of the trolley is simply inadvisable and if the risks are pointed out then the mother places her child in the trolley at her own risk. Legally my Waitrose would be on sticky ground as their attempt at an exclusion clause is missing from the trollies themselves and they do not provide a trolley suitable for conveying two children safely.

Caroline1852 · 09/10/2007 17:39

Baguettes come in plastic or paper sleeves in this country - don't they?

ChantillyLace · 09/10/2007 17:41

It was Waitrose where I saw one of the accidents and they have the warnings on the handles but it is a new store with brand new trolleys.

ADragonIs4LifeNotJustHalloween · 09/10/2007 17:42

The signs on trolleys say that you should not let your child ride in the trolley in this manner.

The woman was right and you were wrong, and all she said was that you were in danger of being told off, she didn't actually tell you off.

Move on.

ADragonIs4LifeNotJustHalloween · 09/10/2007 17:43

These signs have been on every trolley I've ever seen, B&Q, Ikea, Supermarkets... Sometimes it's a crossed out picture of a child in the trolley.

niceglasses · 09/10/2007 17:44

I've never seen a sign in all my many boring hours shopping.

Not that, tbh, it would stop me. As Caroline says there are many many things which are inadvisable, and there are also many things which are difficult with 3 small children. I wouldn't be looking to sue if they crashed out of it (which they never have nor come close too). They have however, got lost in supermarkets when not in body of trolley.

I knew this one would run and run.

ratclare · 09/10/2007 18:19

just a quick question ,do you wipe the handle of the trolley with antibac gel before touching it ? kids shoes in trolley ,quite possibly unhygenic if putting fresh fruit and veg in ,but just think how many incontinent old people have grappled those items to check for ripe ness or the staff (teenage boys ) who put them out ,think long and hard before ever touching anything in public ever ever again !!!!!!