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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to loathe the woman who told me off today in Tesco?

188 replies

oreGOREnianabroad · 09/10/2007 14:49

Ds1 (2.6) was in the front of the trolley, ds2 (6mo) was asleep in his car seat, correctly strapped into the top bit of the trolley. This woman approached me and said I would probably be told off for having ds1 in the front of the trolley. OK, I know it is not the safest place for him, but it is hardly the most dangerous. And he has happily shopped in this position for at least a year. And anyway, as long as my children are not in IMMINENT DANGER, why should she feel inclined to dispense unwanted and unsolicited advice, especially in such a passive aggressive manner ('Someone' is going to tell me off, or you are?)??? It is hard enough schlepping through the shops without people passing judgement.

OP posts:

mustsleep · 09/10/2007 18:30

i hate peple like this te other week i was getting dd a birthday cake for her 2nd bday

she was in her pushchair and hd screamed and screamed to hold the cake - it had hard icing and no squashy bits so i let her - this woman walked passed looked at us and then walked back towards us and said she's going to drop that isn't she , i said probably - and she rolled her eyes at me and walked off tutting and shaking her head who tf does she think she is - i dont care if she drops it it's her cake get a life

she had a child with her so you would think she'd understand but no

TresEmma · 09/10/2007 18:35

And anyway all the trolleys are left outside in the rain and muck all night - they are not hygienic before the kids get into tyhem. My kids rode in them with no probs but I watched them and held on to the handles.
And in my Mums supermarket baguettes (in fact all the bread) are just on th shelves, no wraps, no sleeves, anyone could squeeze them, sneeze on them....she doesn't buy her bread there now.

DumbledoresGirl · 09/10/2007 18:36

Caroline, baguettes come in open plastic wrappers and often the baguette partially slides out of its wrapper. I know they are open as I used to feed the end of the baguette to my child to keep him quiet as we shopped. (Grapes too but don't tell anybody!)

Thanks for that lucyellensmum, I dond't think I will be shopping in a supermarket ever again after thinking about some old man coughing sputum over my trolley!

PoshCod · 09/10/2007 18:37

LOOKthis COMVERSATION lasted for 2 MINS

and we have talked about it for 4 hours

out of proprtion?????

ADragonIs4LifeNotJustHalloween · 09/10/2007 18:41

2minutes AND the woman didn't actually tell her off at all

niceglasses · 09/10/2007 18:45

Comversation is better than conversation - think I'll start using it.

Original poster

oreGOREnianabroad · 09/10/2007 19:28

OK, OK. I am being unreasonable.

to have used the word 'loathe'
to have prolonged the conversation
dh just came home & I relayed the incident to him. Apparently, last week, a store employee also told him off for the same thing, and he has heard in-store announcements being made on health & safety grounds re: trolley issue (both of which he neglected to mention to me).

OP posts:

Walnutshell · 09/10/2007 19:33

Brilliant - now you can blame dh for your bad day - sorted!

And I am teasing

FrightOwl · 09/10/2007 19:48

i used to let dd sit in the trolley (not stand, danger of toppling out etc).

i know im not supposed to, but heck, it was the only way i could shop. i cant push a buggy and a trolley, and she refused to sit in the seat (cue large tantrum and the not bending thing).

the hygiene issue? well most food is packaged, fresh gets washed. im sure its come into contact with much worse on its journey to the supermarket, and just think how many children have sat in the trolley seat beforehand, wiping their snotty little noses on the handle...that we touch...with our hands...the same ones we use to pick up our food...to put in said trolley, which goes in our bag..that touches the worktops....tying myself in knots now.

i bet some of them have even peed themselves on those seats too.

lapsedrunner · 09/10/2007 19:54

DS (just 5) still sits IN the trolley sometimes...but then I don't live in the UK, but do live in Europe (but we're about 20 years behind here when it comes to H&S). The trolley with a baby seat has yet to be invented/introduced here so it's all relative IYSWIM

minorityrules · 09/10/2007 20:00

We only had trolleys with one toddler seat when mine were little, no doubles, no baby seats

Used to have 2 trolleys, one for toddler in seat and shopping, one with baby in car seat in the trolley

Any dirty looks and one of the trolleys would be really hard to steer and a few ankles got knocked (amazingly the ankles of the tutters

PeachyFleshCrawlingWithBugs · 09/10/2007 20:02

'Someone mentioned reins. Yuk. And quite apart from the yuk issue, has anyone ever tried to push a trolley with a newborn in the carseat carrier cradle (with a broken strap), guide a 21 month old on reins and do the shopping, any of the shopping? '

Shall be doing regularly soon- DS3 is on reins aged 4 for hsi own safety, and we'll ahev a new baby- ds1 will stay at home with dad (ds1 + supermarkets = BAD move (ASD). DS2 will trek alongside good as gold.
Actually I have been told of for havig a child in the trolley by staff before as well, probably why I do it. Hate being told off.

FWIW it was none of her business so YANBU but it would make me think about why she felt she ahd to say it.

SSSandy2 · 09/10/2007 20:05

you would definitely get told off BIG TIME for doing that here.

SSSandy2 · 09/10/2007 20:06

However I loathe anyone that tells me off on principle so as far as that goes, no, YANBU, go on and loathe her.

bubblepop · 09/10/2007 20:11

well i think i would have told her to mind her own business

jajas · 09/10/2007 20:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pneumalifenewname · 09/10/2007 20:14

I don't let mine do this even though they'd like to but it says children are not allowed to do so and so we abide by these rules.

However, it is a member of staff's place to tell you not some uptight shopper.

missgrisly · 09/10/2007 20:15

DS sometimes goes in the front of the trolley as it is the only place he is happy. He hates the seat (he and dd fight constantly when beside each other anyway) and will not stay beside me if I let him walk.

I used to tut tut (inwardly!) when I saw children in the front, however I now would do anything for a more peaceful life

Amethyst8 · 09/10/2007 20:21

I must be a real Div because although I allow my DS to sit in the main part of the trolley everyday I have never once considered the extensive issues involved with this as discussed in this thread. Just keeps him quiet and where I can see him. Personally would have told woman to mind her own business but admit I may have thought twice about putting him in there the next time I went shopping.

nooka · 09/10/2007 20:46

I used to let ds sit in the trolley, because whenever we had the two seater ones, dd used to pull his hair, and then he'd wail. Now I have no idea what they do when I go shopping as they disappear for long periods of time until I go and find them (we only ever go shopping at quiet times!). In between I'd get tem to push the trolley (cue fight, with dangerous weopons!). I try disowning them most of the time, it's much less stressful

welliemum · 09/10/2007 21:08

LOL at this thread.

Am picturing a nation brought to its knees by diseased shopping trolleys.

Please, please, next time you visit your GP, ask them how many times in their career they've treated patients with infections caught off their shopping trolley.

Then report back on this thread the exact words that the GP said.

2shoescreepingthroughblood · 09/10/2007 21:09

when i used to take dd shopping I got pissed of as there wans't a trolly I could sit her in as she has cp. so I would ask for a memebr of staff to push my troolly round.
why not do tha?

paolosgirl · 09/10/2007 21:15

Or maybe in a few weeks someone will post - "my child fell out of a trolley today - shall I sue Asda for not warning me that it's not safe"?

I've got less than 2 years between my DC, and yet somehow I managed without having to put DS in the food bit. I said no when he asked, I said no again when he asked again, and he slowly got the message. Just as they do.

SSSandy2 · 09/10/2007 21:19

I'm trying to envisage the reaction if I asked a member of staff at any Berlin supermarket to push my trolley for me.

Original poster

oreGOREnianabroad · 09/10/2007 21:22

Oh, is that how you do it then (paoosgirl)?

I am really glad that works for you.

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